Post # 1
So my boyfriend and I have been together about 9 months. I realized recently that I’m in love with him, but that word hasn’t been said yet. He told me a few months ago he had never been in love and “didn’t know if he believed in it because he felt like people say it too early”. So that scares me away from saying it, even though I really want to.
He is super affectionate, giving, treats me wonderfully and shows me that he has strong feelings, but I’m still scared to drop the L bomb. Any advice on how to do it?
Post # 2
I was just exactly like your boyfriend. My now-husband just waited me out and when I said it, he returned the sentiment. I felt pretty certain that he would.
While I don’t want to sound rude about it (and there’s no way to avoid it and still say what I think, lol) I feel like some people fall “in love” all the time, with every boyfriend/girlfriend. Others of us feel that’s not really possible and maybe others don’t truly know love. They eventually find out, but in the meantime they’ve said it to everyone they’ve ever dated. My previous boyfriend said it to me after a bad dream – it freaked me the hell out and helped cement my realization that we weren’t right for each other at all. I have only ever been in love with my husband and it was at least 2 years before I felt like I was ready to say so.
I think you have two choices: just say it with no more stalling and hope for the best, or wait him out – know you love him but be patient because you love him. Decide what your cutoff is for that, he could be a complacent person who never bothers – but give him a chance for now.
Post # 3
I think saying I love you for the first time in a relationship is a bit like farting for the first time in the relationship. Chances are you won’t plan when it happens, it just will.
If you feel it say it. But be prepared for it not to come back to you just yet. Some people take a little longer.
Post # 4
You could always ask him about how he feels about love to see if his sentiment has changed at all. If it hasn’t you might want to consider what that means to you. I wouldn’t be willing to wait years for a SO to tell me they love me. But I hate it when people throw it around like confetti, too. It sounds like you have a sweet man who shows you he cares for you with his actions and that’s precious.
Or you can tell him “It’s okay if you aren’t ready to say it back, but I want you to know that I love you.”