Post # 62
OP, I think that you should take ElbieKay’s advice word for word. How you handle this situation now will reflect future situations. Whether there are children involved or not, holidays are for families and the time should be shared. If your Fiance isn’t prepared to compromise (don’t get me started on how he just went behind your back and changed your plans) then I wouldn’t expect him to start anytime soon.
Post # 64
100%. Future Sister-In-Law is completely unreasonable. Xmas is a kids holiday? Really? Oh well I guess my non breeder behind shouldn’t celebrate then. Great to know. All the people who don’t have kids clearly don’t understand or care for the meaning of Xmas. Wow. That takes the cake. She is beyond self centered. Glad your putting your foot down. If and when your and intended get married/have kids, I wonder what power play she’s gonna pull then. Moron.
Post # 65
To go into a little more with Future Sister-In-Law… we have two dogs and she hates dogs. She stayed with us in the Summer for a few nights and we put the dogs in kennels for the weekend so that they weren’t around.
I made it clear that was a ONE TIME thing. I will never do that again! I felt horrible kicking them out of their home (they’re my babies) just because she doesn’t like them.
Another one – she lives around 8 hours away from us in a city that my bf moved away from at age 18. He’s made it clear that he will never live there again and I know for sure that I couldn’t. When we visited them in November she asked if we will ever move there and my bf told her no. And she said “what about when you guys have kids? You don’t want them to be close to their cousins?”. I said “that’s a tough one because what about my two brothers and sister who will eventually have kids so what about those cousins?” She didn’t know what to say. You could tell she didn’t think that my family is as important as hers.
Post # 66
Sadly I know her type all too well. It doesn’t get better. So you have manage their expections. Make sure your relationship is the priority and not her self centered ways. Can’t wait to your update after lunch.
Post # 67
Omgosh, that is freaking annoying. No, you absolutely should not have to put up with that crap. HEEEELLLLLLL NOOOO. That’s ridiculous.
Post # 68
Your Future Sister-In-Law sounds like a complete a-hole. I would have lost it by now if I had to deal with someone like that so cudos to you for keeping your cool.
Post # 69
She sounds like a manipulative, selfish person. Don’t let her get her way, it will set a precedent and she will make your life hell. Your bf might give in to her crazy demands but you don’t have to.
Post # 70
” When I said I need to spend some days with my family too she couldn’t understand why because there’s no children in my family and Christmas is a “kids holiday”.”
She’s wrong. Tell her Christmas is a family holiday (and even for those with no family, by the way), and it would hurt your family if you didn’t see them. That really is a case of crazy reasoning to justify her selfishness. And the kids won’t care if you’re there for 3 days or 5.
I would still compromise on staying in the townhouse too, so long as you got your own room. I don’t know what your chances of that happening though.
Post # 71
How’d the convo with your guy go?
Post # 72
Hope your lunch goes well. And don’t back down on your plans. Hope your bf agrees. keep us updated.
Post # 73
Oh man oh man oh man! You are the opposite of unreasonable. In fact, were I you, I would have lost it back in Nov when Future Sister-In-Law said Xmas is a kids only holiday!?
I just cannot believe your SO is not backing you up over this! If my Fiance had pulled this, I would have said, ok, we’ll spend xmas apart then. ./shrug But I’m hella independant like that. My personal space is super important to me.
He needs to realize that if you’re to share a life together, he can’t
a) make plans behind your back
b)write your family off
c)worry about pleasing everyone else excpet you!
*hugs hugs hugs*
I sure hope it works out!
Post # 74
Quick update. I doubt I’m going at all.
We had a huge talk about our waiting situation and its not good so that has kind of put everything on hold 🙁
thanks for the support everyone
Post # 75
Oh, no… *Hugs* to you. I pray the future works out for the best, whatever that is.