@Lana_Rose: I am really going to try hard to stick to the question at hand, which is “How much of a say should your spouse get when it comes to tattoos, specifically, your DH?”. I am going to try and steer clear of any assumptions one could make about his intentions/reasons for being against the chest tattoo, but I will take in to account that both you and he have tattoos, as really, it doesn’t change my opinion on the matter.
When it is boiled down to the bare minimum, yes, I feel like your spouse has a say in what you do with your body, as I believe that part of getting married, is making choices together. There are little choices, and there are big choices, and I think a perminent change to your body is a big choice, regardless of if you’ve already gotten tattoos or not. You are making a change to your body, that much is certain, and I think that you should listen to your spouse’s opinions and legitimately consider them when it comes to tattoos. I feel that everyone is allowed to feel the way they feel, and I don’t think your Darling Husband should have to support your tattoo simply because you want one. He is within is right to object (again, not getting in to his reasons), and you are within your right to make the ultimate desicion on which option is more important to you. Respecting your DH’s opinion or respecting your desire to get another tattoo, and this is something I can’t tell you which one I suggest more, as I am not fully aware of what is going on in your DH’s mind, or where his true intentions are coming from. Neither can you, so you can only go off of what he has told. Try not to read in to what he really means.
Ultimately, what you do with your body is your choice, because if you just did everything your spouse wanted, then your spouse would have all the say, and if you just do whatever you want to do, then your spouse doesn’t have a say. Having a say doesn’t mean having it your WAY. It is simply a say. Darling Husband gets a say in what I buy for dinner, but I’m the one shopping and cooking, so ultimately I decide. Sometimes his “say” is the “way” and sometimes my “say” is the “way”. It is all about finding a balance and doing what you feel is best for you AND your relationship. Dinner is really unimportant when you look at it, but a tattoo on the other hand, is something some people consider very important. I think it is a matter of respect by giving your spouse a say in what happens with your body, as I respect the opinion of my Darling Husband more than the opinion of anyone else.
If it were me, and I were exactly like you (tattoos, desire, etc.) I would postpone the tattoo, I can always get it later. I would take a picture of the tattoo I wanted and put it on the mirror where Darling Husband and I see it everyday, but I would agree to NOT talk about the tattoo for x-amount of time (for me personally, I would say a month). Then after the month, I would have the discussion again. I would re-evalutate how I feel about the tattoo and how Darling Husband feels about the tattoo. I would listen to what he has to say, and I would make my final decision based on how I felt about the situation. Do my desires outweigh any concerns/objections that Darling Husband has? Am I willing to work through any rough times that my decision might cause? For me, I value DH’s feelings as much as I value mine, but ultimately I would have to make a choice, and honestly, no one can make that CHOICE expect you.
So yes, I believe your spouse has a say in if you get a tattoo, but with that said, I do not feel like one person gets to dictate what the other does with his or her body. BOTH people get a say. How much of a say is dependent upon many factors within the relationship and the feelings of each individual.
Hopefully I’ve kept to your original request and purpose for this thread! “this post is strictly on how much of a say my Darling Husband should have with what I do to my body within the realm of tattooing.” Sorry if I got off on a tangent anywhere!