(Closed) Talk to me about not having a wedding party…

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
Post # 16
Hostess
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We just had a flower girl and ring bearer. They sat with their parents after they walked down the aisle. 

My besties are scattered far and wide. It seemed like more trouble than it was worth to coordinate everybody. And DH’s closest friends all lived out of state too. We were both in our 30s and didn’t need to affirm relationships in the complicated wedding party way.

My best friends all spent the day in the bbridal suite while I got ready. They had hair and makeup done and I got robes for everyone too. It was a really fun day. DH and his besties stayed the night before the wedding at the venue (it was a lodge that we rented in full for the weekend, with 8 or 10 bedrooms upstairs) and had a guys game night.  

Our wedding was perfect for us. We feel like we got the best of all worlds – having a fun bonding experience with our buddies, without having to worry over dresses, etc. 

Post # 17
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

No wedding party here either.  The last couple of weddings I’ve been to have felt like 3 ring circuses with ridiculous bridal parties (like everyone they know in their age range).  I want our wedding to be meaningful, not just follow traditions “just because”. My daughter will walk down the aisle with me and that’s it!  I don’t have to stress out any of my friends with the $$ and time it costs to be in a bridal party and they can enjoy the party at our wedding rather than deal with pictures and whatnot.

Post # 18
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

BEST decision we ever made! We had a big wedding with just our bffs who are a married couple as our Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man. It was so easy and drama free. Not having a bridal party never made any part of the wedding festivities less special. Looking back I still would have never done it either way and my hubby agrees!

Post # 19
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
kristaalee :  Back in the day (2011 lol) at my wedding, we didn’t have a wedding party, I just had my mom and dad walk me down the aisle. They wore our colors to coordinate with my husband. Everyone knew we were having a small, intimate wedding so it came as no surprise that I wasn’t having bridesmaids and DH wasnt having groomsmen. The #1 priority to me was that my Dad be there to walk me down the aisle and I got that, so I was happy. It made more sense for us and my family is very laid-back and down-to-earth, so they don’t expect a big, lavish wedding anyways. I have 3 sisters that I am very close to, actually my best friends, so I didn’t want to choose between them for a Maid/Matron of Honor, even though they all would’ve been completely supportive about it. It was so much less stress for me not having to deal with bridesmaids dresses and bouquets and groomsmen’s outfits. But many people really enjoy having their family and close friends in their wedding, so it’s really just a personal preference. Do what you feel is right. The sides don’t have to be even, so you could just include your sister and let him have his guys. 

Post # 20
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

This is a decision we’re making too. I’m leaning to none, but he’s leaning to two on each side. My reasoning for having none is because we’ll be having a small wedding (less than 30) and I feel like it’d be nicer to have them watching; not a big group at the front. Plus I am super introverted and don’t really feel the need to have someone stand near me. My partner is leaning towards having them because it’s what weddings have (bless him haha), and he’d like his best friends up there. We’re not even technically engaged yet though, so we’ve got time to mull it over.

Post # 21
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

We had no wedding party and loved it. It was a very small wedding (40 guests) so it seemed a bit silly to have people standing at the front with us though we did have some friends/family do readings. Our thinking was, we have limited our guest list to the people who are most important to us so there is no need to single anyone else out – all our guests are very special to us!

Post # 22
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

My Future SIL only had 1 Bridesmaid (her sister) and one groomsmen (his brother) it didn’t feel awkward or anything. There’s plenty of other people up there with you so I don’t think you will look weird even if you choose not to be up there with anyone other then the officiant and your FH. 

Congrats and good luck! 

Post # 23
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
futremrswhite17 :  You’re right that not all women look good in the same dress. That’s why my three bridesmaids picked out their own style. (all different) 

To the op: I’m having 3 bridesmaids. What made me decide was that it was important to have my close friends standing beside me. I feel like people who think that having a bridal party causes “drama” or because they don’t want their friends to have extra expenses are usually people with crazy high expectations of what a bp is supposed to do. 

Post # 24
Member
5648 posts
Bee Keeper

My DH had two best men. His two best buddies. 

I have a group of really close girl friends and a couple of friends from childhood. No way could I pick between them! So no bridesmaids. 

In the uk it’s the norm for bride to pay for dress, hair etc for bridesmaids so having 10 of them would be costly too!!  As well as a bit silly for a small wedding  – it would have been almost half our ceremony guests! 

One of my best friends little girl who I’m close with was our flower girl. 

My girls were all amazing. Planned hen parties (away and home), made favours, did a speech or reading, sang at the ceremony. I felt very supported and lucky. 

We are all older and have been bridesmaids loads of times. It was nice just to be more casual about it. 

I got ready with my mum and she walked with me down the isle. 

Very happy with the way it all worked. 

Post # 25
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I honestly wish we didn’t have a wedding party, but I knew it was very important to my fiance to have his brother and group of guy friends since childhood stand up with him.  He’s having 8 (!) groomsmen.  I managed to put together 4 bridesmaids (good friend, future SIL, and two cousins) and my best guy friend will stand on my side as a bridesman.  Fiance initially complained about the asymmetry but there is no way in hell I was going to have 8 bridesmaids, so he came around.

You do what makes you happy.  Don’t worry about tradition, or how things look.  The worst idea is to include people you don’t really want to include in a wedding party.  If you want no bridesmaids and your fiance wants some groomsmen, just do it.

Post # 26
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
kristaalee :  We didn’t have a bridal party at all. It made planning a LOT easier because there were less people to contend with, etc. I don’t regret it one bit.

Post # 27
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We had one Bridesmaid or Best Man and one Groomsmen (my sister and his brother).  We liked it that way.  No friends, so there was no drama.

Post # 28
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

We had 25 people at our wedding including us. We didn’t have a wedding party and I loved it. My parents walked me down the aisle. There was zero stress, and my H and I got ready together in the morning which was intimate and perfect. I’m Team No Wedding Party all the way. 

Post # 29
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We’re not having a wedding party. We are having about 30 guests and my parents will be walking me down the aisle. I think it cut down on a lot of stress not having one. 

Post # 30
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

We didn’t have a wedding party. We had about 100 people in our wedding, it was a church wedding, but we didn’t have a wedding party. My husband’s family and friends were all far away, so getting groomsman together would have been difficult. For me, I had many close friends that came in groups, so it came down to either having no bridesmaids or ten bridesmaids. We did have to have “witnesses” for church requirements, so we each had our older sister stand up with us for the vows, but they didn’t process in or wear matching outfits. Our other siblings (5 more between the two of us) did readings, served as ushers, and helped with the music. From a planning perspective, not having a wedding made everything easier. There was no coordination, no flowers or getting ready to arrange, and I think it made the day more peaceful, tbh. My friends seemed a bit hurt when I first explained it to them, but I think they were okay with it when they realized how much time and money I saved them.

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