(Closed) Talking sex with your Priest?

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not Catholic, but my Fiance was raised Catholic, went to a Catholic school, etc.  I always wondered how a priest would be able to effectively discuss topics like sex and relationship issues when they themselves are barred from those activities.  I’m really happy that the minister for our wedding is someone we can look up to – happily married with several children and a grandchild.  I think I can relate to that lifestyle better.

Post # 5
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We are having a Christian wedding, and we had to talk with our Pastor about sex during our premarital counseling. I was sooo nervous, but the talk (with our Pastor anyway) was very comfortable.  Although in Christianity you are supposed to wait before marriage, it wasn’t the main topic of conversation.  The focus was mainly on “severing old soul-ties” as he called it. I thought it was sort of sweet, but maybe I’m weird. We mainly just discussed what sex can bring to our marriage, and how important it is to let go of old emotional ties with anyone we have slept with previously.

Post # 6
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Do you have to talk about sex with a group or is it one-to-one with a Priest? Agggh, we haven’t started the Pre Cana stuff yet but the sex chat stuff is not something I’m looking forward to!

Post # 7
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

@Eva – interesting point! Does anyone remember that bit in Sister Act 2 when one of the students tells the nuns she has no business teaching sex ed and the nun replies “You don’t have to bite the donut to know it’s sweet”?

Post # 9
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Lol, not even with your Fiance there, literally just you and the Priest? I can’t wait to fill Fiance in on that one! Don’t think he bargained for that, ha ha.

Post # 10
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I certainly hope it’s with both the bride and groom together before the Priest.  At least in the churches I grew up in, it was considered inappropriate for a female member of the congregation to meet with a male person in authority if just the two of them were in the room with a door shut – especially with that type of topic.  It’s just a liability for everyone I think…

Post # 12
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Believe it or not, priests are very experienced when it comes to sexual issues… they hear about it every week during confession. And they hear some pretty explicit stuff, too. And anyway not a lot of them were virgins when they were ordained.

John Paul II actually wrote a whole book about sex and theology called Love and Responsibility. At one point he discusses the female orgasm and how husbands have a duty to try to make sure their spouse enjoys sex.

Catholicism is really big on the “incarnational” thing. Sex is holy, it’s a big part of life and nothing to be ashamed or squeamish about. I have even heard love-making discussed from the pulpit during Sunday Mass, although of course the priest was not explicit at all given that there were small children in the room.

Just remember your priest has “heard it all” when it comes to sex, and nothing you say is going to shock him. He has probably decades worth of experience with couples and one-on-one with people in the confessional, don’t tune it out or you might miss some great insights!

Post # 13
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

OMG! I am so not looking forward to that! LOL

Post # 14
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I want to second the comment that not all priests were virgins when they became priests. I was friends with a man who will officially become a priest this month and before he succombed to the calling to be a priest he had all the normal “young man” experiences…  

Post # 15
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m a practicing Catholic who goes to church every week, and I was surprised at the sex conversations at the group thing too… until I put 2 and 2 together and realized how important of a topic it is when (1) Catholics value saving yourself for your spouse, (2) Catholics frown upon methods of birth control that work by altering the natural functioning of your God-given body, and (3)Catholics consider abortion of a fetus to be murder and a sin.

To be blunt, since you’re not supposed to abort your babies, use the pill, get your tubes tied, or use any fetus-killing birth control, you need to be really aware of the commitment you’re making by being married in the Catholic faith.  🙂

We haven’t had to have any one-on-one talks with our priest yet, and I’m not sure if we will.  Maybe some dioceses are different?

Post # 16
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I know exactly what you mean! The first meeting that we had with our priest he asked us if we were sexually intimate with one another. It was SO uncomfortable! Especially because he made us explain exactly just how sexually intimate we currently were. That was the only time we had to talk about it with him, but I’m with you – totally don’t think that it is anyone’s business besides our own. The next time we had to talk about it was when we had to take the compatibility test thing and then go discuss the results with the counselor. That was highly uncomfortable. I’m a non-Catholic as well and hubby is one, which is why we got married there, but he was very much with me on thinking it was obnoxious that we are forced to discuss that with others. It isn’t because we are ashamed to discuss it (I’ve been told before that that must be the reason we have an issue with it), rather it is because I don’t want to be talking to any total stranger about my sex life and on top of that listen to their judgements on how we choose to live our lives. I did the same thing mostly, just tuned it out and did a lot of smiling and nodding.

The other thing I hated discussing with them was birth control. Once I told them I had endo and really couldn’t handle being off of bc they pretty much steered clear of it. Although one did tell me that I just haven’t looked into it enough and that there has to be another way. Pretty much wanted to slap her right then and there – it’s like umm hello I’m the one that deals with it on a daily basis, why wouldn’t I have looked at all possible ways of treating it? It’s either bc or being stuck in bed all day, so they just needed to deal and get over it that I was a BC usin’, sex havin’ woman.

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