Post # 1
I really really really want to be team green (not find out the gender) – for all the usual reasons. Fiance really really really wants to find out. He said it’s fine if I don’t want to know, but he will find out and just not tell me. I can’t imagine how that would work. I would think he would slip up or I won’t be able to handle him knowing but not me. (I would surely cave.) I want both of us to be surprised. I would be ok finding out the gender for future babies if that is the case, I just want the first one to be a surprise!
(Also – this is all hypothetical, we won’t ttc for a few years!)
Is or has anyone been in this situation? How did it work, or did one person change? Is there a compromise that could or has worked? Thanks!
Post # 3
I’m wondering this, too. Darling Husband and I aren’t TTC for several years. I want to be team green. He wants to find out. Hopefully I can try to persuade him to be team green for #1, and if we have a #2, we can find out? Ha!
Post # 4
We are TTC and this is us exactly, right down to him saying he will find out and not tell me. I already vetoed that. He also says he will just slip the ultrasound tech a $20 to get him to tell when I’m not there, sweet, right?
I don’t know exactly how it will work, but I do feel like, if I have carry the baby, avoid alcohol and delicious cheeses and deli meats, have all the strain on my body, I get this one thing. Perhaps if I have bad morning sickness and stuff he’ll feel bad for me and give in.
Post # 5
@foodnerd81: NO CHEESE??? That’s it, I’m not ever getting pregnant.
Seriously though, I guess “I’m carrying the baby” is a pretty big bargining chip.
Post # 6
@Crabbabs: No unpasteurized or raw cheeses. Not no cheese at all, thank god 🙂
Post # 7
@foodnerd81: Oh ok. That’s a bit better. But still…
Post # 8
Actually, funny you posted this 🙂 A coworker of mine and his wife just had their first. HE didn’t want to know (team green) and she was dying to know! He said that they would go to their ultrasound and just see. He thought maybe curiousity would get the best of him. The ultrasound tech asked her if they wanted to know, and she said yes… and then the tech asked her husband and he said he didn’t.. and she refused to tell them! Said “well, unless you two are on the same page, you aren’t finding out from me!”. LOL.
She was totally fine with being team green in the end, and they had a baby girl about a month ago. She said she wouldn’t trade the excitment and anticipation of not knowing for the world now.
Luckily for me, Darling Husband and I are TTC and both very ademently team green. 🙂 🙂
Post # 9
I’ll be 8 weeks tomorrow and I am not team green LOL. I don’t have a preference one way or another though. My Darling Husband would like the novelty of being team green, but since I’m the one that actually, you know, has to have the baby, it’s my choice at our house LOL.
Post # 10
We’re opposite I that I’m totally anal retentive and the thought of not knowing makes me break out in a cold swear (kidding… mostly) but he doesnt want to know. I’d say I’d just find out and not tell him but it would be way obvious if I’m buying dresses and painting the nursery pink or something… not sure how it’ll work out in the end..in theory not knowing sounds very sweet so maybe ill caVe.
Post # 11
@Crabbabs: My hubby and I disagree about team green. He suuuuper wants to know (someday when I am pregnant) but I don’t. I dunno, he usually lets me make those kinds of calls.
Post # 12
When we start TTC, We’ll be team green =)
He was kind of against it for a little bit, until I explained my reasoning.
Post # 13
I was set on not knowing and my husband really wanted to know. He also proposed finding out and just not telling me. Um, no. I did pull the “Wow, that drink looks good, too bad I can’t have one… and too bad I have to gain all this weight… and too bad I have to PUSH A BABY OUT OF MY BODY” card. He gave in after that.
What’s that phrase? “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” That applies to pregnancy too.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
We disagreed at the beginning. I wanted to be Team Green (since we had no other surprises with this pregnancy – it was an IVF one after all!) and I assumed he’d be the same. Hubby’s first question after our BFP: When can we find out the gender?! 😉
We compromised though. He has been such a rock star support system through this whole TTC journey, that this is the ONE thing he’s asked to know – so I’m cool with knowing now. If we are lucky enough to have a future pregnancy, I will see about holding off. 🙂