- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
In my first post ever on this board a few days ago, needless to say..I was pissed off..bad. My bf’s brother got engaged not too long ago, and I found myself super jealous! Normally I’m a happy person, and am extremely happy about the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I just wanted to take a few minutes to talk about all the things I love about him, and remind myself why I’m waiting..
First off, I’m glad we’re even dating to begin with..and here’s why: Before even our first date (we hadn’t admitted that we even liked eachother at this point..even though it was super obvious), we had gone to a concert out of town with our mutual friends, but instead of riding with them, he offered to drive me because I had been planning on visiting my sister afterwards where she goes to college. It just so happened that his brother goes to the same university as my sister..so we had an excuse to ride together!
Well, needless to say, from where the concert was to my sister’s place was about an hour and a half drive..so there was plenty of time to talk. We eventually admitted that we liked eachother; and that’s when I did what I had never had the guts to do with a guy before dating him before: Laying out my expectations of what I want out of a relationship, and if he didn’t agree with EVERYTHING I said, then it was going to be over before it even began.
I’m going to try to remember the mojority of things I said..just to have some examples..
“I have been in enough relationships to know what I want, and definitely know what I don’t want, so I’m going to tell you some of those things, and hopefully you’re ok with that..” so I told him..
“I’m looking for a relationship that is going somewhere, if you don’t think we could have the potential to someday get married and have kids, then I’m the wrong person for you.”
“I will dump you if you smoke or dip” (both are sooo nasty)
“I’m NOT going to date a guy who doesn’t make an effort with my family and friends..” (This one was a biggie, since I had dated a guy who everyone who was important to me hated)
“I want a guy who has a good relationship with his family”
“I want a man who respects me, supports me, and never makes me feel bad about myself”
“If you’re a jealous person, GET AWAY FROM ME NOW!!” (ok ok..didn’t say that exactly..but I CANNOT stand jealousy, it just shows insecturity and usually becomes emotionally abusive)
Needless to say, that was a big risk on my part..but at the same time, it showed what kind of man he is. He actually listened and AGREED with everything I said..and on top of that, told me later while we had been dating a while that it really impressed him that I really knew what I wanted and what my expectations were.
We’ve been dating over a year, and all I can say is that I fall more in love with him with each day that passes by. He makes me a better person. I know that sounds really cheesy, but it’s true. He’s always the one telling me to give people the benefit of the doubt and getting me to look at the bright side of things. We still have our own identities (i.e. we’ve kept all our friends and go out together a lot, but he has “guy night” and I have “girl night” every once and a while) so we always have something to talk about!
Also, I love his parents (I would love them as my mother and father and law!), siblings, and friends.
So next time I catch myself in a “jealous of his brother getting engaged before us” rut..I need to remind myself of all of the good things about our relationship, heck..I may just read this post to make myself feel better!