Post # 1
The short of it is, I hate my dress. This is the second post I’ve made about it, so sorry for the repetition. I just need to let it all out.
I bought this dress when I was planning a much larger wedding. After months of planning, I was so overwhelmed and unhappy. Fiance and I decided to cancel the whole event and do a wedding in the mountains with immediate family and a handful of close friends. No regrets there. We are so much happier with the laid back affair. It also took the financial burden off my parents and siblings so we could all put money towards traveling to see my sister who started treatment for ovarian cancer in January. This wedding is definitely more “us”, but now the dress doesn’t match the event which is going from a warm spring day in Kansas to a cold spring day in the mountains.
When I bought the dress, I really loved it. But I realize now that I let myself be too influenced by friends/family when purchasing the dress and then I let everyone talk over me when making the decision about the bustle (everyone = my mom. She was trying to be helpful.) So I hate the dress and the bustle, but I’m not willing to put anymore money into it or another dress.
Here’s what I have:
Didn’t get a great pic of the bustle:
I would rather have a long sleeve a-line with a more modest neckline and a shorter or no train.
In any case, please share stories of how you overcame your wedding dress regret. Thanks!
Post # 2
I think it looks beautiful and the bustle looks ok too.
Maybe add a faux fur short jacket or wrap to give a more ‘cold mountains’ feel…or one of those faux fur hand warmer things (muff?)
Post # 3
ozbee : Thank you! I hadn’t thought of a muff. I love that! I bought a fur stole and an ivory blanket scarf. I might use both during pictures. My mom has a blue knit shawl that might serve as my something blue.
Post # 4
Can you try to sell it on http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com or even craigslist and buy something more your style? Sounds like you are saving a lot of $ by downsizing and having a more casual wedding so you can use some of the $ you are saving to buy your preferred dress while you wait for the other one to sell. That way you get what you want and wont have to put additional money into it. The dress is very beautiful but I can’t imagine how you feel hating it. You should be happy with what you get to wear. Hope it goes well!
Post # 5
Ohhhh I love this dress on you. It’s gorgeous. I really love the bustle by the way and I generally hate bustles lol. Your dress doesn’t need to suit a particular location. If you liked the dress for Kansas, I would wear it in the mountains. I would do some type of shawl/wrap for extra warmth.
We eloped in the mountains. I wore the same dress I would have had we done the whole formal shebang. That being said, I did buy two dresses. The first I bought at a consignment shop because it was nice enough and really cheap… but I regretted that and did go buy a second one so I’m probably not the best to be giving advice on dress regret haha. The first one wasn’t me, and if this one isn’t you, I’d try to sell it and buy something else.
Post # 6
radgardner : It’s a gorgeous dress! You could always chop the train off (what a shame though!) and pair it with a white sweater to make it less “formal”.
Post # 7
I just wanted to say the dress looks beautiful on you!
Post # 8
acg90 : I had thought about this but I don’t think I’ll have enough time to sell it and find another. My wedding is the end of April. I’m also not sure that I want to have the stress of trying to relpace it at this point. But thanks for the encouraging words!
djbeats : thank you so much. This is the second one I bought too. I did pretty much the same thing you did. I never imagined having this much embellishment on my wedding gown. I’m still trying to sell that other dress with no luck so I’m not optimistic about being able to sell this one. I may just buy another one but I’m worried that with my current budget I’ll end up with a completely unusable dress. The silver lining is that this is the type of dress that Fiance describes when I asked him what he liked.
unicornwolf : I would never have the heart to chop off the train. I bought this dress because of all of those buttons. Thank you so much for the inspo pic. I love that. 🤩
Post # 9
anabolina : Thank you! I appreciate it.
Post # 10
Bee not gonna lie dress looks gorg on you. The lace and beading to die!
Post # 11
Oh don’t buy a third dress dear OP , you are maybe getting a bit pre-wedding crazy here!
If sleeves are a big part of the regret , you could maybe have the cap sleeves replaced with long plain ones . ETA I just looked again and see they are integral to the dress so cover rather than replace I guess … with a plain tulle shrug/topper perhaps ? Like one of these (love the second one)
Do you have to use the bustle? I managed a long train without, no probs.
Finally, I have to say you look gorgeous in the dress despite you ‘hating’ it, sorry !
Post # 12
I agree adding a fur or faux fur shall or bolero kinda deal.
I (still) dont like my dress. I was also pressured into it. But the dress itself is stunning, I am just super insecure when I wear it. But I have told myself that it is one day, for not even 12 hours.. maybe like 5 or 6 hours. And I can suck it up for that amount time and “fake it til I make it” kinda deal.
Post # 13
radgardner : beeeeee…… you look amazing in that dress. There’s nothing that doesn’t work with your new venue. You’re the bride! You get to do it your way.
Love the muff idea and the fake fur jacket.
You should see @desertgypsy’s recap! Fur, dress, mountains, gorgeous.
*Pro Photo Recap* Zion National Park Solstice Wedding. Check it out!
Post # 14
radgardner : Personally for me, I started out loving my dress then I lost some love but now I love it again. It took three trips to the seamstress and a few alterations. I was worried that I was too big for my dress and would need long sleeves under my already long jacket. Neither was the case 🙂 She actually took the dress in and that made all the difference. I lost the idea to add sleeves after talking with her, and I realized that I could trust her. I posted a month or ago that I wanted to add sleeves and the other bees called it right. I don’t have any dress regret now, I’m 100 % back in love and it’s going to last 🙂 I think you look very pretty in your wedding dress but follow your heart. I followed my heart straight to a good seamstress who worked her magic. I actually cried happy tears after everything was finalized and I was ready to take my dress back home. Are you having an indoor or outdoor wedding? They white sweater the other bee posted was really pretty and would work for a cold day.
Post # 15
radgardner : Honestly, the dress is gorgeous, and you look like a old Hollywood starlet in it with that rockin’ pin-up bod.
I’m of the opinion that every bride should get to wear their dream dress on their wedding day, I don’t care if you go to the Justice of the Peace. You are going to look gorgeous. Please post pics of your ceremony, if you feel comfortable!
And you can always buy an informal reception dress. For example, this dress is $96