Post # 1
I’m going to try and throw this out there to see if anyone else has an idea. We have already planned our wedding and paid for it. It is a simple private ceremony because in the FH’s fam, we have to invite all family (whether we’ve ever met them or not) and that is just way too expensive (he has 40 in the US and the overseas relatives double that). My family is super teeny and will understand our decision. However, we’re trying to find the right explanation for why we couldn’t pay for that many people and it was best to go with the all or nothing method. We are inviting both our parents and that’s it. I don’t want to offend anyone, but I don’t feel we should be punished for not having the funds to pay for someone we don’t know to come to our wedding.
If you have any helpful, kind suggestions, please share
Post # 3
I’d just be honest and say you can’t realistically afford a wedding with all those guests.
Post # 4
@MrsJoon: I would let them know that this is what can be done and you can let them know that you all can celebrate with other family at a later date.
Post # 5
Well, after telling them, I found out this question is irrelevant. His family has offered to throw us the whole thing. I agreed out of willingness to make people happy and now I’m in a cluster with regard to the guest list because we are having
a)an “American” beach ceremony that is limited to 25 guests including bride, groom, bridal party, officiant and photographer (leaving 17 spots open)
b)a Persian Sofreh Aghd (Hubby to be is Persian) which I am now told is family only.
c) a reception
I pretty much have no clue who I can invite to what and we have people that are friends that we consider family that will feel upset to be not invited to the “family only” stuff…..ahhh being broke was much easier!
Post # 6
I have been to weddings where only family is invited to the cermony due to lack of space and everyone invited to the reception..
Would A & B right after each other with the reception following? It would be ‘hardest’ on you if you need to wear something specific for #2.
Post # 7
All 3 are back to back and I am wearing the same thing throughout. (Thankfully)
I just need to figure out who/how many at each part and then I can calm down I think.
In the scope of all of it, I have remained calm and gone alone for the ride. It’s one day and if the family wants it to look/be a certain way then I’m cool with it.
I emailed my mom in the midst of my panic and she was emailed back “We’re fine with whatever and so is the family, we’re just happy for you. Do what you want.”
Yay for mom!