- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Where do I start.
I have a half-sister. She will be 18 next month. We share the same dad.
We’re 10 years apart in age. I didn’t have an incredibly close relationship with her growing up, as she lived with her mom a few hours away. When her mom and my dad were together, I had a good relationship with her mother, as she was quite young (18 when she had my sister) and I was 8. So it was easy to get along with her.
My sister, to say the least, is struggling in her life. For many of her teenage years, she has had “daddy issues.” My dad is an unreliable man. He raised me, and I saw first hand all of the mental issues he has. He has social anxiety, drinks too much, and honestly, still acts like a 20 year old boy. He thinks that giving my sister money every now and then will guarentee she likes him. He makes promises to see her dance recitals, etc, but then bails last minute (he’s always done that with me too).
My sister takes this personally, like there is something wrong with her. I have told her time and time again that it’s HIM with the problem….Because of this, she has had a lot of trouble the last few years. She drinks, smokes weed, dates awful boys, covers herself in piercings at tattoos, and has had a few pregnancy scares. She has had a lot of unprotected sex and refuses to see a doctor. Despite all this, she maintains a spectacular grade point average and is accepted into University for pre-veternary.
I have tried my best to offer her good, sisterly advice. To reach out to her. To try to nicely guide her..but she ignores me, and does the opposite.
I’m still good friends with her mom, who has confided in me that she has “given up” on her daughter. She can’t take it anymore. It is really hard to see her so defeated. She has given everything to make sure my sister could be in dance, have tutoring, therapy, have everything in the world, but my sister is ungrateful and awful to her.
Last night, either her mom kicked her out, or my sister left. I am not sure the true story…but she’s now living with her dirtbag boyfriend who dropped out of highschool, has no job and lives at home. She texted me this AM asking me to “help her find a job and stuff” The last time she contacted me, she wanted me to loan her money for a tattoo, and previous to that she wanted me to buy her a pregnancy test.
I asked her what happened, what she plans on doing, etc, and none of it makes logical sense. She says her boyfriend is going to get a job, get his GED, they’ll get a place, but she’s living in a dream. I’ve tried for so long to be patient and supportive, but I am losing my mind.
She’s SO immature for somone who is almost 18. I am finding it so hard to be supportive. I have a low tolerance for this stuff, as awful as it is. I struggle a ton with this. My best friend in junior high/highschool was VERY similar and I cut her out of my life before we graduated. She ended up taking her own life at 19. So obviously and am making a lot of connections between those two and I am scared shitless.
My sister has SO much potential. She is so (book) smart. I wish I had the brains she has in that regard…her decisions are setting herself up for a life of unecessary struggle. I don’t know what to do, how to get through to her. She just frustrates me so badly and it hurts to see yet another one of my siblings going down a really shitty path.
Can anyone offer advice? Experience? Anything?