(Closed) Talked with him about a timeline

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Is it tough to get your guy to talk about a timeline/ getting engaged in general?
    Yes, I talk about it too much and he's sick of the topic! : (8 votes)
    21 %
    Yes, but I'm not sure why : (9 votes)
    23 %
    No, we talk about it all the time..I'm a lucky gal! : (7 votes)
    18 %
    No, I'm already happily engaged! : (11 votes)
    28 %
    Other..described in a post : (4 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee

    Meh, I just voted “other” because none of the poll options really fit me, but I like clicking on things!

    We’ve talked about engagement/marriage a few times, and my guy has brought it up on his own, so it’s not that difficult to get him to talk about that stuff; but we haven’t discussed a timeline because I feel like we’re so far away from a proposal that there’s no point in pressuring/aggravating him with that kind of talk, and I’m in no hurry anyway. I want us to hit the 2 year mark, as well as a few personal milestones, before marriage is seriously an option that’s on the table for us. 

    Even when a proposal does become a more tangible possibility, I don’t think I’ll get a “timeline” from him, because he’s very traditional, and I’m sure he’ll think it would ruin the surprise. We have a general age we’d like to be married by, and I’m assuming he’ll probably stick to that – that’s all I need to know. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    600 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2006

    We’ve “talked” about a timeline three times and then established one once.  I won’t bring up the timeline specifically again, but I do talk about marriage, moving in together, and getting engaged.  I think once a timeline is established, regardless of how long, the timeline itself should not be discussed again until it’s been broken by a couple days or weeks in case a plan went awry.  I chose other because my guy isn’t really resistant anymore, but I wouldn’t want to beat him over the head with something that’s 6.5 months away.

    Post # 5
    Member
    232 posts
    Helper bee

    My SO is not fazed at all when I bring it up.  The other day I teasingly asked him if he would let me know a week or two before the proposal so that I could get my nails done.  He said he wasn’t telling me ANYTHING.  Lol, girls gotta try.

    Post # 6
    Member
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We don’t really have a timeline of when the proposal is going to happen. I have an idea (more of a hope) that he’s going to do it on our anniversary next month, but we haven’t talked about it much. We have talked about rings and have gone ring shopping and we discussed getting married summer of 2012. But other than that we haven’t set a timeline. I don’t want to ask at this point because I don’t want to ruin any surprise he may have planned. But yes, I would say it is difficult to talk about getting engaged with him.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3302 posts
    Sugar bee

    See I am pretty borderline about this topic-

    I do agree about not continually bringing it up because it does let the guy wonder what you are thinking (you know what someone is thinking if they are always bringing it up) HOWEVER I am not against having conversations about engagement/marriage ESPECIALLY if your SO is the person to start the conversation.

    For a good year, I hounded my guy to death about getting engaged, so much that it wore the both of us out. I was tired, resentful, upset and confused…. then one day I really just let it go. I explained to him that this is what I want and if he wasn’t ready or wanted the same, I was going to move on with my life. I let him know he was on borrowed time. Then I dropped it. For a good 2-3 weeks, I said NOTHING, just enjoyed our relationship, focused on myself more, created some goals and left the marriage talk alone. It was like he took notice immediately and HE started bringing it up and talking about it. Then he started watching more chick flicks with me (like the Proposal) and was commenting freely on it all and was just more comfortable having those types of disucssions. I never got a deadline from my SO though- he just would never offer one- instead he said, when he has money to buy a ring he will… and he did.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3297 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

    He won’t give me a timeline, just says that when a big chunk of money leaves the bank account, a proposal will not be far behind. I don’t bug him about it because since we met he has told me how it should be a surprise and something special. I don’t want to ruin that for him. Thank goodness this board is here.

    Post # 9
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My SO gave me somewhat of a timeline a few days ago. We were talking about rings ( or really I was lol) and told me not to worry about it so much. He told me that I would have it by his birthday which is in September. This is the first time he’s given any sort of timeline so I was pretty excited to hear it! Now to just keep my damn mouth shut for the next six monthsSealed

    Post # 10
    Member
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    It took forever to get a timeline haha, I would ask every other week or so and finally he agreed to tell me. He said before 2013, which is the year I want to get married. I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen this year because he wants to buy a car when I’m in fourth year and he’s working (his program is only 3 years) but he said we have to be engaged first.. I really hope that he’ll do it this year, I want a long engagement 😉

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