Post # 1
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
i was married for 3 years and the divorce got nasty! i met my fiance when i was in the middle of my divorce (it was a long divorce-6 months) my fiance was my rock during my divorce he was there for me through everything! i didnt want to start dating so quick but something about him i just couldnt turn down being happy. well my ex husband and i own a house together and also a timeshare (no kids). we are foreclosing on the time share hopefully soon. so we talk maybe every other month for a split 5 seconds.. i dunno i just kinda feel like i should tell him im getting married in 10 days.. but then there is a part of me that says dont say anything..
ugh have any of you guys been in a similar situation?…
Post # 3
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
he’s an ex for a reason, you don’t owe him anything. Are either of you paying alimony? That would be about the only reason you would have to tell him
Post # 4
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
Why would you tell him? It’s none of his business and it’s not like you have kids together. the less he knows about what’s going on in your life the better.
Post # 5
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
nope dont tell him!!! if you dont have any children involved he doesnt need to know
Post # 7
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
so, 4 people have said yes, but didn’t respond to explain why???
Post # 7
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
so, 4 people have said yes, but didn’t respond to explain why???
Post # 8
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
@MrsSl82be: I said yes because I agreed with the point you said. I guess I wouldn’t tell him if there’s nothing attached, but the preface of “yes-especially if you still have some kind of ties with him” made me say yes. If anything, I would check with the attorneys who still might be handling your assets to ensure that you getting married doesn’t change anything in the divorce agreement. If it makes no difference in terms of legal proceedings or with foreclusing your assets then no, you have no obligation. I just wonder if there is some way (considering the divorce, from what it sounds like, was not amicable) he could use this new marriage against you.
Post # 9
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@NauticalBride2011: I get your point, which is why I asked about alimony. I definitely think its a good idea to discuss with her attorney, but not something to discuss with her ex.
Post # 10
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
I think telling him is the bigger person thing to do. He’ll probably find out eventually, so you may as well mention it and get it out of the way. A good way to do it would be in one of your phone calls, right at the end, just say something like, by the way, I just wanted to let you know that I’m getting married again. If he gets upset or starts yelling or something you can always hang up.
Post # 11
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
As long as you have no legal reason to tell him based on your shared assets – I wouldn’t. I’m not telling mine, though we still have some mutual friends on Facebook, so I’m sure he’s found out, but I didn’t make it a point.
As long as your lawyer finds no reason to, don’t worry about it.
Post # 12
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
I would talk to your attorney like a previous poster said and see if your marriage will affect the jointly owned property. If it does, then yes, I would tell him. If no, then I wouldn’t.
Post # 13
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
ok let me give you guys some feed back on the divorce.
we couldnt get along and agree on anything. he was threatning and a complete jerk. i was in the process of trying to find an attorney and then i lost my job. i could not get free help because we together owned too much so in other words i made too much money to qualify for free help.
so in the divorce he got the house- however my name is still on the house because he can not refinance it and can not get approved on the loan alone. i have tried everything i can to get my name off and nothing.
we split bills and called it good. as good as it could get.
i do not get any alimoney so really the only thing that ties us together is the house and timeshare since both our names our on them.
fiance and i just built a new house. the house is only in HIS name. we do not have any accounts together, nothing. im aware that fiance and i can not in any way get anything with the both of our names on incase ex was to foreclose on the house.
so i dont have an attorney to really ask about this. i guess i do have a job now so i could go ask for some legal help but i dont think any of this will affect me or fiance by getting married.
hope that little piece of info helps some.
Post # 14
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
I don’t know where you live, but many law schools have clinics where students volunteer. You could maybe see if they can help. But I would have someone look over your assets agreements just to make sure that there’s no way he can try to take things from you. Any legal bees have any advice?
Post # 15
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
There are also legal forums online – I would definitely find one and post your scenario and see what they say. If you and the ex don’t get along, I would definitely be ensuring previous to the new marriage that this can’t come back on you and your Fiance (and your new house or anything else).
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