(Closed) Tell Me I'm Doing the Right Thing…

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
855 posts
Busy bee

First of all, congratulations!

I think you are doing an AMAZING thing. It can be so hard to let go of a vision you’ve had in mind.. but think about how much you’re already doing for this little baby!

You’re going to be a great mother. And it’s so lovely to see someone be truly selfless – epecially regarding their ‘big day’.

You can have the winter wedding further down the line – even if it’s only a few of you to celebrate.

OR what about a winter christening? (if you’re going down that route) – best of both worlds!

Post # 4
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Why not have your wedding this winter? Darling Husband and I had to plan our wedding in less than one month because he was offered a job out of state. It was a small wedding with about 35 guests and a budget of $3000. It turned out beautifully for us. It’s not easy, but it’s totally doable!

Post # 5
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble

I was due in Sept of this year, and we never changed our date of NYE. It’s doable if you want it to be. And how much you need to save for a baby, really depends on your lifestyle. We figured we’d need MAYBE $400 in furniture(crib and mattress, really), and then each month til birth, buy diapers/wipes and clothing. I did that with my son, and I can’t say me and XH ever really “felt” the amount we spent, b/c we just automatically added it into our shopping lists.

But, whether you’re doing the right thing, is up to you and your FH. How does he feel about it? Otherwise, you have to do what’s best for all of you. Good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Post # 6
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it sounds like a great idea! Weddings are damned expensive (I wouldn’t be having one if fiance didn’t have his heart set on it). Making sure you have enough money for the baby sounds like a great decision.

Post # 7
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@BridieBea:  Congratulations!


I second the idea of a Winter Christening. In fact, I saw some photos recently where a couple had done a joint wedding and christening, which looking like good fun!

Post # 8
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

to start with congrats

and you will be such a loveing mum to put your babby first , i think you might be able to have a wedding maybe just with out all of the frills . but if you think you need to save then good on you for haveing a level head about this.


Post # 9
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Personally, I’d still want to get married before the baby arrives (but granted I realize that is probably more about my comfort level)

At any rate…

Why not get married now anyhow… do something small (Elope – Courthouse etc)

AND then after the baby comes, you guys can think about having a larger “family celebration”… either combined with the Christening, First Birthday… or other occasion.

Weddings… the Ceremony part anyhow, don’t have to be elaborate or expensive.

And the Reception part… whenever that might be… can be whatever you want (and your pocketbook) can afford.

Hope this helps,


Post # 10
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@BridieBea:  Sounds like a very smart and well thought out decision.  If any part of you does want to get married before the babe comes, though, like other PPs said, you could go the courthouse route. But then you could do a vow renewal in a few years, and really do it up so you still get to have the wedding you always wanted.  I personally had a really small wedding-30 guests, just family.  We got married in Central Park (the permit cost $25) and it was just beautiful.  I wouldn’t have changed a thing.  So you can have your cake and eat it too!

Post # 12
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I definitely think you’re doing the right thing, especially since being a parent means making responsible decisions for the good of your family. I think you will find that not having a baby with wedding bills or debt will help you financially in the long run.  

Post # 13
441 posts
Helper bee

I think you made a very responsible and selfless decision. Could you and your Fiance have a legal ceremony (I see you’re in Scotland, so I’m not sure how it works there) before the baby comes and then have your dream winter wedding when you guys feel financially ready.

Post # 14
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You are doing the right thing. You will feel so much better bring able to focus on your pregnancy, delivery, and your child. Darling Husband and I waited until Dirty Delete (unplanned) was 27 months to have our wedding. It was also wonderful to have her as an active participant in the ceremony and wedding – we have some great stories 🙂


Post # 15
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

i think its a great idea to save the money for the baby, but however i would still do a very small intimate wedding with family before the baby arrived (but thats just me). Something do-able, small and affordable. Your starting a new chapter in your life with a family, why not be married before you bring  new life into the world?? 

but on the financial aspect, I totally agree with you. Weddings are too expensive and why not keep all that money for when the baby arrives.


Post # 16
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I guess I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be able to still pull off a 2015 wedding. I am five months now and still have plans to keep the wedding I have been planning for October. I understand that there are many expenses with a child, but saving a few hundred here and there would still work for 2015. My cousin with a three year old just got married this past year and had a very beautiful wedding. Her and my wedding are not huge extravagant events. I don’t know how much she spent but I would estimate not much more than I am going to which is 10,000.

Once again, I know having a child is going to take a lot more money, but there is no reason why you shouldn’t still have a nice wedding. A child does mean many a sacrifice but if you budget well, this doesn’t have to be one of the sacrifices.

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