- 11 years ago
- Wedding: October 2009
I LOVED our first look, so glad that we did it
I LOVED our first look, so glad that we did it
I really, really, really want to do a first look, but Fiance just refuses. I am a nervous person by nature, and I hate being the center of attention, so I would love to get some of the pressure off before the ceremony.
It would also help for logistical reasons – our ceremony doesn’t start until 7:30, and I would LOVE to get some pictures in daylight. Our photographer recommended a first look, but Fiance is adamant about not having one.
We DIDN’T do a first look, and we’re glad that we didn’t. The emotion I felt when I first saw my husband was absolutely amazing. And we still had our private picture time…it was just after the ceremony. And to be honest, I’m glad we had the downtime in between the ceremony and reception. It was just very hectic and I needed a few minutes with him before we walked into our reception.
I’m soooo glad we did first look! It was so more intimate! We had that time to ourselves (minus photographer lurking in the woods) to really be in the moment & express our true emotions. Plus I was nervous about the ceremony & it really helped take the edge off for me. My husband calms me & seeing him was what made me enjoy our ceremony. I was able to take it all in & really BE THERE!
Of course it is a very personal decision
@CorgiTales: There is no wrong or right way!
On your wedding day you are so unbelievably happy that I think Brides will be happy with either route they choose.
For me the first look and walking down the aisle were so different. The first look was relaxed and an intimate moment between me and my groom. We just giggled and discussed logistics (LOL because it was raining and we decided to move our ceremony indoors during the first look). Whereas walking down the aisle is…. unreal. I couldn’t take my eyes off my groom and we felt like we were the only ones there during the whole ceremony. Actually, an ambulance drove right by during the ceremony and it’s really loud on the video but I didn’t even know it happened until I watched the video.
I don’t think you will be disappointed if you decide to go either way. However, I understand that it would be frustrating to want something that your Fiance is dead set against.
All I can recommend is that if you don’t do a first look try and set up some time where you can be alone (maybe with your photographer). My favourite parts of my wedding day was when I was alone with my husband.
We did one, and because we are both shy people by nature, I think it really helped us. I wasn’t nervous at all for the ceremony, and I am usually nervous about everything!
If it helps at all, my aunt did not do a first look and her photo schedule right after the ceremony went something like this:
bride/groom with BMs and GMs
bride/groom with parents/siblings/other close family
After the BMs/GMs and family were done taking photos with the bride and groom we were all sent inside to enjoy the cocktail hour. The bride/groom were now alone (well alone with the photog) and were able to enjoy some precious moments together as husband and wife. THAT’S the feeling that I’m going for by not doing the first look.
We didn’t do a first look because we both wanted the church aisle to be the first place we saw each other HOWEVER our best man convinced DH that he was supposed to wait until I was halfway up the aisle (a LONG aisle!) to turn around so I was walking up thinking – why the heck isn’t he turning around????
I was very happy that we did ours the way we did and if you decide to wait until the ceremony just make sure he turns around! It’s DH’s one regret about our whole day!
I personally dont want to do the first look. But unfortunately, one hour before walking down the aisle, we have to go to the city hall first, so he will see me first there. 🙁
Not to be rude but this debate is getting just about as old as the “Diamond” debate…your “First look” is the same wether you do it outside BEFORE the ceremony or AT the ceremony its still the FIRST tiem you see your DH….everyone who didnt do a first look says stuff like ” coming around the corner in the church and seeing him there for the first time, the suprise and tears…it was amazing.” GUESS WHAT…you get that to BEFORE the ceremony, you come around a garden gate (or whatever) and see your DH for the first time and cry and hug and feel like the only two people in the world…same difference.
When it comes down to it..i think its just a time thing. We chose to do a first look bc it saved out wedding party having to fend for themselves during an akward 3 hour break between the ceremony and reception. That was it, that was all. The moment was just as special, we felt like the only two people blah blah blah.
No one is ever going to know if a first look would have been better or if they would have preferred waiting for the aisle. You can either try to convince you Fiance that a first look is better or you can let him have his way. Either way everyone does what works for them. From what I’ve seen/read most guys who are dead set on waiting for the ceremony get their way. Most men have so little input about how the wedding day turns out that is seems only fair to honor a request that important to them. Thankfully my Fiance and I are on the same page about doing a first look.
We did not do a first look and I cant say Im glad we didnt because I dont know what its like to do one! You cant really compare one to the other because no matter what you do you are going to love what you did!
For those who have a first look they love that their make up was fresh, that they felt they had more intimate/private moments and were able to go to their cocktail hour. (summarizing what Ive read before)
For those who did not have a first look they love that they saw their groom for the first time while walking down the aisle and felt they got a special moment, they loved that emotions were very high, they did not necessarily care about cocktail hour or maybe they had a large gap in between ceremony and reception AND they still got to take plenty of pictures!
I dont think you can really be disappointed either way because its your wedding day! If you are worried about private time – I had lots of it. We took our photos right after our ceremony and we started with family, then did us and our Bridal Party then it was just us. We had about 45 minutes of alone time with just us and our photographers. It was very private and intimate and it was awesome because we had just gotten married so our private time was actually while we were husband and wife. We walked around, we took pictures, we kissed, held hands, talked about our days, reveled in the newness of our marriage – it was AWESOME! I know a lot of first look brides say they loved it because they got private/intimate time but Im just telling you that you dont need a first look to have that!
@Baileyh: I don’t think anyone is saying one way is the “right” way, we’re just saying what we did and if it worked for us. I’m glad the first look worked for you! It just wasn’t an option for us, and we preferred it that way. It sounds like the OP is looking for someone who had the first look who had a bad experience…and it sounds as if no one did, and that speaks for the first look itself!
No matter which you choose, it will be the right choice for your and your Fiance, and neither is wrong. No debate needed!
@2PeasinaPod: agreed! Its not really a debate because there is no right or wrong way! Its kind of the same with do you cut the cake before or after your first dance or before or after dinner. Everyone does it differently and you can try to say this one is better or that one is better but no one really knows because all they know is what they have done!
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