Post # 1
I know some people have very strong opinions on tattoos showing on your wedding day. I am personally not one of them, but my Mother and Future Mother-In-Law are. For my Christmas present I and my fiance booked an appointment with a tattoo artist for my quarter sleeve. I’ve been wanting a major tattoo for a while, and have known what I wanted for a few years. A big squid. I love squid. They are pretty, mysterious and yummy to boot. I was a biology major in college (before I dropped out) and even when I was a little girl I loved the ocean and all it’s inhabitants. So there is meaning behind my beautiful cephalopod show piece.
Unfortunately, my parents and my Future Mother-In-Law are very vocal on me waiting until after the wedding to do it, which is basically a whole year. Not only do I not want to wait, I feel cheated out of a christmas present if I don’t do it. I already have other smaller tattoos that would be visable (much to their dismay) on the wedding day, and I don’t plan on hiding those, but I don’t want to hear about it either, if you know what I mean.
Should I respect them and wait, or should I do what I want (and every younger person seems to want me to do)? Would I regret seeing it in the photos later on?
Post # 3
If you want it get it, just make sure 100% it is what YOU and your Fiance want to see in your pics etc.
I myself would not get another visible tattoo before my wedding BUT that is because I am not sure what i want to get or if I really want to get another at the moment and I will not do it again til I am 100% 🙂
Post # 4
Your body. Your wedding.
If you know 100% it’s what you want, I see no reason to wait.
Post # 5
I actually just signed up to reply here, cause I felt quite strongly about your post!
(Mostly been lurking wedding bee for the long term relationship advice this place can offer :))
Natasliha, as previous posters have said, it’s your body and it’s your wedding. I’m getting to the point where I have about one fifth skin coverage in ink now, and I love the art on my skin. If you’ve been looking forward to your squid for a long time, do it! The only downside I can imagine to having it before the wedding is the possibility of it not being finished by the time the wedding comes around – unfinished tattoos always look very obviously…’not quite right’ to me. If it takes a while to find a good artist/or it’s not going to be finished by the wedding…I would wait, then.
I genuinely don’t understand people who hide their tattoos for their wedding day – surely they’re decorative and a part of who you are? Or are there a *lot* of people out there with bad/rude ones from when they were 18?
Clearly your squid is meaningful, and you want it very much. I think the best way to make sure the parents don’t behave badly on the day is to be very open about it from now on. Just be clear ‘I’m doing this. It’s your son’s present to me, and I cannot *wait*. Oh, and the wedding is going to be awesome!’
If you get it, and there really is a huge issue (I hope there isn’t, for your sake) I wonder if a good middle ground would be to have an attractive shrug with you? Something you can take on and off?
Post # 6
It’s your wedding! I’m getting similar opinions from family members but if I wanted to cover up my tattoos I wouldnt have got them! Get it and tell them to deal with it. Its your day!!
Post # 7
you’re going to have that tattoo for the rest of your life – are you sure you want to look at your wedding pictures WITHOUT it??
go get it done! 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks guys. I already have it booked with a great artist (the end of February was the earliest opening he had). I’ve considered a cute little capelet to wear during the ceremony and I’ll probably make a whole other post on capelet ‘porn’. The idea for covering up my shoulders doesn’t just stem from the whole tattoo bit, I’m a little heavy and have already heard my mom voice her opinion on brides with the whole fat arm clevage thing, and the wedding is in October, so I actually might need something warm. I don’t think I want to wait, and having made the appointment a while ago and paid on the art already, I think I should just go ahead and do it.
It’s just hard to know if I’ll be happy with how it looks in a gown. Oh god, my Future Mother-In-Law has gotten in my head!
Post # 9
Its your wedding, just think about your pictures. I know for me, I’m getting mine re-done before the wedding so they are more intense in color since they are old. But again mine aren’t very big, I would love a quarter sleeve but i wasn’t planning on getting it until after the wedding.
Post # 10
As PP said, your body, your wedding! Don’t let others (even your loved ones) redefine what makes YOU feel beautiful…..that goes for “fat arms” and capelets too! We are so hard on ourselves, and it would be really lovely to feel beautiful on your wedding day without the criticism of others, even if it’s well meaning. I think you’ll rock your squid and should have a bunch of photos posed to show it off too!
