Post # 1
How did you choose your bridesmaids? How many are you having, and how do you “categorize” them? Are they childhood friends, college friends, sorority sisters, work friends, family members, etc?
I am having some serious difficulty figuring out our wedding party. My fiance will have five groomsman, and I am a big believer in having matching numbers. However, I am not really close to many women. I have my maid of honor and my junior bridesmaid picked, but that’s it. I honestly just suck at maintaining friendships with people. I know I could ask some of my closest high school friends, but I’ve been out-of-state for college for three years and feel that we’ve grown apart. How do you figure out how close you should be to someone to ask her to be your bridesmaid?
Is there anyone who has asked people they aren’t super close to to be bridesmaids?
Thanks for the advice, ladies!
Post # 2
I chose 4. Ive heard horror stories about good friends not talking after a wedding because of a strained bride/bm relationship, so i asked mainly family. I have fis sister, my brothers wife, my only female cousin, and then my maid of honor is a really close friend of both fi and mine.
fi went with all friends for his groomsmen against my advice but thats something he really wanted. He has one friend who was his best friend his whole life but recently moved to the other side of canada… A friend that i hadnt even heard of unti, about a year ago…. But apparently their bffs now (ive never even met the guy… Ive been with fi for 11 years…) my moh’s fiance whose also a really close friend of ours (my fi set them up on their first date 7 years ago!) and then my brother out of obligation to keep my mom happy.
i was hoping fi would have his bil or a few of his brothers but ultimately it was his choice.
Post # 3
coachhw: I have four. I wanted them to all be representative of different areas of my life.
My Maid/Matron of Honor has been my best friend since the seventh grade and we’ve done absolutely everything together. We’ve gone on vacation together and not killed each other. We’ve liked the same boy in high school and gotten over it. I call her my sister and I truly believe she is my soul sister.
Bridesmaid or Best Man A is my closest friend from college. We were friends from move-in day all the way through, even when other friends in our group stopped hanging out. She’s also doing one of our ceremony readings.
Bridesmaid or Best Man L is a mutual friend of mine and FI’s. We worked together at the job where Fiance and I met, and while I haven’t known her as long as the others, she’s been a big part of my relationship with Fiance. She was one of the first people to know we were dating and we got very close over the last few years.
Bridesmaid or Best Man J is my closest male friend from high school. I always said he’d be the one to walk me down the aisle, and to be honest, I probably should’ve stuck to that plan. While we were very close in high school and still talk frequently now, I don’t feel as much of a connection to him as I used to.
You mention that you think you’ve grown apart by being in college out of state for three years. I went to college in a different state from my Maid/Matron of Honor and then lived in a different state for four years after. Bridesmaid or Best Man A and I didn’t see each other from our college graduation in 2009 until my bridal shower this March. Distance doesn’t always mean as much as you think it does.
Post # 4
I have my Maid/Matron of Honor who I met in final year at uni when we randomly ended up living together. I didn’t have to think about whether or not I’d have her I just knew and then I’m having FIs 3 nieces because they’re young enough to look cute but old enough to behave and to remember it (7, 8 & 9) and my sister’s boyfriend’s daughter (5) because she’ll be the only other little girl there and assuming my sister and her boyfriend stay together she’s basically a bonus niece 🙂
Post # 5
I am having 4 bms and a jnr bm. Two girls are my best friends since high school, we have been together through growing up, babies, relationship breakdowns etc and I know they will be great. They had a drinking game to determine which one would be my Maid/Matron of Honor lol. I am also having FIs 2 sisters. My jnr Bridesmaid or Best Man is my 13 yr old cousin. i will mainly be leaning on my girls and the rest will definitely turn up on the day in the dresses but probably won’t be that involved with anything else as they have a lot in their lives but I’m totally okay with that.
Post # 6
I have 8. I have 5 sisters and wanted them all included because we’re very close & I can’t imagine chosing between them. I also have 2 of my cousins that I’m very close too and a very good friend who I’ve known since 7th grade. I have a great relationship with each of and it has made this process so much easier.
I also have 4 Junior Bridesmaids. They’re all my nieces. A little too old to be flower girls but they were so excited about the wedding and wanted to be included so I asked them to be Junior Bridesmaids.
Post # 7
I had two, one Maid/Matron of Honor and one bridesmaid. I chose them because we’re close, they “get me” and we’re all low drama. In addition, they’re both friends with each other which made planning a breeze.
Post # 8
Like @dv3849 said, I chose mainly family. The last thing I wanted was drama with my friends. Unfortunately for me, even with just 4 girlfriends out of 10 bridesmaids, I had a fallout with one of them (long story) 😀
Anyway, I have…… 10 bridesmaids, my Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend, we’ve been friends for 11 years. My other 2 girlfriends have been in my life for a few years too, love them to pieces. The rest of my bridesmaids are family! Sis in law and cousins.
Got a pretty darn good bunch of gals by my side.
