(Closed) Teenage mothers

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
2905 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Whaaaaat?! I can’t believe they aren’t making her wear a scarlet letter, at the very least! 

Seriously, though… maybe people aren’t treating her like she has ruined her life because they don’t want her to act like someone who has ruined her life. What good will come out of her missing her prom or leaving high school to get a job? How is that going to make her a better mother? If her mother is taking care of the baby right now, maybe that’s because grandma is much better than 16 year old mom at taking care of an infant.

And if you have to judge, I certainly hope you are reserving some of your judgement for the father. Or maybe it’s okay with you that he goes on with his teenage life while the child’s mom has to drop out, work at Burger King full time and never leave the house again?

Post # 3
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

KatieBklyn:  I totally agree with everything you said.

Post # 4
1019 posts
Bumble bee

I think that teen parents should be required to step up to the plate and raise their children first and foremost. If they have extra time, they can spend it with their friends. But I would hope that the young parent in question would be caring for the child that she chose to keep, and study and work to support their child that she chose to keep.<br /><br />While support is important for any parent, I think there needs to be a balance between support and the rough duties of parenting, especially if the parent is very young.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  Luvdisc.
Post # 5
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Why is this any of your business? Are you privy to their convos behind closed doors? 

Post # 6
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

alyssaC:  I think it’s great that she is getting so much support actually. I hate hearing stories of how girls are forced to give up school to get a job and then are never able to go to college Or have the career they wanted.


i also think it’s great that she is getting back into sports and was able to go to prom. She is a lucky girl to have such supportive parents and school system. 


question, where is the father of the baby in all or this? Is he expected to give up any school activities or aspirations because he is now a parent? Does he have a job to pay child supporT? 

Post # 7
7340 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Surprised they didn’t take her down to the town square and stone her.

The baby is already born. No point in punishing the mother. Maybe she’s getting to enjoy all these experiences because her family is supportive, and not ashamed of her.

Post # 8
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s hard to say this girl isn’t “stepping up”.  Yes she has family helping her, and is trying to continue school and have a life.  But it’s all the things you don’t know that can really matter.  Things like:  does mom watch the grandbaby during the day because teen was up all night with him?  Is this new mom struggling with depression or feeling overwhelmed with her new baby?  Is going out with friends a release valve for the stress she is under that allows her to be a good caring mother when she is with her child?  At the end of the day it’s not just about a teen mom.  It’s about a baby who needs to be cared for. And in some cases it really does “take a village” to make sure a baby is well cared for.

As far feeling like people are making things to easy for her, I really don’t agree.  Sure, she could be forced to work and care for her child, many teen moms are.  But look at the big picture.  If its harder for her now, maybe she doesn’t finish school. Now she is stuck working minimum wage jobs and struggling to support her child.  Maybe she ends up on some form of welfare.  Maybe she spends the next 18 years living with her parents because she can’t afford to move out.  Or her parents, school and friends can support her now in the hopes that she graduates, can go onto college and end up able to support herself and her child.  

Becoming a parent is hard no matter how old you are.  It’s stressful and scary and wonderful and overwhelming and amazing.  It sounds like this girl is lucky to have supportive family and friends, and more importantly, her baby is well loved and cared for.  

Post # 10
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

alyssaC:  Don’t worry. I’m sure she gets shamed by people like you every day. Mind your own business.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  merpitymerp.
Post # 12
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t know anything about this specific person so I can’t judge her, but I’ll comment on the general situation. I think that if teen parents choose to raise their baby themselves, they need to bear the majority of the responsibility and do just that. I think they should stay in school but whenever they’re not in school they need to be the primary caregiver for their child instead of carrying on a normal teenage life. Otherwise they just have the benefits of having a baby without the consequences. 

I’m sure it must be hard for the baby’s grandparents to let that happen though. My husband and I have talked about what we would do if we had a daughter who became a teen mom. I would encourage her to choose adoption, and if she chose to keep the baby, I would expect her to be primary caregiver whenever she’s not in school, and maybe have a part-time job to earn a little money to help pay for the baby’s expenses. My husband said he would want us to raise the baby and act like the baby’s parents because he would hate for our grandchild to be raised by someone else or to have any less than the best care we could afford. But I don’t think it would be right for us to act like the baby’s parents if we weren’t.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned but I feel like there should be some shame in being a teen parent who doesn’t act like a parent. Not that I think we should shame them, but it shouldn’t be encouraged or made easy by having all the consequences taken away. When you become a parent you have to grow up quickly and take on a lot more responsibility, and that means you can’t spend your time doing all the same things you did before. I mean, I’m almost 30, a mom of a young child and I would be ashamed of myself if I spent all my free time doing the ‘me’ things I did before I was a parent while someone else looked after my child.

Post # 14
8613 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Who cares if her mother helps with the baby? Good for her. I hope her mother continues to help her so she can finish high school and college, so she can get a good paying job to support that child in the future. I think you should mind your own business.

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