Post # 11
I have a huge tattoo on my back that I love. I got it a few years ago when I was still single. The first thing my mother said when she found out was “What about your wedding????” She hates it. She has been quite vocal about it and I ignore her. My dress is strapless and it will be showing for the wedding. But now that I am just a few weeks away from the big day, I feel like I should give in a little to my mother who has done so much to make my wedding come together (including funding the entire event). I am CONSIDERING airbrush makeup. I will have my makeup trial in a few weeks and will try it out. If the airbrush coverup looks bad I will not do it for the wedding, but it is something to consider, just to keep the peace. I love my tat and love showing it off. It is part of who I am. But I love my mother more.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.
Normally I would say respect the wishes of your family members since you will have the rest of your life post-wedding to enjoy your art. However, @treacle is right, it will be a part of you in every photo after the wedding, why not the wedding too? I do think if you have a capelet or something so there will be a few photos for your mom or Mother-In-Law that don’t show it, that should more than suffice.
Best of luck and please share pictures once its done! (I think squid are really cool too!)
Post # 13
Your body, your decision, your wedding. I say go for what it is that you want. They need to respect the fact that not everyone has the same ideal/opinions as they do. I have a HUGE tattoo and my parents HATE tattoos but they still respect the fact that it was MY decision. Good luck whatever your decision!
Post # 14
Get it done! A year is a long time to wait for something you want right now.
But for the sake of the guests, cover it with makeup… just for the wedding ceremony, then maybe you can wash off the makeup for the reception! Then everyone will be able to have a picture they can proudly hang in their homes, tattoo or not.
Post # 15
I sometimes get a little worked up by this topic being someone who is considered by some to be heavily tattooed. I have my neck, 2 full sleeves, my whole back, my hips, one thigh, and my feet done. To me this is not alot because many of my friends are fully covered, but I know to most people this is rather extensive. My fiancee is a tattoo artist and has far more than myself. I would not allow anyone else to dictate how I should look on my wedding day or any other and I don’t think you should either. Also, the last thing you want to do is set a precedent that your inlaws can bully you into whatever preconceived notion they have about what a woman should be.
Now, that being said, I myself plan to wear opera length gloves and a stole to (somewhat) cover my tattoos for my ceremony (I’m doing a vintage hollywood thing). This is not because I am ashamed of who I am in any way, but simply because I love that era and want a glamourous, elegant look. I want people see me walk down the aisle and think of Rita Hayworth, not Kat Von D. Then during the reception party the colors can come out 🙂
I’m sure that there are situations where is would be appropriate to airbrush out a tattoo- perhaps an ex’s name or a trashy college mistake, but in those situations I’d say go whole-hog and just get the thing lasered off. If you are a collector of art or meaningful images than that is part of who you are. Be aware though that when you have large visable tattoos many people will see it as entirely who you are and can get very offended by it. I’ve had people ask if I’m in the circus, tell me it’s a “shame such a pretty girl would ruin herself”, or look me straight in the face and say that i’ve desecrated God’s creation. These opinions may be meaningless to you, but you need to accept that you may hear them frequently. Women tend to get far more averse reaction than men, but strong woman become so by forging their own path. So there’s my 2 cents….or probably a good dollar’s worth.
Post # 16
I think the decision to cover your tattoos is an extremely personal one for your wedding day and only you can make that best judgement. I wouldn’t mind one bit if my tattoos (I have 3 large back ones) showed up in my wedding pictures, but I also do not want the focus of my guests, many of which who are elderly and pretty much all of which have never seen my tattoos [and aren’t the tattooing kind], to focus on THAT on a day that’s not supposed to be about that. I made the decision when i got them that the only day I would cover them with makeup would be my wedding day.
I actually pissed when people who tell me that I shouldn’t cover them up if I’m happy about my tattoos. It’s not an etiquette issue to me, it’s more of a “I don’t want to deal with other people talking only about that for the rest of my life” type of thing. I may love my tattoos but other people are judgemental to tattooed girls (especially) and I don’t want to deal with it.