(Closed) Talk me through this strip club thing ya'll!

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Do you think that one reason he was uncomfortable telilng you was that it was an uncomfortable experience for him? If someone isn’t used to that environment it can make them more uncomfortable than titilated a lot of times. 

Post # 5
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Fiance and I went to one in New Orleans and going totally changed my opinion of them. The girls really were not that hot, but they could do amazing things on the pole that takes great strength. They started in skimpy lingerie and ended in a g string. They were girl hot in the size 0 with flat abs and tiny boobs way. My Fiance wasn’treally into that and I had a better body then most of them.

Lap dances were gross. The girls wiggle their boobs 4 inches from a guys face while straddling them. Then they wiggle their butt in their face.Let’s just leave it as I wasn’t threatened and feel like it did not turn Fiance on. I am fine with him going for his bachelor party and a few other bachelor parties, but not if it is a normal thing.

Post # 6
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@candlelight10:  Put it out of your mind.  I’ve never been to a strip club, but Darling Husband has when he was younger.  He said it’s the furthest thing from sexy or arousing you can imagine; that it’s boring and a waste of money.  He said for him it was uncomfortable and strange being in a room with a bunch of other men watching semi-attractive-half-naked women swing around on a pole and was not sexy, to him, at all.  He told me the whole strip club thing is more of a male-bonding experience than anything.  There are the occasional “loner” guys who go by themselves who most likely aren’t in a committed relationship and … well … ewww.  I don’t think you have anything to worry about. 

Post # 7
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I personally think strip clubs are harmless, and have been to them myself (with female dancers).  Depending on where you live, I know they vary in the level of clothing removed, touching, etc., but generally, it’s just like an expensive adult version of the zoo.  I’m sure he was wary of your reaction, and like PP said, he could have been mortified by the situation and didn’t care to shower you with details.  Don’t worry about it.  Glad you both had fun at your respective parties!

Post # 8
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@candlelight10:  My guess is that he didn’t have much of a choice. Fiance is going to a strip club on his bachelor party because socially he has no choice. His friends will insist and after 5-10 minutes of hoopla, he will be drinking a beer with a groomsman in the back waiting for the others to get their fill.

Post # 9
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

These threads always crack me up! Everyone is so certain that their SO abhors the clubs and only go bc they HAVE to. This is a billion dollar industry for a reason. And I doubt it is because men go and stand in the back talking to the bouncers. Men can separate sex and love better than women most of the time. Yes, he is probably getting a dance and enjoying it. As long as he comes home to you let it go. 

That said, there’s not much you can do. I’m sure he didn’t participate in anything untoward. 

Post # 10
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mamadingdong:  Hmmmm.  I can easily separate sex from love, when I’m not in love. 

If I am in love I have no desire to separate sex from love.  Neither does Darling Husband – I know him very well. 

I don’t think it is fair to men to generalize the stereotype about them being more capable of separating sex from love than women are.  I feel absolutely sure I can separate sex from love far easier than probably a huge number of men can, speaking from personal experience. 

In my  experience (which is quite extensive), having sex with a man makes him a hundred times more likely to view you as “his” than almost anything else can. 

Sex is very bonding,  equally as much for men as it is for women.  Maybe some men don’t want some women to know that fact, but it is true.  

However, I really don’t think any of that has anything at all to do with strip clubs or why some men enjoy going to them.  I’m sure they all have their own personal reasons for doing so, and they’re all different reasons.  Probably a lot of the time, especially a bachelor party, it’s just a male bonding experience and to save face with the guys. 

Post # 12
Member
9574 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have been to plenty of strip clubs and I pretty much know what happens and what doesn’t and it does vary state to state and person to person (I think I’ve been to some in 3 different states).  While I would admit if I was watching my Fiance get a lap dance I would be jealous, I will also say they don’t threaten me and I would not be hurt or jealous if he ended up at one for a random bachelor party.  Now, we would have a problem if he wanted to go all the time, but he has no desire to go. 

But that’s just my view on things, a lot of women view them differently. 

I would just let it go, what’s the point in even dwelling on it now?

Post # 14
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@candlelight10:  Why don’t you ask him WHY he was never planning to tell you?  That would bother me, too, truthfully.  What was his reason for not sharing that with you?  Did he think you’d be upset?  Or maybe he didn’t like the experience and just wanted to forget about that it ever happened, lol.

Post # 16
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Unless he is giving the car payment and the mortgage to a stripper, its not a big deal.

The topic ‘Talk me through this strip club thing ya'll!’ is closed to new replies.

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