(Closed) Tell me you REGRET your first look

posted 11 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 47
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

1. It’s going to be a great moment whenever it is.

2. You can have convenient schedules with either one.

3. You can have alone time with either one.

4. You can have great pictures with either one.

Whatever works best for you! Personally, I wouldn’t be completely satisfied with a first look, and we’ll be saving that moment for the ceremony. It will give us both the best ceremony experience possible (as in, keeping the focus on our vows, not taking pictures), and actually works out better with the schedule as well. 🙂

Post # 48
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve found this thread very informative as well, thanks OP!

Post # 49
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@cabanagrl9: Haha I was thinking the same thing… Fiance and I live together and uh, yeah, we have sex… but we still aren’t doing a first look!

Post # 50
Member
27 posts
Newbee

Either way it is still a ‘first look’ a the ceremony or before hand it is the first time you see one another.

I always think ‘first look’ (preplanned, not at the ceremony) look staged and fake to me, that’s why we chose to skip it. 

Post # 51
Member
1713 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You already have a lot of responses, so I will keep it short.

We are planninga first look due to the limited time we will have at the venue! And since we live together, we are kind of already used to seeing each other everyday, so separating the night before and not seeing each other until our first look is going to be a challenge in itself! So I think its going to be just as special, if not even more so, and you’ll have some time to just yourselves. It seems thats one of the biggest motives for it, to have that personal intimacy while you can, before you have to HOST at the reception! I think I need that Pre-Ceremony time with him to collect myself, he’s my better half and without him I cant focus! lol And I rather weep and ball in front of him and not my guests lol…I am sure there will still be plenty of emotions throughout the ceremony!

Blessings!!

Post # 52
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think this is a really interesting question–is there anyone out there that actually regrets doing a first look? 

We’re not going to do a first look, he doesn’t want to and we’ll have plenty of time (too much time, in my opinion) between the ceremony and the reception.  

BUT to answer the OP, when I asked my mom about this she said “I saw your dad before the ceremony and look where it got us.” lol.  She was laughing as she said it btw, they got divorced about a year ago and she’s not superstitious. 

Post # 53
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2021 - Oakland Manor

This won’t help… but I for sure regret NOT doing a first look!

Post # 54
Member
4211 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@dorsay: wow! Is there a reason why? The only regret I have about things I didnt do is videography!

Post # 55
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think this a personal choice that each couple should make together.

Personally? We didn’t want to do a first look and we didn’t…I’m happy that the first time my husband saw me was infront of our family and loved ones and God. But I also can understand and respect that for others, one on one is more special.

Post # 56
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@dorsay: Yes, do tell! It sounds like there’s some dirt there. 😛

Post # 57
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@cabanagrl9: it’s just this idea that you will see your Fiance ‘for the first time’ and it’s silly really. Silly to me. I could see if you didn’t live together and you were waiting until marriage to have sex…then you are probably traditional. But if you are living together and already having sex, what’s the point of spending the night a part or seeing your fiance for the first time while you walk down the aisle? I don’t know, it just reminds me too much of arranged marriages where it was true that they were seeing each other for the first time.

I have no problem whatsoever with couples who wait, *I* just don’t see the big deal because we see each other everyday. I’ll just be in a dress and he’ll be in a suit. I don’t think his look will be any less meaningful if it’s before or during the ceremony. I know my Fiance. His look will probably be much more emotional in private than it would be infront of his dad and family.

Post # 58
Member
6377 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have to admit, I agree with everything all the pro-first lookers have said and that’s because Fiance and I are planning on doing a first look. I posted a thread a few weeks ago asking for opinions on it and the comments were over whelming. Nearly everyone told me that their first look was their favorite part of the whole day. Considering this is a day where cake is involved, that means something! =)

Our reasons behind doing the first look are basically the same as the PP’s…

1. We want that time alone together (well, with the photog but he’s good at blending into the background) before all the craziness of the day ensues.

2. We have A LOT of pictures on our “must get” list so having a FL will give us plenty of time to get all of these without having to rush.

3. I am an emotional train wreck. Seriously, I teared up reading some of the PP’s! God, I’m so lame. Getting even a fraction of those emotions out before walking down the aisle is a must for me. I am NOT an attractive crier!

4. FOOD! We are paying too much money for our cocktail hour to not enjoy it. I’ve never participated in a wedding that had a FL therefore we always missed the entire cocktail hour. Sure, a waiter would bring some hor d’ourves out to us while taking pictures but in every single instance they were cold and yucky. We’re paying big bucks for our hor d’ourves and dammit, we’re going to enjoy them.

5. Spending time as a bridal party without 100 other guests. The first half of our first look will be just Fiance and I but after those pictures are done, we will be doing our bridal party pictures. These individuals are part of our bridal party because they are our nearest and dearest and we want to be able to spend some time on our special day with just them. Sure, Fiance will be with his guys most of the day and I’ll be with my girls but we wont be together as a group which is important to us.

Originally when I saw this post I wasn’t going to comment since you specifically asked for people who regret doing the FL. Since seeing everyone else comment on the reasons they did or are doing theirs, I decided to jump on board. There really is no right or wrong way to do this but for us, first look is the way to go. The above reasons are just too important to us to sacrifice. Regardless of what you choose, your “first look”, whether it be a few hours before your ceremony or as you are walking down the aisle, will be special.

On an unreated note, why are all my comments always so long?! Once I get going, I just cant stop! Thanks for sticking around, if ya did. =)

Post # 59
Member
1713 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Violet, that makes me sad :/

 

Post # 60
Member
4211 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Miss Tattoo: This is interesting because Dh and I lived together for close to 3 years before we got married and we had already had sex but neither of us wanted to do a first look. Actually my husband scoffed at me when I told him the premise!

The thing is I dont necessarily think its about being traditional or not but I think its what you have pictured in your mind. For a lot of brides and grooms they have always imagined the moment of meeting eyes for the first time on their wedding day as the bride is walking towards her groom. Because of this preconceived idea of how things are “supposed” to be they continue with that tradition.

The first look is a VERY new wedding “tradition” (except in instances where there is always a first look of sorts like Orthodox Jewish ceremonies) so I think a lot of brides (even those who are non traditional in other ways) havent had a lot of time to get used to this idea or to get this idea as the one they have always dreamed of!

Post # 61
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@PitBulLover: I think for us, it’s because we are no where near traditional and have been toying with the idea of walking down the aisle together. Or maybe he could meet me halfway and we walk the rest together. I don’t know. It’s all symbolism to me. lol I think my feminist side is speaking too loudly right now. I usually try to avoid doing things because of what traidition says it’s suppose to. I think Emily Post would have been more laid back if she got laid once in a while. 😛

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