Tell me about the first time your parents met the in laws!

posted 2 weeks ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
517 posts
Busy bee

My family lives on the other side of the country so it’s likely our parents won’t meet until the wedding! lol My parents don’t use Zoom and all of them are pretty tech-unsavvy so it’d be awkward trying to set up a meeting for that, especially because there’s really no need to. 

Although I’ve always joked with my Fiance that our dads would probably get alone seeing as they’re both cigar-smoking, blue-collar workers who grew up in Southern California during the 70s. 

Post # 32
Member
7842 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

My dad and his mum passed away before we ever met, so it was just my mum meeting his dad, which happened at the rehearsal dinner. They’re both polite people, so while they got along fine, it wasn’t a deep and enduring friendship or anything. My mum often came to babysit our children at our house (we live closer to FIL), and would sometimes visit with him if he drove up to get something (it’s a non-working farm with outbuildings in which he still keeps things). They get along fine, but would never have been friends had the two of us not met and been married. Honestly, neither of us – nor our parents – really saw the need to force a meeting before the marriage, as how well they get on has nothing whatsoever to do with our marriage. 

Post # 34
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Our parents met for the first & only time at our wedding, 10 years after we started dating. I met hubby while going to college in his state, which is a 2hr plane ride or 14hr road trip from my then-home state (military brat) & it would’ve been both expensive plus a hassle to organize a trip around everyone’s work schedules. Our families couldn’t be more different culturally, but our moms are actually pretty similar personality-wise so there’s always been a level of comfort there. Our fathers can be difficult in their own ways, but hubby’s parents speaking 98% Korean with very little English probably helped prevent any possible minor disagreements popping up between the two. We married at sunrise with only immediate family, including my brother flying in 1/2 way around the world the day before from he was stationed (best surprise wedding gift ever). Hubby & I had arrived early to take our photos so family photos were quick post ceremony, & then had a casual wedding brunch so no standing around waiting at any point. It turned out to be just a happy, relaxed morning for everyone.

Post # 35
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

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@thecoffeefiend:  Glad to hear it went so well & wishing you+future hubby the happiest of wedding days!

Post # 37
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

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@thecoffeefiend:  aw, thank you! It was wonderful, but not sure I’d recommend it unless every guest really, really loves the bride & groom enough to wake up when it’s still dark outside to get ready then possibly brave traffic, lol (for sentimental reasons married on a Tuesday).

Post # 38
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

My hubby’s parents are separated and my parents meeting them about 1-2 years in was fairly underwhelming tbh. We don’t see much of them at all. 

Post # 39
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

My parents met my in-laws at the weddding.  All 3 times! laughing  With my ex-husband, my late husband, and my new husband.

 

My parents live in Texas, and my ex in-laws live in Indiana, my late husband’s parents live in Wisconsin, and my current father-in-law and sister-in-law live in Missouri.  So the first and only times my parents met any of them was at the wedding(s).  

 

It was fine.  Everyone was polite.  None of my in-laws would be people my parents would hang out with, but everyone was nice.

Post # 40
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

Oh boy, I’m going to read all of this later!

Our parents haven’t met either. Been together 3 years, got engaged in October, and getting married in May. By the time we were fully ready for them to meet (as neither of us has done the parents meeting thing before), covid had hit. Worst part – our parents only live about 15-20 minutes apart. I am sure it will go fine, but I can’t help having anxiety about it; my mom’s already made little comments about how it needs to be ‘on neutral ground’ setting-wise, how she better not be expected to share wedding planning 50/50 with his mom (my brothers didn’t include her so she’s been kind of territorial about helping me plan and having ‘her turn’ to be involved), and she already knows his mom is more petite and I know that makes her feel insecure and already assuming she’ll be judged or something. My mom does sometimes have a tendency of jumping to conclusions, and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. She’ll assume the other person will want things a certain way, or not take to her, develop a certain opinion, or have certain expectations, and then when things don’t go 1000% smoothly she feels like her assumptions were just confirmed. My mom is GREAT in many ways, but this issue is stressful sometimes. She’s nice, but when her feelings are hurt, she doesn’t get over it easily, she tends to be a little judgy, she tends to be territorial, jealous, make a lot of comparisons… And given my fiance’s parents live SO close, have similar lifestyles, similar values, also intend to buy a camper (my parents have one), are retiring soon, like the same food, etc… there is some pressure for everyone to get along so maybe we could do double-family camping or something. She’s convinced my brother and his wife see her parents more (despite living hours away) and it REALLY bothers her. She forgets that that brother is the worst communicator in the family, takes little to no initiative to make plans with the rest of us, and his wife is super close with her mom. It makes sense, despite sucking. So I feel like there is pressure on me to be SUPER sure I keep things fair with big things like holidays and wedding planning! Luckily his parents are more go with the flow and I’ve assured her that his mom has been nothing but supportive and has in no way done anything possibly step on her toes. 

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