(Closed) Taking Time Off from TTC?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Sorry you’re having such a tough time. I’m in the tww of our 10th cycle and it’s been a really hard process so far. 

I think taking a break depends on a few things. How old are you? Are there any known issues? What will your next step be if the last three IUI’s fail? Is IVF an option financially?

I can’t imagine taking a break at the moment. I just want to have my baby as soon as possible. My RE tried to put me on clomid a few months ago but I chose to persue a natural fertility programme for a few months as I didn’t feel ready. I’m kicking myself now, I just want to do whatever it takes.

One of my friends tried for each of her two for two years. She became so wrapped up trying for the second one that it started affecting her focus on other child and so she stopped trying for 6 months – not even NTNP, using condoms. When she felt ready to start trying again she fell pregnant fairly quickly.

Good luck with whatever you decide. 

 

Post # 3
Member
1591 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

View original reply
LadyBear:  *hugs* sorry, Bee. I can relate. We’ve been trying for 1.5 years with two early losses and just started seeing an RE last month. This cycle was the first cycle I really felt like I’ve HAD IT. I didn’t use OPKs and we didn’t really focus on BD sex, just had sex when we felt like it. Our RE has recommended we start with stims + TI which we won’t start until the cycle after next. We’re going to do next cycle like we did this cycle – just whatevs. While it’ll be a short break, it’s been nice not obsessing as much as usual! Maybe a break will do you and your hubby some good ๐Ÿ™‚ and who knows, there have been a few bees that got their BFP when they were taking a “break” ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Post # 4
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

View original reply
LadyBear:  I’m in a similar situation as you – trying for 2 years with 2 miscarraiges, a few TI cycles with the RE and 6 IUI’s. I can’t say what will be right for you, but here is my experience in time off:

Last June, after our initial testing with the RE, I was halfway through my first medicated cycle and found out I was no longer immune to chicken pox. I had to get the immunization again, which caused a 30 day (minimum) unplanned break from TTC as it is dangerous to expose a pregnancy to that live vaccine. I had a VERY difficult time and hated every moment of that break.

This January, after our 5th failed IUI, we decided to take a month off so that we could go on a ski trip with friends without having to worry about meds, monitoring, etc. The break was nice, since we could spend time (carefree) on a mini vacation, but it was hard as I was around a friend’s 10 month old son. I felt like we were wasting time and I was anxious to start our last IUI. During this time, we also met with our RE for another consult and were deciding what the right path was for our journey (IVF or donor eggs).

Currently, we are on another “break” of sorts. I’m not temping, OPK, timing intercourse, but we aren’t preventing either. After the 6th IUI failed in February, we decided to take time off to save money and start IVF in July. I feel the absolute best I have so far in our journey. My stress is gone, sex is fun, and I’m feeling really good about our attempt to try IVF (I have DOR, which gives us a 20-30% chance of even getting an embryo during our IVF cycle). I think because we have a goal that we can work towards, I’m distracted. I’ve focused my energy on eating better, cutting out alcohol, and saving money so that we aren’t using our savings. I have picked up an extra job (after quitting a full time one in January to work from home part time) and we have surpassed our goal to pay for IVF+meds, and I’ve even been able to save for 8 weeks of acupuncture, massages for both of us prior to the start and some other “fun” things to do to help relax. Of course, I think about how I’m not getting any younger and I might not have any eggs, but I feel like I’m in such a better place than if we were to jump right from a failed cycle to IVF. My mind is clear, I don’t cry nearly as often (and if I do, I accept it and let myself feel those feelings), and I’m just so much more emotionally healthy. We were able to schedule IVF to happen and take the entire two weeks off from work so we aren’t worrying about when egg retrieval and monitoring will be. I think, for me, this will make the stress of IVF much less and hopefully help with better results!

Anyway, I’m so sorry you find yourself in a similar situation. I can’t tell you what to do, because every situation is different. My only advice is that if you do decide to take a break, have something to focus on. It will help you from feeling guilt or sadness over the “lost” months and you can channel your energy towards something else for a bit of time. Hopefully when you are ready, you will know it. Sending you lots of hugs and good luck with whatever decision you make. Feel free to PM me if you need ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My Darling Husband and I are about to hit the 2 year mark of TTC and we are currently on a break from it all after our second failed cycle of injectibles and TI.  To add to the frustration we discovered that our RE’s office was way overcharging us (we paid AND insurance paid the same costs) so not only am I not pregnant but now we’re having to deal with getting over $500 back that they overcharged us.  I’m turning 32 next week and I’m ready to throw in the towel altogether.  Secondary unexplained infertility sucks.

Post # 7
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We took a break a few months ago.  Background:  TTC 2.5 years, unexplained. 

We did 2 unmonitored Clomid cycles that failed.  The third cycle, I had an ultrasound to look at the follicle growth, and my Dr felt that my body, for some reason, allows my follicles to grow “too much” before ovulating, so we did an Ovidrel trigger shot to force ovulation a few days earlier in my cycle.  

