Post # 1
I’ve had two experiences recently where I’ve hung out with a friend and others who I’m friendly with but not necessarily friends. And both of these times (different people each time) the topic of the wedding and wedding plans came up. (I wasn’t the one to initiate the conversation). And both times I felt awkward because though I’m planning on inviting each friend, there’s no plans to invite the others.
So how do I handle this? I feel uncomfortable talking about wedding stuff in front of people not coming, because I just feel that’s rude. I’ve been trying to be vague in what I say, or change the topic. But are there any other things I can do?
Post # 3
ha i had this issue too, especially with people at work. they ask about it and what am i supposed to do, NOT answer?? it’s a tough one. I think you’re method of being vague or changing the subject is a good one.
Post # 4
I struggle with this too, and think I actually *look* awkward. I try to change the subject but they usually just keep asking me questions. I remember though knowing SO many people who were engaged, and I would ask questions about the wedding because I genuinely wanted to know, but had no qualms whatsoever about not being invited. I think as long it stays in neutral territory and doesn’t get into specifics (“So, what time should I be there?”), you’re okay 🙂
Post # 5
We have been very careful not to talk about the wedding plans with friends we won’t be able to invite due to budget issues. When they ask I simply say “it’s coming along nicely. How is in your life going?” Sometimes that worked, other times not so much. There are a few friend who are planning weddings too and we talk details and know that we won’t be invited to each other’s wedding. Maybe find a friend like that if you want to gush about your newest DIY project.
Post # 6
@ejs1228: I do the same.
I just tend to not bring it up because of the few people I’m not inviting. If it does come up I deflect. I’ll say, “I’m excited about it, but it’s nothing to stress about just yet. Now, more importantly, what are we going to do about lunch?” It usually works.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone for your thoughts! I think the problem is that these “extra people” (for lack of a better word) are people I know from my grad school program…I studied social work, which is a field that tends to attract people who are very friendly, and caring, and really want to hear intently about the details of things. So people asking because they really do care. Which is nice and at the same time…ack! 🙂
And I think it’s good to consider the fact that asking doesn’t necessarily imply being invited–like you guys said. And hopefully they aren’t expecting an invite, just asking to be nice. And because they’re excited for me. 🙂 (And luckily, many of the people we’re inviting are also nice and asking, so I can go into details with them)