Post # 1
I’m not TTC but Darling Husband and I do talk about it quite often just to check in with one another. Naturally this leads to us thinking about details of pregnancy, birth and child-rearing.
I’d want to be Team Green (not find out the gender until birth) for a variety of reasons. Darling Husband would be on board with this. We ideally wouldn’t want people to buy the baby gender-biased clothes and toys and generally I love the idea of only finding out when little one is born.
So my question is: is this realistic? Obviously if we changed our minds about wanting to find out the gender at some point during pregnancy then that’s fine. But what about the scans and any tells from the nurse/doctor? Is it possible to get a scan and not be able to tell the sex? I know this can be difficult to determine anyway but then again, I’ve heard about the nub theory and obviously I’d want to look at the scan pictures/recordings. Is there anything that can be done to shield you both from knowing the sex? Any thoughts and ideas welcome! Thank you bees 🙂
Post # 2
It is definitely realistic. I’m not team green but my friend was, they just told her to look away at certain portions of the ultrasounds. Her husband tried to sneak a peek once or twice but he couldn’t tell even when he looked haha.
Post # 3
I’m not team green, but I am pregnant, so I can give you some insight. It’s totally possible to be team green. When it comes to scans, tbh it’s tough to know what you’re looking at a lot of the time. And hell, techs get it wrong too…so while you may think you see or don’t see something, you never really know. We’re having a boy, and I don’t think I could pick out his junk in a single photo or scan. The one time I thought I saw it turned out to be the chord.
Also, depending on where you live they won’t tell you at scans. They don’t in Canada unless it’s a 3d one (that you pay for), they send the info to your Dr, who then tells you if you want to know. My MW put stickers on our report everywhere it said “he” before letting us read it in case we didn’t want to know.
If your main objection is around getting everything gendered you can always find out and then either wait to tell at your shower, or keep it to yourself. ..
Post # 4
We were team green! Whenever I had an ultrasound I just let them know we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby. All the photos I have from my scans the baby is in a position where nothing would be given away. We were really excited for the surprise at birth that neither of us tried to sneak a peek 🙂
Post # 5
howdoyoudo: Not pregnant, but I swear I don’t even see a baby-shaped figure in ultrasound photos, so there is no way I’d be able to tell if they were a girl or boy!
My question is what happens when the baby only has green or yellow or purple clothes and stuff? Do you buy girl or boy clothes after they are born or does you baby live in green/yellow/purple clothes for the first part of it’s life? Do strangers constantly ask if it’s a boy or girl? (I mean, my friends kid had a PINK BOW on and so many people asked if it was a girl or boy…SHE’s IN PINK AND A BOW! What do you think?!)
Post # 6
I’m not pregnant either, but neither of us would want to find out for the same reason. I feel like they have their whole life to experience gender bias and I’d hate to start my child’s life off that way. I feel like there’s no way I’d be able to tell from the ultrasound photos. And anyway, it’ll still be somewhat of a surprise and the people who give gifts will have no idea.
Post # 7
cooperlove: I’d just tell them the answer. I mean like you said, even with a bow people still wonder so it doesn’t make a difference. Personally I don’t get why people care so much about the sex of a baby. I think normally it’s just used as a conversation starter. So I’d just answer the question, and not be at all offended if people thought my girl was a boy and vice versa. I’d be happier with people being confused than giving into the pressure to only let my kid wear their gender assigned color.
Lol I totally agree, I probably couldn’t tell a dog ultrasound from a person’s!
Post # 8
I think it is realistic just tell them before they start that you don’t want to find out so they can hide the monitor or something. I only saw the girl parts on the anatomy scan because they said it was time for that. But I did see girl parts at a 16w scan and I noticed it before the tech. It was supposed to be a 12w scan but I was too far along for it so the tech said she would just “look around” and I definitely noticed girl parts. Tech wouldn’t confirm it 100% but it looked like a girl.
I think the team green is nice only so you don’t get a bunch of clothing at the shower and get more practical stuff. I put my Dear Daughter in dresses but it’s nice to buy what you like instead of some hideous dress someone else picked out. I exchanged lots of clothes for gift cards just because I didn’t like them. Baby toys are already pretty neutral for the most part.
