Tell me your experience as someone in an interracial relationship

posted 2 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 16
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

I’m Mulatto and my man is Caucasian. mixed family reactions, then again what would my parents have expected they were an interracial couple as well.

Post # 17
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m white and he is Chicano. No one has ever been outright racist or terrible to us, sometimes there are jokes made about the others culture from both sides but it’s all in good fun and not malicious. There was/is a learning curve about cultural aspects of both sides, and just how things are different with the cultures we were raised in.

The most aggression I’ve ever seen about it had come from another Hispanic woman who seemed to have some issue with us. We once had a waitress at a restaurant that was outright hostile to Darling Husband, to the point I had to ask him if he knew her or something. To be fair, she wasn’t really hostile to me (or it could be I’m just hard to upset) but she really let Darling Husband have it. Among my favorite parts she ranted at him for not finishing his food then refused to take my debit card to pay for our meal and asked him why he the hell he wasn’t paying. For a minute I thought I had a sister wife I never knew about!

Post # 18
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I’m white and my SO is North Indian. My super conservative grandparents were thrown for a loop, and my grandfather was sort of a dick about it for a minute, but honestly we’ve had no real issues. Interactions are sort of weird as far as his extended family goes because I don’t speak the language (yet), but no one has been explicitly rude.

A drunk guy yelled at us from a car that we were a beautiful couple one time, but that’s really about it. I honestly did expect people to be more weird about it, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised.

Post # 19
Member
4533 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

chels90 :  Ive never really thought about it because I live in a pretty multicultural place where it is common to see different cultures together.

My hubby is Eurasian and I’m white of European heritage. Husband is quite dark in comparison to me but the only place its ever gotten a second glance was on our honeymoon in Indonesia. We stayed in a room that gave you a personal concierge/ butler. On the last day the guy finally got up the courage to ask about husbands background. He let slip that himself and other hotel staff  had been talking and trying to work out his parentage!!

As for family and friends, everyone has was very supportive. My husband did have a hard time at school because of mixed heritage. He went to a school where kids hung out with their ethnic groups and didn’t associate with others. He said he wasn’t accepted by the Asian kids and he wasn’t accepted by the European migrant kids either. He said he formed  friendships with other kids he called misfits like me. It makes me sad that it was like that for him but I think younger kids are different and things have shifted for the better in this regard.

I’m honestly looking forward to seeing what our babies look like due to the mix of genes in the pool!! I also can’t wait for my Hubby’s brother to gave kids with his Scottish red headed girlfriend!! How cute will that little one be!!!

Post # 20
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I am Asian, and Darling Husband is multiracial. Both our families have been super welcoming. I don’t think we’ve had any negative interactions with other people either because of our race. 

Post # 21
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My husband is from Hong Kong, I’m Hispanic (but light skinned so strangers have no idea what I am, they typically think I’m Italian). The reaction from my family was pure joy. Dominicans like when their daughters marry certain races (ahem because of stereotypes). My friends thought nothing of the race thing, we’re in NYC where interracial relationships aren’t weird at all. But we do get weird reactions from older strangers, I notice people staring at us or treating us as if we’re not a unit. It doesn’t happen often enough to bother me but it is noticeable.

Edit: OH actually I remember one weird moment during my bachelorette. A Long Island couple asked me about my wedding, they were interested in all this stuff and kept asking questions. Then they asked where my (then fiancé) is from. I said he’s from Hong Kong and their tone changed. The husband went “you’re from Ny, and he’s Chinese?!” And I went “yes?” And they said “well good luck with your wedding!”, and that was that, Wtf.

Post # 22
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

I’m Asian and he’s white. His parents are but from the midwest so I was met with VERY mild surprise in the very beginning but that was it. I think they just never thought he was attracted to Asian girls, not that there was anything wrong with it. My best friend is a thin blonde white girl and she just married her black husband. Wonderful people. His family has never really been in the picture and her family has all but adopted him into the family. I think they see more blatant racism when they go out (not where we are in California) but when they travel to other parts of the US. I don’t know the details though.

