(Closed) Tell me if I should or shouldn’t feel upset…(vent)

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What Would You Do???
    Be a Lady!!! Ignore her...ignorance is Bliss : (40 votes)
    70 %
    Go to Girls night out....It YOUR Family!!! : (14 votes)
    25 %
    Give her a piece of your mind!!! : (3 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t understand what is wrong with saying “you have three of them.” Maybe she’s just not familiar with different types of rings.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3969 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I wouldn’t be irked about the ring comment. I would be annoyed though if they were upset about the cost of your wedding when theirs is similar.

    Post # 5
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Not knowing the whole situation, I say put a smile on your face and give her a little more time to get over it.  Maybe she just blanked out on what to say when she saw your ring??? (As much as I love erings, I am plagued with the inability to gush over one in person…lol).   Give yourself a little space for a short amount of time, but don’t ignore or avoid her, she is family. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2893 posts
    Sugar bee

    There’s really no reason why your cousin can’t invite her if she wants her to come. I also don’t see how the comment about your ring is offensive unless it was said with a snarky tone. She’s also not required to extend her assistance with your wedding, though it would be nice. And just because you were able to afford to make it to her Destination Wedding doesn’t mean she has the money to afford yours (unless you know their financial circumstances and know they’re loaded). I guess I just don’t understand.

    Post # 7
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Lol to be honest I don’t think she meant to be offensive, the comment was just odd. Of course a 3-stone e-ring has “3 of them” (as in stones). Why point out the obvious?

    Post # 9
    Member
    2893 posts
    Sugar bee

    @June232012: Ok. Yeah. That’s a little messed up. I know it’s hard, but try to be the bigger person. It’s certainly easier said than done. Maybe your ring wasn’t her taste. Doesn’t mean it isn’t drop dead gorgeous. Just means she can’t give socially appropriate compliments.

    Post # 10
    Member
    764 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m sorry but it kind of sounds like it just might be YOU. Noyhing you’ve said about this girl is over the top. The ring comment, perhaps being snippy during the  most stressful time of her life.  Seems like you’re just disappointed that she’s not you.  She’s not Breslin her Barack to help with your wedding.  But you did for hers and obviously not with a open heart.  She can’t afford to travel for your wedding but hello. She just paid for a wedding and probably has married life expenses. In addition why Gould she want to she’ll out money to attend a wedding of someone who obviously doesn’t like her. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    575 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @June232012: I found this out when I was weddding planning, that some people just take more than they give. It sounds like this is what is happening. But she is now a part of YOUR family. It was great that your family was helping out when hers did not, and I’m sure her wedding was better for it. I think you should just put into the relationship what you can from now on and not expect such a big return. If she can’t come to the wedding, she can’t. Of course she should come to the girl’s night out, don’t make a big crack in your relationship now since she is new to the family and all, but just take the relationship for what it is. 

    I don’t see the ring comment as all that negative, so would brush that off! πŸ™‚

    Post # 15
    Member
    11394 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    First off I will start with the ring comment.

    It all depends on matter of tone. If she said it in a nice way or interested way like “Ohhhhh, you have three stones, wow!” Then I would take it as a compliment. If she said it in a way like Oh. You have three stones, hmmmmm, I guess.” Then I would take it as she didn’t see a three stone ring as engagement material or anything other than a solitaire as engagement ring material for HER. But whatever she thinks doesn’t matter because as long as you love it that is all that matters! πŸ™‚ Next time if she says something about it or if you want to just talk about it say “I just love my ring, the three stones stand for past, present, future & I just find that so sweet!” Or something along those lines.

    As for the help, my maid of honor didn’t help me out with anything at all. At first I thought it was weird because that is what I usually see the Maid/Matron of Honor doing, helping. But once I figured out she was waiting for a proposal herself I started to see where she was coming from not wanting to help. Either way though, you usually give more than you get with these things. No one will care as much as you do about the planning. & Sometimes people just don’t like wedding stuff or don’t have the time.

    Her comment about costs seem a bit out there/rude. (if she is talking about what you are spending, that is.) I would never say that to someone even if they was spending 100k compared to my under 1000 dollar wedding. I would just brush it off as she doesn’t have a filter. If she goes on about cost again just say “We are paying for it & can afford it, we only get once to do this so we are going to spend however much we please.” Unless you mean she is saying she does not have enough to attend your wedding, even though you did hers. That you will just have to let go because you never know what someones bank account looks like. Even if they seem like they have alot of money because they shelled out alot for their wedding, rings, home, ect. They may not want to touch anymore in their savings for future matters. So just let it go & keep your chin up! πŸ™‚

    Post # 16
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee

    This is what you should have said back… “Yep, three’s a crowd!!” πŸ˜‰

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