(Closed) TATTOOS: IS SPOUSAL APPROVAL NECESSARY??

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 33
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is he worried about the design or more so the placement?

That’s weird what he said about his family because like you have said you already hav visible tattoos and their son has tons already too…Maybe he thinks it would be too much…like does he have a limit on how many tattoos are “good enough” maybe?

I would sketch him a design and show him what it is you are looking to get. If it is truly that MEANINGFUL to you he should support it. If not then the call is up to you. But I think giving him some idea will ease his mind and perhaps even like it.

My Fiance and I have no tattoos the Fiance came to me a couple months ago of and idea of the word “relentless” and I was like you can get it but personally I want something meaningful and creative to my own style if it was permanent. I would be getting some if it wasn’t the fact that I’m afraid of needles :X I wouldn;t be mad or upset if he did i- I’d be happy if it makes him happy. I was just expressing my opinion on tattoo design. SO maybe he is just worried about design?

Post # 35
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Lana_Rose:  Possible – it was just a thought. It might have been a “someday maybe” in his mind and then “oh shit she really is going to.”

Post # 36
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I have the exact same problem! I have tattoos all over, a full sleeve even, both feet, etc. Thats the way it was when I met DH. Last year I made an appointment to get a largish piece on my thigh. He was so unhappy!! I didn’t go through with it in the end, but I’m still confused. Like…whats the problem? 

I am getting a small tattoo in the next few weeks, and he just ignores me when I tell him. 

It is really aggravating, and being as I love tattoos, it makes me upset. But I don’t want to do anything he will be grossed out by :/

Post # 38
Member
2909 posts
Sugar bee

@Lana_Rose:  My opinion: In most cases, NO, his approval is not necessary. (In your case, it’s not even his approval, it’s his worry about his family’s approval, and you DEFINITELY don’t need theirs!) There are some cases when I think what you would do to your body would not REQUIRE his approval, but when his opinion should matter more than others, but this example is not one of them. I’m thinking of things like tattooing your entire face, getting HUGE breast implants that could damage your back by the sheer weight of them, really extreme stuff like that. And even in those cases I think his feelings on the matter should be considered, not that he should have the final say. YOUR body. YOUR decision.

Post # 40
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My husband said this, “You have the right to do it, I have the right to be upset about it.” 

Sounds fair to me I guess lol.

Post # 41
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Lana_Rose:  I personally wouldn’t alter my body in a way my husband objected to or found distasteful. Yes, you are your own person and can make your own decisions. You just need to decide if it is worth a rift and unhappy husband. For me, MrPanda99 is my life partner and his opinion is the one that counts. 

Post # 44
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
@Lana_Rose:  I personally find tattoos ugly. I am not trying to offend you, but I just don’t like the look. However, I’d never date someone with as many as you have so he knew what he was getting into so to speak. If he knows it is part of you, then yes he should support it. There are lots of things people should do though – doesn’t mean they will. 

For me, it isn’t worth fighting about but if it is for you then that’s what you should do. Maybe he just doesn’t like it will be visible or he has outgrown the tattoo phase. I have no idea but that is something for you two to discuss. 

Post # 45
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Lana_Rose:  Yes, I do think it is necessary out of respect. I would want the same kind of respect back. Sure it is your body, but it does affect him still, too.  A tattoo on the arm is quite different from tattooed chest.  It just is. I say work it out together, like it seems you are doing based on your ETA.  But I also would try not to do anything that my husband wasn’t 100% on board with.  Just my 2 cents.  If it causes dissension with your husband, then it may not be worth it.

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