(Closed) Tell me about the first year after having a baby

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Physically, exhausted. Emotionally? I never thought I could love someone more than my dh. I had a touch of ppd, so the first few weeks were a bit tearful. I was a bit depressed about what my formerly size zero body looked like. 

My discomfort with my body led me to the mistaken belief that my husband saw me the same way. He didnt. I felt so bad for every time i was a butt to him after each of our kids was born!

one suggestion, that i heard after having my last baby (of course!) was to take a photo every day for the first year. They change soooo much day to day! 

Post # 4
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was a bit tearful the first couple of weeks.  I felt like a giant rubber band waiting to snap–I would go from crying when I had to ask my husband twice for a glass of water (because he was paying attention to the baby) to poking her to make sure she was still breathing.  Even I gave myself whiplash from the mood swings.

Things balanced out, after awhile.  While the first three months weren’t the worst months of my life, they weren’t the best either.  I’ll be honest and say that while I loved HER, I didn’t love the newborn stage.

After the third month, it was like magic.  She started to get really cool, and I loved watching her do things.  You know when parents cheer when their kid does something mundane?  Like roll over?  That wasn’t fake for me, I was genuinely that happy!

My relationship with Darling Husband is better than pre-baby.  Sure, we’re more tired, but you really do adapt, and we’re nicer to each other.  Not just because we don’t want to fight in front of the baby, but because when you’re that overwhelmed/tired/nervous about keeping someone alive, little things are like gold.  Before the baby, when my husband washed dishes, I’d be like “Thanks, but you know, it’s your house too.”  Now, when he washes bottles, I’m like “OMG, THANK YOU!”  

Parenthood is better than I expected.  It is harder to leave my baby than I thought it would be, even just for a movie.  The first time we left her overnight, I cried, and then worried the whole time.  Full disclosure, I’m at 9m and not a year, but it’s amazing.  Some parts are sucky, but they are less than the great parts.

Post # 5
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Very great thread, I hope to hear more!

Post # 6
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t have kids yet, commenting cause I’d love to hear about this!

Post # 8
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

The first year after my first baby with the absolute best year of my life.  My Darling Husband and I became even closer and it was simply amazing.  

Post # 9
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@alaska_99705:  Honestly, the first year of parenthood is a bit of a blur.  I got little to no sleep, my then-husband wasn’t as hands-on parenting wise as I’d hoped, money turned out to be tighter than we thought, our marriage (which had some issues already) fell apart, and we were separated by the time our son was 1.5yrs.  But, I learned a lot about myself that year and my son is pretty awesome, so it wasn’t all negative. 

Post # 10
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

wow the first year.. such a loaded question!

If you read nothing else in my post remember this: The days are long and the years are short. There is nothing better to describe the first year/ years.

I can tell you the first few days of having my baby I was underwhelmed. That sounds terrible but my hormones were CRAZY. I had a very long labor (56 hours) and I was exhausted. I hated being at the hospital. When we finally got to go home the day after she was born it all melted away. We put her in her swing that I had set up months prior and from there it was great.

The first few weeks were definitely a trip and a half.. babies don’t know difference between day and night.. piece of advice NAP! Nap when they do otherwise youre a zombie. I had a surprisingly easy time napping so the weird long night weren’t so tough on me.

Take lots and lots of pictures.. in the moment it seems silly. “do i REALLY need another picture of her laying here/ in the bath/ sleeping etc’ Trust me.. you do. My SO and I look back at her pictures and videos now and tear up about how fast time flies. Those moments we have are priceless.

I loved snuggling when she was so tiny and I miss that now that she’s older. (18 months) She a GREAT sleeper now.. loves her crib but that means she doesn’t really fall asleep in my arms.

As far as my SO goes — you will never love your man more. There is nothing like seeing the man you love turn into a puddle because of a baby you both love so much. He was so emotional when she was born he had 2 nurses ask if he was going to be ok. It can test your relationship and strengthen it in the most amazing ways.Make sure to get date nights in. It’s so so important!

Physically: I felt more aware of my body then I’ve ever been, I still feel EVERYTHING in my tummy area ie gas lol. I breast fed and my entire body changed and I was so shocked how my body could sustain another little human so perfectly.I miss my perky breasts and tight stomach but.. it was totally worth it. A piece of advice I got: you have the rest of your life to lose the extra 10-20 lbs. these moments are precious. Take care of yourself but focus on your baby.

Emotionally: The first few months were weird.. I had crazy hormones and would cry all the time. I also felt (and still feel on occasion) trapped a bit. I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom and when I was breastfeeding it was really hard to get away. Take time for yourself. Demand alone time, ask for help.

Parenthood was better and tougher than I expected (and I had experience! I was a nanny for 3 years) its more love and fullfillment than you expect but it’s definitely tougher than anyone tells you. I had always wanted to be a mother and I now know its the best thing I’ll ever be.


Post # 11
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I love this thread. I am curious too, maybe it’ll cool down the baby fever… Lol.

Post # 12
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@alaska_99705:  If I had to sum it up in two words: joy, and exhaustion.

My babies have been a pure joy and the first year is wonderful. As is the 2nd, 3rd, 4th… I think the later years are better in the sense that they start talking and interacting it’s so amazing. But the first year is amazing too. I was fortunate enough to Stay-At-Home Mom and breast feed and I loved that so much.

But sometimes it is incredibly exhausting. Crying sometimes doesn’t stop. Nights of almost no sleep. The baby’s demands just do not stop. I remember some days Darling Husband got home from work and I was just lying on the bed cuddling Dirty Delete, and had been there for hours. Of course with the 2nd and 3rd that wasn’t an option, but somehow I managed.

With my husband, our relationship stayed strong. Physically it was sometimes hard because my body was stretched out of shape and it has never fully recovered. So for irrational reasons I lost a lot of confidence in the bedroom. But that improves again. Even if my figure isn’t what it was 🙂

Post # 13
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@paula1248:  Oh this!  You know those VH1 specials, like 100 best 80s songs or whatever?  I once watched that for a WHOLE AFTERNOON holding Dirty Delete because we had found a position that made the crying stop.  I would make a bottle, change her, she’d cry, and back to the sofa we’d go.

Post # 14
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I love this thread! I don’t have kids yet either as PP but interested in reading more about this!

Post # 15
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2006

I’m curious to see the men’s responses on this same topic.

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