Post # 1
My whole life I’ve thought I would be Team Green. Now there’s a bean in there and I’m waffling. Darling Husband really wants to find out. He says it’s up to me, but he’s on board to find out. He thinks it’s crazy that I want to wait when there’s a blood test we can take (for free) at 10 weeks.
My thoughts on why it’s ok to wait:
Decorating: I’m a fan of neutral colors, so it’s not like we’ll be painting the nursery bright pink or blue.
Clothing: I don’t like all the tutus and pink sparkly stuff, so I’m ok registering for neutral items and I’m sure our moms and other family will start sending gender-specific clothes once the baby’s here. Plus, neutral clothes (and gender-neutral baby items) can easily be used again for future babies.
Names: If it’s a boy, it will be a third (after Father-In-Law and DH) and we’re working on a short list of girls names.
Birth: The joy and surprise of “It’s a BOY!” or “It’s a GIRL!”
What am I missing? Did you not find out the sex and regret it? Wish you’d known earlier?
Post # 2
phillybride61513: We plan on finding out. My Fiance hates surprises, and I love to be organized and prepared, it was an easy choice for us to find out.
But, if I had your reasons I might not. I do like the tutus and sparkles, and while the (spare room but will be) nursery is a neutral colour we will be jazzing it up with gender specific items. Plus, I’ve always had these fears of major complications and being all drugged up and not really being ‘there’ for the IT’S A___ moment. Most likely irrational fear but one more reason why I’m not going for team green.
It’s a personal choice, if you are happy with team green I say Do It! 🙂 Good luck!!
Post # 3
I loved the chance to plan even though our nursery would have been gender neutral (greens/browns) anyway.
I would have wanted to be team green if it was a girl…if that makes sense? I know you can’t be like “only tell us if it is a boy” haha.
I would have been irritated if my living room looked like a pink marshmallow vomited all over the place after my shower. Thankfully I did find out, and I had a boy so all of my big stuff is gender neutral and a lot of his basic pieces will be perfect for a girl if we have one later on.
Post # 4
Honestly I would rather know the gender, it wouldnt make much difference in terms of what I would buy (I prefer neutrals too) but I just hate surprises and like to be as organised as possible. I always think its a surprise anyway, so why not sooner rather than later. Plus you dont have to deal with everyone speculating based on how high your bump is/ how your pregnancy is going/ what you are craving etc etc. My SIL didnt find out until the birth for either of their children but everyone guessed that the 2nd would be a girl and when it turned out to be another boy of course they were happy but other peoples reactions were like ‘oh okay another boy then’. I think had they known earlier people wouldnt have had so much time to hype up the prospect of a baby girl. But obviously that is just one persons experience, and if you love surprises then theres no harm in waiting to know.
Post # 5
We found out we were having a girl after the anatomy scan. I made an envelope for a boy and for a girl and had the ultrasound tech throw the one that it wasn’t away. We recorded ourselves opening the envelope together, and the video is so cute! I’m glad we’ll always have that. It was also still a huge surprise even though it wasn’t during the birth. I hate the implication that it’s not a surprise if you find out the sex. It’s always a surprise! It also helped me feel more connected to the baby, and I didn’t have to keep saying “it” haha.
Post # 6
I liked knowing because it helps me feel more connected. Knowing the gender doesn’t mean you can’t keep things neutral. If you have a girl chances are people are gonna go crazy buying cute girl clothes either way.
also, those blood tests are designed for finding out about genetic problems not just gender. they are tested on high risk patients not people wanting an early gender. I also think having the doctor read to you your results will be much less exciting then watching an ultrasound and trying to figure it out while they’re doing it.
Post # 7
We are doing the NIPT testing for genetic abnormalities and will be finding out the sex as well. We’re like you in that if its a girl, we do not want a bunch of frilly stuff. Unfortunately, I think people will buy what they want before or after the baby is born. We just figure we will be returning a lot of things!
I went out to dinner with some friends the other day and they are already speculating on what its going to be and I’m only 11 weeks. For some reason, it really annoyed me. I don’t think I could deal with that the entire pregnancy.
Post # 8
I think that it is fine to be team green if you have no– absolutely no– gender preference or inkling. I know of 3 different couples that did team green. The first had all boys and really thought it was a girl. It was a boy. She never got the time to mourn that she would never have a daughter and then felt guilty about not being thrilled to have a healthy son. If she had found out at 20 weeks, she could have taken her 2 hour pity party and gotten thrilled for their son.