Post # 9
Currently team green and 33 weeks pregnant. At 20 week anatomy our scan (opted out the 12 week nuchal tube scan) the technician just had us look away during certain parts. And they didn’t put the gender in the report to our midwives, so no way to find out now! While some weeks I am super anxious and totally ready to find out, I am really enjoying not knowing and guessing and dreaming about it. Can’t wait for that moment post-birth when we know for the first time!
And avoiding the really girly or boy specific clothes and items was a huge incentive for us as well. Our first shower is in two weeks, so hard to say whether it worked, but I’m hoping for more practical gifts (sorry if that makes me sound totally gift-grabby).
Post # 10
wanted to add: A lot of people say to me “but don’t you want to plan?! How can you not know, I’d die an would want to prepare ahead of time”
A baby is a baby. We have lots of cute “gender neutral” clothing, our nursery is cute and gender neutral and pretty much all gear is cute and gender neutral. We are planning on having more than one kid, so this will help with the reusability afterwards as well.
Post # 11
cooperlove: my friends get pissed off when strangers will complement them on their super girly dressed baby girl and say “what a cute boy”
I like to think I won’t care and just say, “Thanks”. Baby won’t care, and it’s a stranger…it’s not like it really matters! Or I’ll just say “Thanks, I think she is really cute too!”
And I anticpate the baby being in mostly sleepers and onsies for the first little while…no scratchy uncomfotable flouncy dresses hear. Cotton and fleece all the way. And they grow so quick, so soon enough I’m sure I’ll want to get out and go shopping and pick out clothing I want once the baby is here. This way we can choose outfits we like that fit our style our needs or the baby’s size.
Post # 12
howdoyoudo: We are also not TTC but planning on being team green! We want Darling Husband to announce it to me, and then to any waiting family members, at the birth. It’s just so exciting! And for us it’s more practical to get gender neutral things since we plan on more than one child.
Darling Husband and I had already agreed to be team green over a year ago, but I went to a baby shower last month that really sealed the deal for us – there were about 30+ people there for my friend and her husband’s first baby, she has a 9 year old daughter from a previous relationship and he has no other children. They’re having (had actually, last week! Lol) a little boy and my mom and I were literally the only people who bought off of the registry. Everyone else bought them baby clothes…like clothes are nice buuuut what is the point of a registry if people are just going to ignore it?? They registered for a reason, the stuff on the registry is the stuff they actually need…a baby mat or bath tub is more important than 40+ outfits that he’ll probably grow out of before wearing it more than once. My friend and her husband actually came up to me and my mom after the gift opening and thanked us for going off of the registry lol.
Post # 13
I hope to be Team Green when we have children! My mom was for both my sister and I. She always says, “There are few surprises in life – may as well enjoy the most exciting surprise of all!” And I agree 🙂
Except I will call it Team Yellow – because that’s my favourite colour and I want to have a sunny, happy yellow nursery for my future little ones!
Post # 14
My team green baby is 2 weeks old and it was the best experience ever not knowing! At the ultrasounds and OB visits we would just say we aren’t finding out the sex. The ultrasound tech didn’t even look and on our report under genitalia it said “deferred exam per patient request” so it was nowhere in our record for someone to accidentally let slip. Not knowing the sex also made for most of our registry being purchased as people couldnt buy us a whole bunch of clothes. Now that we have had our boy people are buying us a bunch of cute boy clothes. I thought it was amazing not knowing – people seemed more excited about the pregnancy and would give their predictions. I loved pulling him out and yelling it’s a boy!!!
Post # 15
howdoyoudo: we are team green. i am currently 29 weeks. at our anatomy scan (20weeks), when the tech looked at the legs and sex parts, we turned our heads. turned out baby wasn’t cooperating anyway, keeping its legs tight together so the tech doesn’t even know. as of now, not a soul in the world what our baby’s sex is going to be.
we haven’t had an ultrasound since. i have one at 30 weeks and we will let the tech know to tell us to turn our heads if they need to look at the baby’s genitals.
honestly, so far it has been easy to not find out.