Post # 1
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
It’s happening! Our parents are finally meeting tomorrow! We’ve been together 3.5 years, and got engaged 10 months ago, but due to covid and the fact my parents live 2 hours away from us, it’s never seemed like quite the right time (we were hoping there would be a ‘natural’ meeting date, like having a dinner to celebrate getting engaged, but then covid happened!)
But with our wedding less than 7 months away, we decided to book a table at our venue and treat our parents to lunch, as well as show his parents the place, as they’ve never been.
I’m excited and a little bit nervous, so I’m whiling away the time by asking how, when and where your parents met each other, as well as how it went!
Post # 2
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: August 2015 - City, State
Our parents met each other after we got engaged during a Thanksgiving weekend we hosted at our house for several days. It was exhausting to cook that much food and to constantly be “on” interacting with both sides socially, but overall the visit was a success. Our parents got along well and have done so ever since
Post # 3
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
@yogahammy: awww, that’s so nice! Although Thanksgiving is a very family-oriented holiday, so there’s definitely a lot of pressure there! Glad it went well!
Post # 4
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
Pretty crazy, but never. My husband and I have been together for nearly 12 years but our parents have never met. Neither set of parents has much money and so neither really have had money to fly out and meet each other. My mom unfortunately couldn’t even attend my wedding, but alas. They’ve heard about each other plenty. I’m sure they’ll meet one day… Anyway, good luck for the big meet! I’m sure you’ll be very relieved afterwards!
Post # 5
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
@alrobinson: Very similar situation, no one really sees a point in meeting each other, they live in different counties, speak different languages, I am not close with my in-laws either
Post # 6
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
@alrobinson: thank you! And wow, that’s wild! Not even on zoom? My sister thinks it’s weird our parents haven’t met for the 3.5 years been together – she introduced her now-husband’s parents on a zoom call at Christmas after they’d been together 10 months or so, but unlike my in laws, they live overseas, so meeting in-person wasn’t going to be easy.
I guess we always thought it would happen ‘in time’ without us having to force it, but that didn’t end up really happening for a variety of reasons.
Post # 7
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
@tess90: my mum said something similar – they don’t actually need to get on. Living in the same country, as long as they can be civil for a few hours at hypothetical future children’s birthdays or whatnot, that’s as much as they’ll need to interact.
Although I won’t lie, I really would like them to enjoy each other’s company!
Post # 8
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
@thecoffeefiend: no not even on zoom. I guess their of a pp’s mind that neither set is highly keen to do so. I think they figure they’ll never really have any interaction with each other, so what’s the point? Kind of thing. Both sets of parents ask about each other on occasion though.
Post # 9
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
I actually don’t remember at all. How funny! I *think* it may have been at the surprise birthday party I threw my husband after we’d been together a year. But now that I think of it, that was just his mom. Maybe they met his dad at our wedding?? Not sure…
Post # 10
Member
2800 posts
Sugar bee
Ours didn’t meet until two days before our wedding lol. My in laws live halfway around the world so it wasn’t practical for them to meet my parents until the wedding weekend.
I literally almost had a nervous breakdown before this first meeting. There were massive cultural and religious tensions on both sides in the lead up to the wedding and both sets of parents had thrown tantrums and put incredible pressure on DH and me about our wedding ceremony and the various religious and secular things we planned to include in it. I could not fathom these four people getting together in the same room after all that crap and it going at all well.
But it did! Everyone got along really well and my parents and in laws now have a cordial texting relationship even though they’ve only seen each other IRL a few times.
Post # 11
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
My in laws live in Missouri and we’re in Virginia so no meeting has taken place. His parents couldn’t come to our wedding because of Covid so it will be a while before they meet my mom.
Post # 12
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee
Ours didn’t meet until after we got engaged, 5 years into our relationship, and they even live in the same small town. Our moms did add each other on Facebook, and they would send small gifts on holidays..but that was it. Once we got engaged we all had dinner at a local restaurant so that it was “neutral” ground I guess? They saw each other again at the wedding…and 6 years later I don’t know that they’ve seen each other since. They get along fine, but his parents are home bodies and don’t go out much and my parents like to be out and about (pre covid anyway), so they don’t have a lot in common.
Post # 13
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
@alrobinson: that makes sense – like I said above, it’s not like they really NEED to get on or actually spend any time with each other at all.
@laurana1: haha, too funny! I obviously need to stop overthinking it!
@emilyofnewmoon: awww, that must have been the HUGEST relief when they got on well! I’m relieved for you!
@coffeebean87: covid really has done a number on things like this! We’re in a similar boat, although smaller distance.
@FutureMrsBex: that’s fair. It’s not like they NEED to get on, not really. His parents are SO nice though, that I really want my parents to like them too!
Post # 14
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
I’m not engaged yet, but still want to play.
My parents have not met my boyfriend’s family. My parents live a 4 hour flight away. Both my boyfriend’s mother and aunt asked if they would like to come over for dinner the first time they were in town (about 8 months into our relationship). I declined as they hadn’t even met my boyfriend yet, so didn’t need to meet the whole family. With COVID, they haven’t visited since September 2019, so there hasn’t been another opportunity.
With my ex, I asked my parents to have his family over for dinner around two years of dating. They started taking turns hosting at Christmas. Our mums got along great. When we broke up we were in a LDR and I know our mums had plans to meet up that week without us, but apparently had a long heartfelt call about how wonderful we both were but cancelled their meetup out of respect.
My sister’s in-laws are super lovely and welcoming. She was at their house Christmas Eve the first year they were dating. Her (now) in-laws only live a five minute drive from our parents. We went to pick her up before attending 9pm mass, got invited in, and left just before midnight to make midnight mass. They all love each other. My sister and her husband live a 40 minute drive away and visit once a month or so, but the parents (pre-COVID) probably hung out every two weeks if not more.
I’ve been really lucky that my parents are easy going and generally likeable people. Unless my future in laws were being awful to me, I can’t see my parents having any issue. I’ve said to my boyfriend that they will LOVE his aunt and uncle.
Post # 15
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
@minnewanka: aww, that’s a super sweet story. They sound like such nice people! I would describe my parents as chatty and fairly easy-going, but I worry there may be a little bit of competition between them – we see his parents a lot more often purely because they live much closer – probably about 30-40 minutes’ drive, compared to 2 hours to my parent’s house, so it’s possible my mum and dad might subconsciously be a bit envious of that, or feel a bit left out. My Mother-In-Law also often comes to fiance’s soccer games, and so we get to sit together and watch him play on a picnic rug once a week in normal years (not last – thanks covid) so we really do see them quite a bit comparative to mine.