(Closed) Tell me if I’m being a spoiled brat.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What should I do?
    Tell SO now and see what he thinks, and go from there : (41 votes)
    63 %
    Don't tell SO until May when ring shopping -- they may have restocked it by then anyway! : (7 votes)
    11 %
    Stop being a spoiled brat; forget about this setting and find something else when the time comes : (16 votes)
    25 %
    Other -- explain : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I know for me, Darling Husband would have been upset if I’d gotten too involved in the process.  He just really wanted to do it himself.  But, if you’re absolutely in love with the ring, I don’t think there’s too much harm in mentioning it, but I may let him stumble upon the “almost sold out and discontinued” information himself?

    Post # 4
    Member
    962 posts
    Busy bee

    @Kant: I would send in to him in a funny, lighthearted email and not bring it up again. That way you have dropped a subtle hint but you haven’t badgered the man. Men want to get us what we want, so I think you will be doing him a favor by letting him know what’s up

    Post # 5
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @SapphireSun: I agree!

    While we as brides get the whole wedding planning process to do what we want, this is the one time that the guy gets to do what he wants. He gets to plan the surprise, pick the ring, propose…why take that away from him. I think you might be getting too involved in the process.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Honestly, i think it may steal his thunder a bit for you to be pushing to buy the setting now. I wouldn’t worry to much about only loving this one ring. Plenty of people have had custom rings made. If this ring is no longer available when he is ready to  propose, then have one custom made for you using the picture.

    It would be good to show him a pic of the ring and say “he hunny, i really really like this one, just so you know” so he will be on the right track style wise

    Post # 7
    Member
    2893 posts
    Sugar bee

    If you have plans to go ring shopping anyways I don’t think it would hurt mentioning it. You don’t have to make a big deal about it. Just a simple, “Hey, I know we’re going ring shopping soon but I just found something online that I LOVE LOVE LOVE but it’s “sold out” online but I hear they still have a couple in stock. They just aren’t for sale online. What do you think?” Or something of the sorts. If you are hesitant about even ordering it at all, maybe you shouldn’t. You found one ring. There will be another. If you ordered this ring would you guys cancel the ring shopping trip? Because that’s something to consider. That moment when you go look together can be a great bonding moment and a moment not a lot of people get to experience.

    Maybe it’s a sign that they have a couple left just as you found it. Maybe it’s a sign this one isn’t meant for you. And you may find something in May that you love even more because you were able to see it in person and actually try it on. Good luck! Hope it goes well. Don’t worry too much. Everything always works out in the end.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @SapphireSun: I agree!

    While we as brides get the whole wedding planning process to do what we want, this is the one time that the guy gets to do what he wants. He gets to plan the surprise, pick the ring, propose…why take that away from him. I think you might be getting too involved in the process.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I guess it depends on your personalities and relationship.  I would totally bring it up, maybe in a lighthearted manner.  I know my Fiance is pretty slow when it comes to decision making so, giving him the heads up that it’s not going to be around much longer might help him.  Then again I also used to point to rings on billboards and tell him “that’s a very nice ring, if you’re ever thinking of asking anyone to marry you”.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think it depends on how your SO has been about the engagement ing. Mine has made it clear that he wants to surprise me. I have told im I want a round diamond but that’s it. I have also told our best “couple” friends some rings i like. If you SO is fine with you picking out your own ring, I’d say go for it. Just make sure you’re not stepping on his toes.

    Post # 11
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If it were me, I would at least show him the setting. You say you are very picky about rings, and you will be wearing it forever so you definately want to love it! At least if he sees the setting you love, he will know your style. There’s a chance that when you go ring shopping at the store in May, they won’t have anything comparable and you won’t be able to show him what you really want.

    I definately wouldn’t say “you have to buy me this ring!!” or anything, but I don’t think it will hurt to show him and see what he says. I found a ring that I liked at Zales when SO wasn’t there and I was just wandering around the store. It was EXACTLY the ring he had said he liked for me, and it was a great deal so I told him about it because I am ALL about saving money! In the end, that’s the ring I got!!! You never know, maybe he will surprise you with it!!! Good luck! (and p.s. you are not being a spoiled brat for knowing what you want and sharing it with your man! as long as you don’t force it on him!)

    Post # 13
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t agree with the majority of PPs. They’re basing their opinions on their guy, and clearly your guy is just fine with having you pick out the ring – and he’s letting you pay for half of it. So to me, there is nothing wrong with letting him know that you have found your dream ring but it’s being discontinued and you may need to buy it soon if you want a chance of getting it.

    I really don’t see the big deal in telling him, you’re not being a spoiled brat at all.

    Post # 15
    Member
    744 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would bring the matter up since it seems that you have already talked about ring shopping and so on, but I would also insist on the fact that it does not mean that he has to propose NOW! Tell him to keep the setting with him and don’t bring the matter up again until he actually does it on his own (as in asking you to go stone shopping or something). It definitely is one more step toward the wedding but he has to feel that it is still up to him to decide on when you will actually get engaged.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    I chose other because I was wondering if you had enough money yourself to buy it.  Then tuck it away for later, when the time is right, explain what you did, and why.

    This is ONLY if you are pretty darn sure it’s more important to him that you get a ring you’ll like, than have him pick it.

    The topic ‘Tell me if I’m being a spoiled brat.’ is closed to new replies.

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