Post # 9
I kind of had the same situation as you. I had a core group of girlfriends in high school but when I went away to college we lost touch a little. The main difference is that I graduated in 2011 and moved back to my home state, so we have had the chance to rekindle stuff a bit. Still, when making this decision I was worried we weren’t close enough any more. It was either going to be this core group of girls and my sister, or my fiancé’s two sisters, my sister, and my best friend from that group. When I thought about the morning of my wedding day and who I wanted to be surrounded with, I wanted it to be people who really knew me. Because my fiancé’s family is in SC, the same state we went to college, I just haven’t had the opportunity to get super close with his sisters. For me, the answer was my high school friends. They knew me in my first serious relationship, they knew me when I was going through the pain of ending that relationship, and when I introduced them to my fiancé when we were just friends, they knew that this was the guy I would marry. I was worried they wouldn’t want to do it, but they ended up being so touched and I think we have grown closer since my asking them. Everyone’s situation is different. I hope this helps!
Post # 10
coachhw: My advice is to have mismatched numbers, or your fiance gives other jobs to some guys. e.g. 2 groomsmen, 2 ushers, and 1 guy doing a reading.
I wanted 3 girls (sister and 2 best friends) but fiance only wanted 2 guys. So the person who wanted more – me – compromised. We had 2 each, and my 2nd best friend did a reading instead.
Post # 11
-My best friend from middle school and high school, who I have remained close with. She actually met my husband several years before I did and was the one who introduced us!
-My college roommate who I have also remained close with. Even though we live on opposite sides of the state, we still get together several times a year.
-My cousin, who I have always been close with and was the first best friend I ever had.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
I wanted 3 bridesmaids, but Fi choose 6 groomsmen, so I ended up with 6. I also like the matchy numbers thing.<br />So I met my maid of honor is middle school, and we became really good friends in highschool. Out of everyone I have ever been friends with, our relationship has been a rock. I’m a horrible pin pal, but eventhough she lives 4 hours away now, we have always visited each other and stayed close. I am also the godmother of her first born. <3<br />Then I have another really close friend from college. It was a tough decision between this lady and my Maid/Matron of Honor because she is an amazing friend as well.<br />Then I have a jr. bridesmaid. Her family has been like a second family to me. I have been involved in her life since she was 5.<br />Then I have my Fi’s sister. She introduced Fi to me and is also a good friend. <br />Then my cousin who is more like a sister. We grew up with eachother.<br />Lastly, my mom’s best friends daughter. She is also like a sister to me. We have known eachother our whole lives and are only 10 days apart in age. However, we are not as close as we were when we were younger. Not that we don’t like eachother, but we live such different lives. She is a beauty, a fashion diva, and a party girl. I’m more tomboy-ish, and not a fan of the party scene. But she means a lot to me and my family.<br /><br />I have two more ladies in my life that I wish were bridesmaids:<br />My sister. She is upset with our family and refused to respond to messages I sent her. Ideally, she would have been my Maid/Matron of Honor.<br />Other friend of mine. We are like minded and click on a level that is rare. However, we were fighting during the time i picked my wedding party, so unfortunately what is done is done. However, I’m definately going to honor her somehow. <br /><br />If you are having trouble picking, look at your family, or Fi’s family. ?
Post # 13
Well I’m having 10 on each side. People freak when they hear that number but from the get go those girls have had my back even when we never saw eye to eye. I’m having them all in different dress since they are all so different and wanted them comfortable and let those choose out of about 20 or so dresses I liked. Even when some wanted a dress already choosen they get made a joke and moved on. They are supportive and I just love these girls to death!!
Maid/Matron of Honor My cousin we grew up like sisters in the same house and always had each others back
3 of my Bridesmaid or Best Man are younger cousins (late teens to 22)
Fiance only sister is also a BM
then the other 5 are friends
3 are from my church and I think of them as sisters
2 are really Fiance best female friends but I stole them from him lmao
There are also 3 ushers that are my cousins and the flower girl and ring bearer are my cousin (RB also is my godson) So even tho its big its people that I love to death and wanted them apart of that day no matter what. The guys are pretty much divided the same Me & his Brothers his best male friend (Best Man) his cousin and 5 of his closetest friends that I’ve known for years.
Post # 14
I have 2 bridesmaids and a matron of honor. We’ve all been close friends since middle school (we’re 30 now). I’m not as close with 2 of them, just because of time, distance, etc. but I still consider them good friends and can’t really imagine having anyone else as bridesmaids. My Maid/Matron of Honor is awesome and we’re still close.
Post # 15
My sister is my only bridesmaid, which technically makes her my Maid/Matron of Honor by default. We’re having a crazy small ceremony, and she’s the only person I’d dream of having by my side on my wedding day. She’s also my only sister. Our parents and brother all live at least 3 hours away, but we live just 20 minutes from each other.. so we’re essentially all the family the other has within visiting distance. I’ve always loved her to death and I’m honored that she agreed to be in my wedding.