Post # 1
So we are having cocktail hour from 5:30 until dinner, maybe about 1.5hrs. We are also having a receiving line with the parents but FI and I will not come down until there is some number of people (sorry I forget the number the hall suggested). Once the place gets about 1/4 full, then they will open the doors to go in.
Are my 4 bridesmaids suppose to have ‘tasks’ during this time, other than mingling with the guests? For example, someone at the seating table, someone at the gift / money box; someone for giving out favors; guest book?
If you have done this or had to do a task, please share
Post # 2
Nope. At this point their duties should be finished (unless one is giving a speech) and they should be able to be a guest and enjoy the cocktail hour/reception. 🙂
Post # 3
During cocktail hour they shouldn’t have job responsibilities — they get to be friends and guests, not employees for unnecessary tasks 🙂
Post # 4
No, they’re not employees. And your cocktail hour should be an hour!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
Their official duty is to have a drink in their hand and a smile on their face, because all the work is done. 😀
Post # 6
It’s their time to relax and socialize.
Wedding guests aren’t as stupid as they are often portrayed.
They will figure out the seating plan, guestbook, gift table etc all on their own.
Post # 7
ohhh ok thanks-
I only said 1.5hr because the will start letting people between 630-7 i think! I dont know all these smal details yet.
The last wedding I’ve attended the bridesmaid were giving out favors, which served as the seating cards.
Would that be okay if I have one or two of the BM do that. We are giving out wine as favors and I prefer not to leave them on the table for everyone to grab.
Post # 8
ummm every wedding ive been to favors are on the table to take, so i dont get what the big deal is. revise: i see your giving out wine, thats still not a BM duty. Hire day of coordinator for those lil details.
Post # 9
thelittleone: you just need to ask someone if they would mind/want to pass out favors. Is there a child or someone who might want to participate?
Post # 10
thelittleone: Like Anonymous Cupcake said. Do you have a super enthusiastic bridesmaid who would love to do it? Or a friend or someone else who you wanted to include in your wedding but couldn’t?
Post # 11
I’ve never heard of BMs having tasks. I’ve actually never heard of BMs being forced to mingle with guests either….
I think you’ll be fine leaving the wine on the tables. I think your guests should have enough restraint that they won’t walk around stealing other people’s favors.
Post # 12
bklynbridetobe: maybe I will leave them out unless they want to. Im sure people will figure that gifts go here, pickup your favor here, find your seat here, and sign our guest book.
I will ask them rather than make them. But I seen this happened so maybe its the norm where i live.
Post # 13
Or you could make signs indicating where things go. You could also wait to hand out the wine until the end of the night so you and your then DH can make sure you two got to say thank you to everyone… or leave it on table at your guests seats.
Post # 14
Asking someone to be a BM is supposed to be about honoring them for their position and support in your life. Tasking them like you are suggesting is no honor.
Have your coordinator deal with the favors and whatever. Guest books don’t need anyone to babysit them, people will know what to do.
Post # 15
Even if something is the norm where you live, it doesn’t mean it’s the best or most polite way to do things. Have you been a BM before? By the time the ceremony is over they have spent hours getting ready, standing up with you, taking pictures, etc. I promise you, even if they would be okay with doing pointless jobs, they would rather relax, have a drink, and get to have fun. If you ask, you risk them feeling obligated to say yes.