(Closed) Telling friends to come to church and see us get married

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s rude to mention it to them outright. But if they specifically ask if they can come to the church, I think it’s fine to tell them yes.

Post # 4
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

If you truly only have family at your reception and it’s very small and people know it, I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Post # 5
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Personally I think it’s poor taste. Unless they bring it up first. I think if you can’t afford to host people after the wedding host something lowkey like a dinner party or bbq to celebrate with friends after the wedding is more needed.

Post # 6
Member
12953 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, I believe it is rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception.  Tiered receptions are generally in poor taste, and you are technically having a tiered reception.  I would not mention to people that they could come to the ceremony at all if you won’t host them at the reception, which is actually the way you thank guests for attending your ceremony.

Post # 7
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I was thinking since most of them really just want to see us get married and also see my dress the colors and flowers, that I might just verbally say “you can always come to the church if want to”

I hate to break it to you, and this is nothing against you personally, but your friends probably act more interested in these things than they actually are. Not many people, other than maybe your very closest family and friends, are excited to go to your wedding just to see the ceremony, and chances are if you extended this offer without them actually asking, they probably won’t even show up.

Post # 8
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It depends on where you live. My mom and Future Mother-In-Law thought I was nuts when I said it was rude, churches have an open door policy and everyone asks. If your friends bring it up, say that you would love for them to witness your vows, but the reception is family only. But don’t send out invitations or go out of the way to invite them.

Post # 9
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

A recap on Facebook would probably suffice for those who want to see your dress, wedding colors, etc. 

Post # 10
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I remember hearing from someone in my early 20s that anyone is welcome to go to a church ceremony, which was new to me.

I think they way it used to be done was an engagement announcement was done in the newspaper/church bulletin along with the ceremony details so those who would want to come would know.

If I really had to cut my guest list down, but there were people I would have liked at the ceremony I would probably mention it to the person I was closest to and get them to spread the word to the others within the same circle.

Post # 11
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@richabla:  I wouldn’t mention it, it is kind of in poor taste. Though if it was me, I’d probably be inviting more friends than family. Friends are people you choose, you’re just kind of stuck with family. 

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