This being my first time having the ultrasound, seeing 2 follicles matured, and that we might have a possible reason for our infertility got my hopes up for that cycle.  When it failed, I was devastated and could not even think about popping more Clomid and dealing with those side effects.  I was not in a good place emotionally.  Pregnant women at the grocery store made me cry.  I was pissed at myself for allowing myself to get my hopes up.  I blamed myself for being the “problem” and I even offered Darling Husband an “out” so he could find someone else and have kids while he was young enough to do so.  This was right before Thanksgiving, and Darling Husband and I decided we needed a break from the Dr’s and meds for a while. 

It was hard.  The holidays are already hard enough, because you get this idea in your head that next year you’ll have a baby, and then here you are, still childless…and fielding questions from nosey family members. There were definitely moments during our break that I REALLY wanted to go back to the Dr and get another Clomid Rx and try again, but then I remembered why I took the break in the first place.  I needed it for my own emotional health.  We NTNP for a few months, tried to enjoy each other and the holidays, and now I’ve had 2 more Clomid + ovidrel cycles.  

If this cycle fails, we will likely switch to Femara (due to lining issues) and try a few IUIs.  Like you, IVF isn’t really financially feasible for us either, and we’re still not sure we’re ready to commit that kind of money for something that has no guaranteed outcome.  Adoption is something we’re on the fence about, currently.

Post # 8
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Muhlhauser Barn

I’m currently pregnant after 18 months of TTC. I’m 31 with a partially blocked tube and my Darling Husband is 26 with low morphology (1%). We started seeing an RE at 12 months & I was put on clomid + IUI cycles. The first 3 tries were a bust — they had to keep increasing my clomid dosage. IUI #4 did the trick, but ended in a CP. We decided to take a 1 month break after that, but somehow managed to get pregnant again — immediately followed by a second CP on Christmas. Decided that we were only going to do 2 more IUI cycles before changing the game plan to look into adoption (expensive, but so many credits available through government + our work that it was more feasible than IVF for us). I ended up getting pregnant with our 5th IUI and miraculously this one stuck — I’m 20 weeks pregnant with a little girl right now. We’ve already decided that we are one and done unless we somehow manage to have an unplanned pregnancy… The TTC process is so hard, not knowing if there’s ever going to be a light at the end of the tunnel and losing all hope time and time again. Taking a break is definitely a double edged sword — it can do wonders for your relationship with your husband and your sanity, but at the same time the wondering “what if” can drive you crazy! Best of luck to you!!!!

Post # 9
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
LadyBear:  First of all ((hugs)) I know exactly what you’re going through. Last year we did 4 IUIs back-to-back, BFN on all and we (mosty me) were emotionally and physically exhausted. When you’re on the meds and injectibles plus all the monitoring appts, it honestly feels like your whole world revolves around treatment. I found I neglected my friends, extended family and there was very little room for fun. All the side effects don’t help either, not to mention the emotional toll of the anxiety during the TWW the disappointment when you get the BFN. We finished our 4th IUI in June and Darling Husband and I decided to just take the summer off. It was honestly such a relief not to have to plan our lives around going to appointments and doing meds/shots multiple times a day. I don’t know about you but I actually felt a big change in my personality and who I was as a person during those IUI treatments. Taking that break really helped me center myself again allowed me to relax and simply have fun again. We went on vacation in September which helped our relationship a lot too. Once we were ready to commence treatment again, we knew we were going straight to IVF and we’ll be starting our first cycle this week. Having the break really helped us prepare emotionally for this next step. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to this, you have to discuss it with your Darling Husband and make the right decision for the two of you. However, the stress and anxiety that builds up with back-to-back treatments can have an effect on the outcome so don’t beat yourself up if you need to take the time to be kind to yourself. Best wishes Bee!

Post # 10
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I haven’t personally as we’ve just started TTC so have no idea how it will go, but just wanted to say it seems from my observations of others around me that a break can be a good thing. A friend who was TTC for a year was unsuccessful with clomid and iui, took a break to wait a cycle to have a medical procedure done… went out for sushi and a cocktail binge and got pregnant unassited! So, you just never know what the future holds and if you feel like mentally and emotionally you need a break then by all means you should allow yourself one.

Post # 11
Member
910 posts
Busy bee

2+ years TTC. Unexplained infertility. We have been NTNP for 6 months, because ‘trying’ was so stressful and disappointing. We have had 1 miscarriage. Every single one of my friends has had a baby within the last 2 years, so I am constantly at baby showers, 1st birthdays, Christenings etc. I try very hard now to block things out – I don’t know how to word that correctly. Put it this way – I have tried to come to terms with never having a baby so the pain of seeing everybody else’s babies/announcements doesn’t hit so hard. The last 6 months has definitely been easier emotionally. I no longer buy tests and drive myself bananas symptom spotting. I just expect AF instead so I don’t get the disappointment of testing. At this point I don’t see myself going back for more fertility treatment as mentally it was really hard. 

Post # 12
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I took 3 months off after my first iui failed. It felt so good and we took a nice vacation. I was really struggling mentally and I don’t think I could have done 3 iui cycles back to back. My third iui cycle was successful and I’m sitting next to my newborn twins right now ๐Ÿ™‚ hang in there and don’t lose hope! Give yourself a break if you need to! I hope you get pregnant asap!

The topic ‘Taking Time Off from TTC?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors