(Closed) Talk me off the ledge…or push me over it! -long-

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

first hugs. second take a long bath and really think what you want have some wine too. wine makes everyone think somewhat clearer the first glass-..more then that u might get liquid courage to just elope or have the big wedding everyone seems to be pushing u towards.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with @asianyoushi that you should take a step back and try to take a break from wedding stuff for a couple days.

If you still feel this frustrated after the weekend and feel like there’s this judgey black cloud over your wedding, I would definitely plan to elope.

Post # 6
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

have hot cocoa and or kahlua coffee… something comforting and relaxing

Post # 7
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Galang_Gyal:  Why did you decide on a courthouse wedding? It seems to me you wanted it to be simple and easy from the beginning, but your family is pulling you in another direction because they want your wedding to be something you don’t want. That’s why I would elope; your wedding should make you happy and be the way you want, not a familial obligation you have to trudge through.

 

As a trial run, you could start planning a theoretical elopement without making any commitments or saying anything to anyone–Where would you go? What would you do while you’re there before and after the wedding? What would you wear if no one else’s opinion mattered? If you start thinking about that stuff and it makes you feel happy and relieved, I think you have your answer.

 

Post # 9
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Please borrow my motto: “It’s my party, I do what I want!!!”

That being said, it sounds to me that you and your Fiance want to keep things really simple. Maybe you all should just elope 🙂

Post # 10
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I made a post the other day about wanting a small and simple wedding but my Fiance said hes only “doing this once and doing it right”  So now he made the list and we invited 350 people. 

I am so sorry you have to go through this. If it is not to late… don’t.  I have been doing a lot of stuff on my own and DIY.  The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that it will make my Fiance happy.  If it were my parents or anyone else, I would say forget it.  Do what you want!  Make sure that in 50 years you do not regret your wedding but look back on it and would do it exactly all over again. 

 

My sister also went through the same thing I did.  However, mostly because our brother had passed away about 5 months before her wedding.  After all was said and done and a lot of us had to help with the planning and motivate her/push her… she was so happy they had the bigger wedding and would do it all over again. 

 

I may be biased because I am a Massage therapist… but go get yourself a relaxing massage!!!  good luck!

Post # 11
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Just don’t listen to them. Say you’ll distribute the wedding details when ready and put up with no further conversation. If they try to talk about it, hang up. Have any emails with the word “wedding” in them filtered to a separate folder to deal with when ready. If out with family and they begin discussing it in a stressful way, leave. Don’t have them over if you think they may want to stress you out about the wedding – if they come over uninvited, don’t let them in. If you stand up for yourself, they’ll fall in line. Part of the reason why they’re doing this to you is that you’re letting them.

And then they’ll come to your wedding and be happy they were invited, dammit.

Post # 12
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Galang_Gyal:  Just a thought: my parents eloped because of my dad’s family being very overbearing about their wedding, so they went away and eloped in a beautiful corthouse with their two oldest friends. When they came home, they had a semi-formal dinner/reception to celebrate and appease their families. Maybe you could still do the dinner on the scheduled date but have a little elopement ceremony somewhere on your own?

 

Post # 14
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I feel for you!

Your mom sounds kind of controlling.  Why does she need you to tell everyone everything right now? People give out a save the date and that usually clears up a lot of questions. 

Can you tell your mom that she is pushing you to want to cut her out of the process because she’s not supporting you in any form or fashion? And tell her you are about to lose it because this is no longer fun and joyous like it should be.

It is your wedding day and it should go according to your plan instead of hers.  Parents love to treat their kids like kids no matter how old they are so you need to stand up to her a little.

Hugs.

 

Post # 16
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Galang_Gyal:  Well, living with your family is probably the entire problem, lol. When I briefly moved back in my junior year of college, all the progress we’d made on a grown up relationship went away and they were right into telling me what to do all the time. Is there any way you and your fiance can move in together asap?

The topic ‘Talk me off the ledge…or push me over it! -long-’ is closed to new replies.

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