- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Hello bees, this is more of an update on what has happened with my best friend, who has slowly become toxic in my life. I will be traveling abroad for marriage in two weeks! woop! However, I am saddened that I may not see my best friend before I leave. I was ready to make the trip (she lives two hours away) go visit her etc. However, I am very busy and I think it is so inconsiderate that she will not come and say goodbye to me. i think that it should come from her.
So I finally had the courage to tell her, “hey, I really want to see you, you are the only person I havent said goodbye to before I leave. However, as I hope you can understand, time is flying by and I am so swamped with planning and our trip. Probably you can come and visit me? I will try and see though if I can go! :)” She has brought up that she was thinking about that, how she hasnt seen me, and simply said “yeah, I hope you can come, I would love to see ya before you leave.” and thats it.
A few days later, she brought it up again and said “I hope I get to see you. Im sad. Im sad I wont get to see you.” I said, “I know, I hope so too, but you know im so busy, thats why I asked if you could see if you can come?” She replied with, “I dont think Ill be able to go hmm Im anti-bus right now (she doesnt have a car and usually gets the train or bus when she comes to visit which is like once a year, i usually am the one that goes often), probably if I can borrow my bros car.”
I got sooo sad, how can she say she is sad, but then said, hmm I dont want to make an effort to see you. how can she say that? how can she make me feel bad? Every event in her life, which has been mainly moving to college and graduating from it, I have gotten the bus to go and have even driven my crappy old car 5 hours to be there for her grad. yet, on the biggest moment of my life, she doesnt feel like going to see me bc she doesnt have a car. Mind you, I am a very understanding person, I think a bit too much. It would have been different if she said “hey, I really want to see you, you know I care for you and excited for you, but right now its a bit hard for me to go there, I hope you understand and know that I am there in spirit.” but not blatantly show me that she frankly isnt THAT sad and doesnt want to make the effort.
I tried to talk to her how bad she has made me feel, but she then had to go, the subject was changed. I have officially become recented with her, and have given up on trying to salvage anything. I just have to face it, doesnt care for me, but not as much, and its all about her. shes not being the great friend I always thought she was.
I am just planning to go with the flow, not really make an effort to call her as much, and as hard as it is to realize that I may not say good bye to her and see her before my trip, I just have to painfully let it go. Am I right to do this? Should I do something else? I was thinking of talking to her, but I feel she is just going to get angry and my family and FH says its a waste of time and that its time to slowly but surely cut her off. Is the only way of getting closure and move on is to simply let it wine down and let the friendship dissapear?
I know I have talked about her here over and over and you guys have no idea how helpful the bees have been during this hard time.
Thanks for all your advice.