Post # 23
Member
3446 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’m black and Darling Husband is white. There haven’t been any issues with our families or friends and I didn’t expect that there would be. We both grew up around people who are very open-minded and used to being around interracial couples. 

It’s strangers who sometimes stare or give odd looks, and as a PP mentioned, we’re sometimes treated as if we’re not together. We haven’t experienced any outwardly hostile reactions when we’ve been out together, but we’re also in an area where interracial couples aren’t uncommon.

Post # 24
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Well both of us have been part of an interracial family me more so than him since his family is only interfaith and mine is both interfaith and interracial. People don’t really have a problem with our relationship because legally we have the same religion and since we can both pass for white-ish or something. 

Post # 25
Member
3545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

chels90 :  I’m black and my husband is white, both American. Our families have been nothing but loving and receptive, and I’m grateful for that. We have some cultural differences, but I look forward to starting our family and giving our children the opportunity to learn about both parts of their heritage. I never notice people staring at us/giving us negative looks in public, but my husband claims to. I’m not really focused on whether or not people are looking at me, though. More than anything, people tell us that we’re a beautiful couple, and I’m grateful that the majority of people around me seem to have moved past the notion that we should all stick to our “own kind”. 

Here’s a picture just for fun 🙂 

Post # 26
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

Asian/white couple here. There are quite a few Asian/white couples where we live, so it’s no big deal. We never faced any racist comments about us dating or anything, and his family has been very warm and welcoming. Mine were against him at first, but not because of his race. We do have a lot of cultural differences though. I grew up in an immigrant family and lived in a very narrow world until I met him. The community I grew up in has a large number of immigrant families from China. Even though I lived in America all my life, I never got to experience those American customs till I stayed over with his family. It was really weird…like oh, this is what I see in American movies but never really experienced. 

Post # 27
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee

The people I know in interracial relationships don’t experience much as long as they stay in the cities. There are a couple incidents of the awkward sort of racist third cousin from Kentucky at family events, but otherwise nbd. 

Post # 28
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m white. Husband is asian. We live in a large city. His family was supportive and happy about our marriage. My parents were not supportive and we dealt with discrimination in the family. I’m not in contact with my family.

Our neighbors are all pleasant. We’ve never had any bad experiences with them. My husband hasn’t had any negativity from colleagues. I haven’t had blatant racist/prejudice responses from colleagues but some have given passive aggressive ones and some colleagues are nothing but positive. I’ve had some negative encounters with fellow students at school.

We’ve had negative and positive encounters with strangers while out in public. Some extreme and some less so.

It can be frustrating, sad, difficult, and at times frightening. Equally, it can be disheartening that there just isn’t much awareness about the struggles and issues in the US that many interracial couples still face. Ultimately, it all goes into race and xenophobia issues in the US. Overall, it’s just a part of the current reality we have to navigate as an interracial couple and it wouldn’t change my choice in being with my partner.

Post # 29
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I dated a mexican guy for about 4 years and I am white: my friends didn’t care about the differences on our ethnicities. But my family pretended it wasn’t a big deal but would always make comments. 

Post # 30
Member
1395 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I’m not sure I qualify as part of an interracial couple but I am Hispanic/white and my Fiance is white. I am first generation on my fathers side so there’s deffinitely an culture clash between my fi and my fathers family side. Most of them live in Central America anyways but when we do interact with family here in the US, they are welcoming and pleasant none the less. FIs family was a bit surprised to learn that I was half Hispanic because I look utterly white (light eyes/hair/skin).

My future in-laws sometimes make some rasist leaning jokes about cultures related to mine or other cultures. Sometimes I won’t say anything because I don’t want to cause tension between us, sad I know but I’ve had enough issues (unrelated to that) with them in the past. I’ve chalked it up to them living in a predominantly white suburb and being older and not outgrowing those views of the world. Even when we live next to a major city.

-sigh- hope everything works out for you OP!

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