(Closed) Tasting Disaster

posted 7 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would just apologize to your dad and explain you didn’t realize before inviting them how he felt about not having them there, but you can’t now either uninvite them or invite them with the caveat that they pay. Just apologize and ask that he understand that asking them to not come or pay puts you in a tough position.

Post # 4
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Call the venue now and find out the price. If it really is out of your range, then your future in laws may have to help pay their way. Since the 6 people is part of what your dad is paying for, I guess he probably does get to say who that is going to cover. Sorry. Weddings often equal unnecessary drama. 🙁

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

to be honest i understand where you dad is coming from. yes it would be nice for you and your Fiance to have his parents there to be part of it but by trying to include everyone you are going to upset some people, in this case your dad

doesnt make your dad the bad guy btw,  there are a lot of changes happening in your life and i guess hes hoping to have some nuclear family time before the stress and you being busy gears up another level plus when discussing money and budgets, its a very private thing so i understand why he wants to keep the tasting to his own family, afterall hes hosting it

Post # 6
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Did Fiance already invite his parents?

If I were in your shoes, I’d tell Fiance to un-invite his parents.  Do you think they’d be understanding about it?

Post # 8
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Are your FIs parents paying for anything related to the wedding?  If not, is it because they can’t afford to contribute?

If it were me, I would feel bad inviting one set of parents and not the other.  But then again, if it were me, I would prefer to have only me and my Fiance at the tasting.  Is this an option?  I know your parents are paying for your reception, but have they expressed the need to be involved in all of the decision-making, or are they giving you a lump sum of money to spend however you please?

Also, if it’s just a matter of not wanting to discuss the prices, can you go to the tasting and take notes, and then discuss the option with your parents at a later time?

Post # 10
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree with your Dad. Why doesn’t your Fiance feel bad that your parents are paying for everything, and at the same time doesn’t want to burden his own to pay for a tasting? That’s the part that would bother me the most!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i think your father has a valid point and since they are paying for it, i really think you should just honor their wishes. your FH’s parents should be understanding, maybe the caterer can pack you a to-go package of your top picks and then you can take them over to FIL’s to share afterwards. there’s no need to make it a bigger deal than it has to be, it’s really your parents’ call who should be there and you can just explain to FIL’s that there was a miscommunication, but you can bring them by a “sneak peak”. :]

Post # 12
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m surprised they are allowing 6 people. The “more chefs in the kitchen” type of thing at tastings makes it harder for you and your Fiance to pick what you really want. Your dad seems upset about this, what he’s asking for is not unreasonable, as its financial discussion involved too and if he has FI’s family wanting things he can’t afford, it will be even more awkward. I would talk to FI’s family and just say your mom, dad, sister and Maid/Matron of Honor will be there and the limit is 6 so if they want to come its a cost. I think they will be very understanding as your family is paying and your sister needs to go as well.  

Post # 14
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

After reading your response, I think I agree with your dad.  It sucks to have to uninvite your FI’s parents, but maybe think of something else they can be involved in instead.  Maybe only his parents can help with flower ideas or cake tasting or some other aspect of the wedding (I know both flowers and cake may fall under the portion that your parents are paying for, so this might not be an option).

I would nicely uninvite FI’s parents, invite them to come over some night for dinner, and discuss other wedding things that they are interested in. 

Post # 15
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I honestly think my dad just thinks that the decision should be between myself, Fiance and them, and not anyone else

as your dad is paying for the wedding i tend to agree – im mean where else would you pay for an event of any kind and expect invited guests (which your FI’s parents are) to have a say in the matter.   money and weddings can be very private thing plus you mentioned your Future Mother-In-Law is a passive aggressive so even more reason for him not to want them there

Post # 16
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Sunshine1810: can you just tell FI’s parents it’s not covered?  Would that help them be more understanding about it? 

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