Post # 1
I am SO BAD about secrets and I especially hate not telling people when I’m so excited! With all things I am the kind of person to say anything to anybody with no censor. With this though, with the BDing and the general stigma, I feel like it is weird to tell other people about TTC though. So as honestly as you are able to, tell me who you did or you would tell if you were TTC? Do you only tell if it comes up in conversation organically? Assume across the board it is none of their business? Do you take your partner’s thoughts on this into consideration and if so how much?
I get that this is a weird question, sorry dudes.
Post # 3
I’m not TTC yet, but I voted all of the above. Oops. I moreso have told certain people about our timeline because I was so excited/shocked when my Darling Husband told me when he wanted to start trying. It’s been a couple months since then and while I’ve continued to discuss it more in depth with a couple people, I’m guessing most that I told wont remember what I said. I’m pretty open, so I couldn’t hold it in! I’ve been much more vague to people who ask (like my clients) and say, “oh this year sometime.” I may regret telling anyone later, but oh well!
Post # 4
I accidentally voted wrongly. Obviously Darling Husband, myself, and the doctor would know/s. But its also come up with a few of my best friends and I’ve been pretty honest because I’m excited! They would also be the people I told before the 12 week milestone because I would want their support if we had a M/C.
However, I have only mentioned that “we’re thinking of trying this fall,” and had a conversation with another friend about how I sometimes worry it won’t happen for us. All of the nitty/gritty is totally reserved for the lovely Bees in the W2TTC/Charting/POAS threads! So I guess I should have selected that I would also talk to “strangers” about it. ; )
My family, on the other hand, HECK NO! I love them, but there is like a million of them who all live very close to one another. I might as well just tweet it to the whole world. lol. I think they all figure we’ll have babies soon since we’re moving, but I’m totally mum about it to them.
Haha, my little sister who is 9 actually asked me (excitedly) “So are you going to have babies when you move back to the US?”
Me: Someday, we’ll see.
Lil’ Sis: Like when? How many years would you say until you have a baby?
Me: You know XXX, this is ok because you’re my sister. But having and making a baby is an incredibly personal question to ask someone about. It’s really only the business of the mom, dad and God. I know babies can be really exciting, but I hope you don’t ask another friend, baby sitter, or acquaintance about this.
Lil’ Sis: Oh ok.
It was cute, but I don’t think she has realized the mechanics of how one obtains a baby in their tummy yet. ; )
Post # 5
My husband spilled the beans to virtually all his family. I wish he hadn’t (we hadn’t discussed telling beforehand); because we’ve now been TTC since November and I get asked all the time if we’re pregnant yet. It makes it even more frustrating when it doesn’t happen (funny story: we got pregnant with #1 from a onetime ‘accident’. I had no idea we’d be trying so long for #2).
Post # 6
Darling Husband and I are being fairly private about it. I discuss it here with the lovely bees and two of my closest friends know because they were TTC/are now pregnant themselves but we would never tell anyone else, especially our family members. For us it’s a pretty private thing and if we are successful we won’t be sharing that info until we’re at least 12 weeks.
I’m pretty sure everyone knows we want to start a family soon, since we’re open about our desire to have kids, but our timeline is private 🙂 As far as most know, it’s something on our radar for the next couple of years.
Post # 7
I haven’t discussed it with friends or family as I didn’t want the added pressure of them asking how it is going and if we’re pregnant yet.
My mom asks if I’m pregnant yet every once in a while but she’s just fishing!
I always suspected that it would take a while and I’ve heard that PCOS ladies have a higher chance of miscarriage so if I get a BFP, I plan on keeping that quiet for a good while.
That’s why the Bee is so great!
Post # 8
My initial plan was TELL NO ONE, LIE MY ASS OFF. But that is slowly going out the window which I am not thrilled about. The 1 person I broke down and told was a best friend because she confided in me that same night that she was trying and didn’t want anyone to know so I felt my secret would be safe. Well.. I never thought she would get a BFP on the very first try. And she isn’t known for keeping secrets so I am afraid once she got pregnant she probably let it slip that I was trying to our other best friends. Then I got in a really weird and complicated situation at work where I had to start telling some co-workers. For whatever reason telling coworkers ended up being theraputic and less scary than I thought.
Post # 9
My initial plans was to not really tell anyone but now for a specific time my Darling Husband (obviously), my mum and my best friend know the timeline. I think most other friends guess pretty much right thou (after we get back from overseas). I have actually spoken at work to my workmates (I work in a team of 5 in my classroom plus my principal) so they know its sometime this year but not specifically (mainly because I needed their assurances that the health of my baby wouldn’t be put at risk) – I have also said that I would let them all know pretty much as soon as we do just so I can protect myself better if volatile situations arise (which can occur 1-2 times a week). It’s actually all very scary for me pre-pregnancy so I can’t imagine how I am gonna feel later…
Post # 10
It’s tough when you tell people coz then they’d be all “are you pregnant yet?” So Darling Husband and i agreed that when someone asks us, we’d say something like “it would be nice to have a baby soon but we’ll see” or since we just got married, we’d say “we’re taking it one day at a time” or something like that. No denying but not really confirming.
I have a friend who’s been married for 6 years and they’ve been trying ever since and everbody knows and it’s just al ot harder for them. We dont want that kind of pressure so we’ll try to avoid it as much as we can 🙂
Post # 11
ehhhh i dont think we will tell anyone but the doctor. Because i have a friend i know is TTC and everytime i see her i ask her if she is pregnant. I dont want that pressure or everyone wondering. Even though they propbably will anyway lol
Post # 12
I havent told anyone but my doctor, but dh cant keep his big mouth shut so im guessing a few of his friends know!!
Post # 13
I told exactly one friend, because I was excited and wanted to share, but did NOT want to open myself up to anyone and everyone commenting on it, asking if it had happened yet, giving advice, etc. I think it’s a pretty bad idea to tell everyone unelss you want to get super annoyed with constant personal questions until you get pregnant. Not that the personal questions end then, but you know what I mean.
Post # 14
Until recently, no one except the girls in my small group knew, but now that it is taking a while, I have let some of my good friends from college know so that they can pray for us. My mom knows, too, but she’s not worried since it took her a year to conceive her first child (me). I don’t talk about it with people who got PG on their first or second try because they don’t know what it’s like to wait and some people are just plain ignorant about the statistics and it’s hard to listen to them. Emotions run high when you’re TTC!
Post # 15
We made the mistake of telling everyone that “after the wedding” we would start trying. Now we get unsolicitied advise constantly! If you have the option and haven’t told anyone yet, DON’T!!!!
Post # 16
My husband, doctor and my mom knows the general timeline for when we are going to start.