(Closed) Talk me down? (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My vote is to wait it out till you see each other again. Sometime technology silence can feel like it means so much than it actually does.

Post # 4
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can totally relate because I tend to read a lot into the littlest things when my husband and I are in a fight, but I think you really just have to take him at his word on this. I’ve had plenty busy days where I can’t even think about emailing someone for pleasure. Really, as hard as it is, you’ve just gotta let it go. You’ll probably be able to laugh over this when you get home!

Post # 6
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Im sure it will be okay. He probably just needs to cool down, and it takes some people longer. My Fiance often just needs to cool off after a fight and takes way longer than I do for it to happen. *hugs* Hang in there!

Post # 7
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

They stress me out too.  It is okay, I bet he’s just busy at work; sometimes people need space and don’t know how to say that without freaking other people out because obviously if someone says “I just need space” someone like me will freak out and take that to mean “I’m mad at you” when it really just means “I just need space.” It took me months to figure that out with my fiance and over a year to not panic and think it meant he was mad at me when he got short with me; now I know it just means he wants to be left alone but doesn’t want to upset me.

It sounds like he’s trying to work things out with himself and just doesn’t want to do anything that will lead to another fight.  Take the “love you” to mean just that…he loves you.  Also your magic 8 ball is a jerk.  You should punish it or something.

Post # 8
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

Honey, you do drive yourself crazy, and if you’re not careful you’re only going to make matters worse. You’ll stress yourself out and then lose the energy that you need to be the loving wife he needs. I’d say give him some space. Have you ever read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? It’s a good book. It explains this concept of how men sometimes just wanna go into their cave to cool off. They don’t want to talk or be smothered, they want to be alone and they will cool off most efficiently. During those times, what you need to do is back off and give him the impression that it’s ok for him to be taking his time alone, in his cave. Otherwise you will only make matters worse.

I had a very hard time with this for 2 years but finally learned to accept it. Ever since I did, our relationship has been going great. I’ve learned to be less needy and when he needs his space I actually enjoy doing something for myself. It’s hard, but you need to trust that he still loves you and that he will come back with even more love for you. I know how insecure those moments can be, but you need to do it for him and for your marriage. Good luck!

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