The other really thought it was a boy. She didn’t care, but in her mind she was having a boy. She totally was 100% convinced she was having a boy. She ended up with an emergency c-section and was having trouble waking up. She was waiting for someone to announce her Joey was born, but instead the “annoying person next to her wouldn’t wake up and tend to her daughter”. Finally someone throught to tell her, you had a girl, not a boy. It never dawned on her that she was having a girl.
Last case was friend had a daughter and a son and then a surprise pregnancy. She had no preference, needed no stuff, and was just getting over the shock of being pregnant again. She was team green on a natural, healthy birth and her husband got to announce it. They got to have that special moment that people dream of.
For me, I have a slight preference and need to time to plan. I will find out as soon as I can.
Post # 9
Has anyone ever found out and not told anyone? That’s what I kind of want to do. I don’t want people knowing, especially before the shower, what the sex is because like many of you I can’t stand all the pink frilly glittery stuff and I definitely want gender neutral things to use for a second child regardless of sex. But at the same time I think I’d want to know for myself just to have some time to get used to the idea of having a boy (or a girl… but I do have a slight preference for a girl and I always picture myself with a daughter). Have any of you done this? Was it hard to keep it a secret when you knew?
Post # 10
Cory_loves_this_girl: I love this idea. We aren’t TTC yet but have talked lots about it. I want the gender to be a surprise, and Darling Husband doesn’t. I told him we could compromise and the first child would be a surprise and the second we would find out. He didn’t think that was a compromise but said it was fine, in a kind of “whatever” tone. He might like this idea, and I like that the reaction is recorded. We wouldn’t get that in the delivery room (no camera’s please!!)
Post # 11
I couldnt take the suspense, we found out early @ 16 weeks, then again @ 20 weeks, just to be sure. I painted her room mint-green with yellow bedding so that wasnt a factor. I was not a fan of all the super pink clothing but was given some & have neutral clothes too. The super pink clothes are cute though.
“What are you having?” Is the most common question when you start showing. FYI. (It can get annoying to explain everytime).
I’d say go for it!! But dont forget to let your ultrasound tech know because they will tell you everytime. I had about 8 ultrasounds (they couldnt find her body parts). They never said “its a ___” at the birth for us, they had to take her immediately to check her out. Dear Fiance didnt even get to cut the cord 🙁
Post # 12
phillybride61513: I plan on being team green for many of the reasons you stated. Also, when my baby comes out I would like that child’s beginning of life to really be that childs begining. So many times I feel like we ‘create’ or mold our child’s lives before we really meet them. The child has a set name before they have even finished developing. The parents already have gender-specific expectations. When I meet my child, face-to-face, I want to be meeting my child, not a version of my child that I have created for myself. I hope that makes sense!
I also will enjoy not getting a million baby clothes/ gender specific items at my baby shower. Give me things I need instead!
Post # 13
One of my close friends decided to find out and was told it was a girl all the way through her pregnancy only to then give birth to a boy! That alone would put me off finding out lol
Post # 14
CaraLeah: We’ve known since mid-November, and everyone thinks we decided not to find out. We had initially planned on finding out and not telling anyone until the birth, but we’ve since decided that it will be fun to surprise everyone with a gender announcement at our shower (in 2 weeks!).
I also prefer more gender neutral stuff, and that’s what we’ve registered for – once everyone finds out we’re having a girl, I do expect to get some pink frilly clothing, but that’s not a big deal and it’ll mostly just be from the grandmas (I don’t expect people to buy us shower gifts then go out and buy more stuff once they find out, I just know the grandmas won’t be able to resist). It’s been a little hard to keep it a secret, but we’ve gotten used to just saying “the baby” when anyone else is around, instead of “she” or “her.” I have liked knowing, though, as I feel like it’s made it more real for me – I know that it’s my daughter in there squirming or kicking my ribs.
Post # 15
auggiefrog: Yesssss! You eloquently stated what I’ve been turning over in my head for a while and couldn’t really articulate. Just yesterday I told Darling Husband that even if we find out the gender and it’s a girl, we will work from a short list of names to determine what feels right for her when we meet her. We make up our mind about these new little people before they even take their first breath.