(Closed) tell me not to care please….

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think you are a bitch for thinking that, I would probably think it too.  But really nothing productive can come from thinking about this.  Did she tell you how much the gift for this other person cost or did you just figure it out from what it is?

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

Do you know she spent that, or that is what the gift “cost”. IE at Macys with sales and coupons its not uncommon to get something for more than 50% off the original cost of the gift. Maybe that is what she did.

Post # 6
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hm. Could it be possible that your Maid/Matron of Honor has spent a decent amount of money on being in your wedding, and had limited funds for your gift? I was my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor and let me tell you, it’s easy to forget how much money BMs spend. I considered her Bachelorette party and other expenses as part of her gift, and could only afford, like $30 for her actual shower gift.

Post # 7
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Is this other girls wedding a DW?

Post # 8
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly, she’s probably spending a ton of money to be in your destination wedding. Maybe spending more on the other friend’s gift was her way of making things fair.

I would try to move past it, but I’m sorry you’re hurt.

ETA: In other words, I agree with magicpotato :).

Post # 10
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Maybe she got a killer sale?  The Bay in Canada (which is kind of similar to Macy’s) often has 70% off sales.  One of my bridesmaids worked there while we were wedding planning, and she’d stalk my registry and them email people that she knew were planning to buy me gifts when they came up super cheap.

Actually, my mom called me one day, and she was like… OMG, someone just bought every towel on your registry; that’s like $500!  Totally her, with 70% off, and her employee discount.

ETA: Point being, maybe she bought something off your registry that’s a brand that never goes on sale or something, but she knew you’d really love, whereas she bought whatever was the best deal off your friend’s registry.

Post # 12
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I tried to explain it away, but I guess if you know the price that may not have happened.

Maybe she feels like friend #2 needs more stuff than you do?  It’s totally petty, but I noticed that my 21 year old cousin that got married a few months before me typically got bigger gifts than I did from the same people (we’re fairly established, late 20’s) because people really felt like they were “helping her set up her house”.

However, if you’re the one whose friend hijacked your destination wedding and tried to even make you let her use your ring pillow… I have no more answers for you.

Post # 14
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

She probably found a gift she had really wanted to give that one particular girl. She’ll likely spend less on the wedding gift for her because of it. Mom always told me that everything works out even in the end! Which, of course, is horse manure. Still, get over it! Your friend knows you’re cool with it or she wouldn’t have told you.

Post # 16
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@frustrated: Wait, she handed out wedding invites on the same night as your wedding shower?? … I can only imagine the steam rising at that point, and then just building up, so I can completely understand why you feel the way you do about your MoH spending more on her gift than on yours. You said she had been out of town though before the wedding shower, so at the time it could be possible that she went over her budget while out of town??

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