Post # 1
I hope this in on the right board. If it’s not, feel free to move it.
Okay, so a brief history of my situation…
I have a friend who is getting married in a couple months. She was in my wedding, but I am not in hers, which I am okay with. One of her bridesmaids is my ex-best friend, (who I was planning to ask to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, before things went sour – and I don’t even know what happened, but that’s another story). Anyway, being as both my hubby and I are friends with her and her soon-to-be-hubby, I assumed I would probably be invited. But when hubby and I talked recently, he brought up the point that I should be prepared to NOT be invited because of the situation between the Bridesmaid or Best Man and myself. I realized he had a very valid point, and after a couple private tears, I have accepted that it’s a very good possibility.
SOOOO…..I was thinking, perhaps I should e-mail my friend and let her know that while my husband and I would of course like to come, we will understand if she feels uncomfortable inviting us, and we are willing to either avoid the Bridesmaid or Best Man in question or not come at all. And if that is the case, we would like to take her and her new hubby out after they get back from the honeymoon to celebrate with them privately. Do you think if I did, that it would be a weight off her shoulders knowing we’re not going to hate them forever if they don’t invite us, (I’m not about to call, because I will probably cry, which I don’t want to do, especially because I don’t want it to seem like I am calling her in tears to guilt her into an invite), or would that be rude of me to just ASSUME I was even getting an invitation in the first place? Please help, Bees!
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I think I’d wait and see what happens. I definitely wouldn’t contact her before you KNOW that you aren’t being invited. I know that if I were in her situation, I would never exclude one of my friends just because a Bridesmaid or Best Man didn’t like them. If it turns out that you aren’t invited, I would wait until after the wedding and contact her to see if you could take them out to dinner or something.
Post # 4
Wait and see. It might put her in even more an awkward position to be reminded of the situation. i’ve actually been in the same situation. BM at my friends wedding was my ex bestie but I was still invited and the wedding was fun! I’m sure that she will still invite you.
Post # 5
I vote for waiting too. She may not even have considered not inviting you, but if you bring it up she may begin to think that you don’t want to be invited, and are trying to be subtle or something.
Post # 6
Another vote for wait & see. Especially if you did it by email, no matter how carefully you worded it, she could easily interpret it as you not wanting to go to her wedding which would damage another friendship. I hope you’re invited (and I think I’d be surprised if you weren’t – you are close enough friends that she was in your weddnig), but if not offering to take her and her new husband out for a celebratory dinner would be a lovely gesture 🙂
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice, ladies! I am going to just sit tight for now. I really DO want to go to the wedding, and I don’t want to do anything to make her think I don’t. Of course I will be disappointed if she doesn’t invite me, but I’ll live. And if I DON’T get an invitation, I’ll e-mail or call after the wedding to invite them out to celebrate. Thanks again for your advice! You guys have helped me feel better about the whole situation. 🙂