(Closed) Talking to BF about rings

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

The only way you can know is to ask. After two years you should be able to discuss timelines and what each of you want out of life and roughly when. If you can imagine saying yes, you should be able to talk about it.  Make sure to clarify what “soon” means because many people have different definitions. 

For some guys, this means it could be coming “soon” (ie a month) or “soon” (ie six months) or “soon” (ie a year) or “soon” (ie he’s just saying this to shut you up). 

Post # 3
Member
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s awkward to talk about it in person so I’m going to do it through text. Thoughts?

I really think you need to talk about this in person! These talks can be stressful/intimidating, but he’s the one that initiated the text about the rings, so I really doubt you’re gonna get a negative response! Just say to him “hey babe, I don’t need specifics, but I’m just kinda wondering roughtly what timeline you have in mind for proposing? Can you tell me for example if you’re thinking it would happen within 6 months? a year?” And go from there. But all signs point to he wants to marry you and is thinking about it concretely, so don’t stress too much! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

This is definitely an important enough topic that it merits face-to-face conversation. I highly recommend doing that, and not leaving this to text messages! That way, you can also gauge his reactions right away, and get a vibe for whether you’re on the same page or not.

For me and my Fiance, I brought it up when we went out to dinner, so we had lots of time to discuss it. We had been browsing rings together on Pinterest/online and he knew what I liked at that time, and we’d casually been talking about marriage. I mentioned that it would be nice to be engaged within the year, as we had been looking at buying a house as well, and I wanted engagement to be in the near future with that type of financial commitment. He agreed and it turned out our timelines matched up!

Post # 5
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

If you want to get married, you HAVE to be able to talk about this in person.

If you think talking about marriage/rings is awkward, what are you going to do when more serious topics arise (e.g. illness, financial issues, etc…)?

Pick a time when you are both relaxed, and just talk to him.

Post # 6
Member
5013 posts
Bee Keeper

Sorry, but if you can’t talk about it in person because it’s “too awkward” then it’s probably a good indicator you aren’t ready for this step in the first place.

Just ask.  Maybe he’s ready now.  Maybe he just wanted to get an idea of what you like now so he knows how much to save and it will take him a year to do that.  Won’t know until you ask.  This is your future.  Talk about it, have a say in it, and get on the same page.

Post # 8
Member
5013 posts
Bee Keeper

Well, sometimes life is hard.

Are you doing something to treat your mental illness?  That’s just all the more reason why the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with should be someone you are comfortable enough to broach these kinds of conversations with.

Post # 9
Member
2677 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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catlover13 :  
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annabananabee :  

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Emily Merten :  I also communicated about my ering with my fiance via text. We have no issue discussing important things and have lived together for 6 years, I think you could compare it to a kid who is well past knowing there is no Santa still writing a letter to Santa rather than telling thier parents directly what they want, it somehow preserves a bit of the magic or whatever while still getting the communication across, I totally get it.

Post # 11
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

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Emily Merten :  I think it’s  happening within the next three months! Here’s the logic that led me thinking that… 

you went shopping for rings (for fun) two weeks ago

then a week ago he texted you about the style you like… which means he’s browsing or speaking to a jeweler. 

If he goes through a private jeweler, it might take two months to make and order. Maybe it’s time to casually drop hints about your ring size – “I’m a size x just in case you were wondering!”

then not ask about the ring or mention engagement or proposal for a while. It will happen within next three months 🙂

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