Post # 16
Daisy_Mae : I can understand where you are coming from, but also, an engagement ring doesn’t have to cost much money. The post is about getting engaged without one, so it’s not like it’s either no ring or spending thousands of dollars on one. There is a middle ground in the world of engagement rings.
So if he is insisting on buying her a ring to get engaged, I would hope that at 38 years old, he can scrape together $20-$50 in a few months time.
Or it’s just an excuse to keep her waiting.
Post # 17
- Wedding: Fireman’s Pavillion
When I first got engaged I didn’t have a ring.
It wasn’t uncommon for us to talk casually about us getting married. Conversations such as:
Him: so you wanna marry me one day?
me: That’s the plan.
Him: But I’m a pain in the butt
me: yeah but your my pain in the butt.
He took me down to a pond where we’d had our first date many years earlier. We were sitting at a picnic table just looking at the ducks swimming around. Pretty much the conversation went as follows
him: so you wanna get married
me: sure one day
him: I’m seriously asking
me: no you’re not (It was April 1st, plus it was a pretty typical conversation tone)
him: you don’t believe me.
him: why not?
me: I know we can’t afford a ring right now, but you’re not even down on one knee :p
so he picked me up so I was standing on the picnic table faced me and asked. I said yes.
I didn’t have a ring for 4 months of my engagement. (Engaged April received the ring in August)
During that time when people asked me to see the ring, I said it’s a work in progress, we’re just really excited to spend the rest of our lives together. Most people gave the congratulations, and moved on. Only one or two people had placed their unwelcome two cents….but you ignore it and move on or politely tell them the ring doesn’t make the marriage and they kinda learn their place.
Post # 18
sharpshooter : I agree completely. It would concern me that a man that age doesn’t have enough saved to buy even a modest ring. To the extent that he’d use it as a reason not to get engaged. I mean… there are even pawn shops. Estate sales. Plain silver bands.
I would be very careful combing assets with such a person, personally. That said, if op wants to marry him and doesn’t want a ring, then I support that… just wanted to mention the middle grounds.
Post # 19
Darling Husband proposed with a stand in ring, so not the same scenario, but similar. It was too big, so I couldn’t wear it the rest of the trip, even though I was ecstatic and wanted to show the symbol to the world! Then, when we got back from the trip, I had to send in the stand in so my real ring would be sent to me. I waited a week for the ring. People asked me daily at work to see the ring and it did make feel frustrated and annoyed. I felt like some coworkers implied I wasn’t engaged because there was no ring yet.
If you can’t afford a ring now, I would consider a stand in until you can. Get something simple even, or silicone, but in my opinion, it’s nice to have.
Post # 20
- Wedding: August 2016 - Temecula, California
I definitely don’t think you have to have a ring to be engaged. Sometimes it makes it even more special! Even though we did have a ring, it was not used for the actual proposal and I loved having such a romantic moment just focusing on the two of us.
My non ring proposal story: About a month before my husband proposed to me we put a deposit on my ring so it would be reserved and ready to go when he felt the time was right. I had planned a day trip with my boyfriend and some friends and family to take a limo and go wine tasting for my boyfriend’s birthday. We had a great day together and on the long ride home I saw him look at me with this look I had never seen before. He just looked at me and asked “will you marry me?”. I was in complete shock. I thought maybe I imagined it. I asked him, “what did you say?”. Then he repeated himself, started saying the most wonderful things. (I was less delicate with my “Fu*k yeah” response). He turned to everyone in the limo and announced that he just proposed to me. Then everyone started asking to see the ring. My husband said “we just have to pick it up”. So the next morning we went and picked up my ring!
I thought it was perfect.
Post # 21
- Wedding: June 2020 - By the lake
Answer: Berricle! They are beautiful engagement rings at a great price! They are very affordable and they are wonderful engagement rings. They are sterling silver with rhodium for shininess and the metal won’t be scratched easily. They are CZ, but the quality of the stones looks so real! I have a real diamond in a 14kt yellow gold that was proposed with, however, I bought a wedding set from Berricle because I like the look of them, so I wear the Berricle set much more than my engagement ring. I might even wear them when I get married! There is no shame in wearing a sterling silver with CZ. Like I said, I wear my CZ more than my diamond ring because I really like the look of the Berricle ring.
Post # 22
- Wedding: October 2020 - Las Vegas, NV
We got engaged with a Ring Pop because we already planned to order the ring later I just didn’t realize he was going to propose so soon.
Post # 23
We got engaged officially without a ring. He had purchased a loose diamond but did not have it set yet. Getting the church booked was more urgent than the proposal/ring so we did that before we got engaged!
The church at our old college had limited wedding slots available, and would open up their appointment book only one day a year to book weddings for the following year. There was fierce competition for those wedding slots.
Post # 24
Husband got overwhelmed by the idea of ring shopping. He thought my taste was too unusual and that he would “mess it up” (to be fair – jewelry is complicated!). He proposed to me with a very thin gold band and told me I could pick out my own ring.
This was PERFECT! It ended up taking me 7 months to decide on a ring. In that time lots of people said “let me see your ring!” and I very proudly flashed my plain gold band. I still wear it as my wedding band. Best part is that I got to be surprised by the engagement, but still pick out the ring I wanted. Best of both worlds!