Post # 1
I never though the Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties would be what Fiance and I fought about almost a year away from the wedding, but that’s what it’s looking like.
We very rarely fight, but one of the Groomsmen is planning to take Fiance away for almost a week for the Bachelor Party. I’m upset, because it’ll be a month before the wedding and I’m having a hard enough time getting approval to take time off from work for the Honeymoon.
I think 5 days is overkill for the Bachelor Party. What could they possibly need to do for 5 days? And Fiance admitted it would be hard to get the time off. But he still said he’s going to try. So, he’ll be away for almost a week in February and then the following week he’s off anyway for President’s Week since he’s a teacher (the Groomsman has something specific planned, so he can’t move it to the week Fiance already has off) and I can’t even get the time off for my Honeymoon.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit jealous. But aside from that, I asked Fiance, “Do you think it’s fair that you’re away for five days for a Bachelor Party to CELEBRATE your last few weeks before you’re married and I can only do something for a day or two on the weekend?” He said, “Yes.”
I stormed out of the room like a moron. But before I did that, I said, “It’s so stupid. I’m going to spend a day getting massages and manicures while you spend a week looking at girls’ breasts.”
I feel immature, but this is really bothering me. I don’t know how to just be okay with it.
Post # 3
@csteen85: Ok…so, I think that you’re being somewhat petty, HOWEVER, I would do the same thing so I’m the wrong person to probably ask for advice haha! My husband’s guys took him to Miami for like, 4 days, and I have to admit, I was furious and dramatic and yadda yadda. But…he had a really good time, and I was happy seeing him happy at the end of at all. Remember, he’s still yours even if he’s not home with you…let the boys spoil him a bit! Who knows…they might even totally behave themselves! 🙂
Post # 4
I understand your jealous of your FI’s vacation time. But since him taking time off for the Bachelor party isn’t taking away from any joint activities you have planned, I think you should just let him go and enjoy. Why don’t you try to plan some fun girls activities while he’s going? Like a romantic movie night, or wedding DIYs, spa, etc. That way you can both truly enjoy.
Post # 5
To be honest, I wouldn’t be thrilled about it either. We don’t take separate vacations! I feel like 5 days seems excessive for a bachelor party.
Post # 6
@msfahrenheit: Yeah, this is probably the way to go. It’s just been so hard. I feel like I’m working so hard and I started a new job, so it’s like all my accumulated vacation reset itself. I hardly take time off, but this company doesn’t know that, because I’ve only worked for them for less than three months. So, I can’t just be like, “oh, and I need a week off for a Bachelorette and two weeks off for a Honeymoon, oh, and don’t forget, our best friends are getting married at a semi-destination, so I’ll need time off for that.”
I hate these stupid Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties. They’re such a joke. And someone always winds up being hurt.
Post # 7
Yea I know what you mean. Starting a new job and having to prove yourself all over again really stinks and vacation time is especially tough since most jobs are so stingy with it.
Post # 8
I’m sorry 🙁 I kind of know how you feel. My husband has about three times more vacation days than I do, and I’ll never catch up. He gets extra holidays off around 3 day weekends too, like the Friday off before a Monday holiday. It sucks. It’s not fair. He goes on long weekend trips sometimes to see friends that I can never go on.I’ve learned to deal, because as much as I love him, it’s good to have time to myself.
Yes, this sucks. Yes, it’s unfair. Try, try to not let it bug you. You’re going to be in an unequal vacation day situation for awhile probably, until you build up time at your new job, and so you’re going to have to deal with the fact that he’s going to want to take off the time that he has for quite some time.
And I know it’s gotta be hard that he gets to take this amazing long trip for his Bachelor party, while you obviously can’t do the same- but I guarantee you that he will miss you a lot more when he’s gone for 5 days than you will him when you’re on your Bachelorette. 🙂
Post # 9
I think you’re being petty. He just wants to have a fun time with his guy friends, I don’t think bachelor parties are really about “celebrating being single” anymore. He’s allowed to have 5 days away from you.
TBH, I would be kind of jealous too lol. My Darling Husband had an awesome weekend long bachelor party, I didn’t have a bachelorette at all.
Post # 10
Lol, right or not, I would be super jealous and have a major WTF moment if my Darling Husband had done that 🙂 I agree with PP who said to try to pamper yourself during that week. Maybe set an equal amount of money aside for yourself that he’s getting to spend on his bachelor extravaganza– then completely spoil yourself! Just my opinion, it sounds like you’re trying really hard to be level headed and fair about it. Good luck!
Post # 11
I’m on your side, OP. I think a five day bachelor party is more than overkill. If my husband had asked for TWO days, I think I would have said hell to the no, let alone FIVE?!
I personally have no tolerance for the typical bachelor party, though. My husband went golfing with his buddies, then they had a LAN Party, (for those of you who aren’t computer nerds, it’s basically a bunch of people getting together to play computer or console games).
Post # 12
I don’t think you’re being petty; I would feel the exact same way.
Post # 13
5 days seems a bit much to me too…would they consider shortening it to just 2 or 3 days?
Post # 14
I would be OK with it. My Fi is out backcountry skiing in Alaska with some buddies for 2 whole weeks. It’s not his bachelor party it’s just a vacation he really wanted to do and I wasn’t able to tag along due to my commitments. I’m at home working on my thesis and working full time and taking care of the dog. It’s nice that he’s gone only so I can focus on my thesis. I went to Mexico with a girlfriend for a whole week last year. It’s OK to have separate trips as long as they all aren’t separate!
I say treat yourself to a massage and manicure though!
Post # 15
@sienna76: To me, it’s one thing to go on a trip. But a Bachelor Party?? For 5 days??? In the middle of the most hectic part of the Wedding Planning and a month before we’ll be gone for our Honeymoon?
Post # 16
5 days is very excessive for a bachelor’s party.