(Closed) TATTOOS: IS SPOUSAL APPROVAL NECESSARY??

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 62
Member
2807 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

nope, not for us. my body, my skin, my choice. same goes for him- his body, his skin, his choice. unless he’s going into our savings account to pay, or vice versa, it doesn’t matter.

Post # 63
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It seems like you need to find out exactly what’s bothering him.  Is it just the fam or is he using them as a scapegoat? I think you should get an honest answer out of him.  Just becasue he’s cool with tattoos on some places dosn’t mean he’s cool with them in all places.

I think how you look to your Fiance and how he finds you attractive matters a lot.  If he thinks he’ll find you less attractive with it, this is huge IMO.  Yes you have to love the person on the inside but you also have to look at that person on the outside, all the time.

Post # 66
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@Lana_Rose:  Ok I know nothing about tattoos, but can’t you get a semi-permanent one to try it out for a while?  Maybe this is stupid, but I would imagine that if you were getting something so prominently and I imagine large that you’d want to see yourself in it before doing it. 

Post # 68
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@Lana_Rose:  I can imagine you wouldn’t like that at all! But like with hena or something done well.

Post # 69
Member
3066 posts
Sugar bee

@Lana_Rose:  It would matter to me if my DH was against my tattoo BUT only if he had a legitimate reason not because he is scared of what his family will think.

Post # 71
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly, I think I would go with it if his only reservations are that his parents are conservative and may not like it. How often do you see them? I’m guessing it’s probably not every single day of your life, but you will be seeing it everyday of your life, so if you like it, why not? I’m not even a tattoo person myself, but I can’t see any reason why you shouldn’t especially since your husband knows that you have wanted one for a long time. It would be different, if say I went out and got one without telling my SO because he is so against tattoos and it would really upset him, and like you said his opinion is the only one that matters to me really. As long as you’re using your own money then I don’t see why it would be a big deal. 

Post # 73
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@Lana_Rose:  Yes, it may be something that’s hard for them at first, but they will get used to it over time. You could also wear clothes to cover it up if it really became a problem.

Post # 74
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think the only thing that might be an issue with this is… say he never fully approves of you getting the chest piece. You guys fight about it, and eventually just come to the “It’s my body, I will do what I want” conclusion. He is more or less ok with it, but realizes it IS your body and decision, so he keeps his mouth shut. But then… every time you see the tattoo, or he sees it, which with a chest piece will be often, it is a pretty permanent reminder of a fight you had, to a “relationship” that meant more to you than your relationship with your husband. If it were me, I wouldn’t want a permanent reminder of an unreconciled fight. But that’s really the only thing i can forsee being an issue with essentially telling him that you care more about a tattoo than about him. I’m not judging you or anything… I completely agree that he knew what he was signing up for! But I also have a tattoo and would like to get another, but DH doesn’t want me to, and so I won’t. It also lies largely on the fact that his family wouldn’t be very thrilled about it. BUT all that being said, it IS your body and decision, and I think you shouldn’t rush into the decision but work on having both of you be on the same page. I think getting a sharpie “tattoo” similar to what you want in size and location would be very helpful, and then he will probably come around 🙂 Best of luck!! Hope he can get onboard so you can get your new art and you can BOTH enjoy it.

Post # 75
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

All I can really say is how I feel about tattoos in my marriage.

Both of us came into the marriage tattoo free & I was pretty clear that I don’t really like the idea of them on either of us (he agree’d, but it was more me who was disapproving).

So, if I wanted a tattoo tomorow, I would never do it without speaking to him and getting his approval, and I would hope he would do the same.

To me, my body also belongs to him and vice versa. Obviously there are boundaries to that kind of thinking, but I wouldn’t be comfortable putting something permenant on my body without getting my husband’s approval.

Post # 76
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@Lana_Rose:  Stupid as this might sound men often hold wives to different standards than girlfriends. As a girlfriend things like kids and houses and futures aren’t on the top of their list of things to think about  but when you become a wife they move up the list. Is it possible he has decided he doesn’t want anymoe and he’s rather you don’t as well. He may be thinking in terms of very visible, when you have kids how will other parents and children react etc. I recognise that it is none of anyone elses business but unfortunately people judge and if parents say something in front of their kids it can end up that kids take a lot for it. I haven’t seen this with tattoos but I have seen it happen with some other things.

Again not saying it is right but if he has concerns over what others think could this not maybe a reason?

The topic ‘TATTOOS: IS SPOUSAL APPROVAL NECESSARY??’ is closed to new replies.

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