Post # 1
My SO and I have been together for almost five years, and we have decided to move in together this summer. This isn’t something out of the blue. It’s actually something we’ve been planning for the past 3+ years, but the finances weren’t there since we were both in school. Now that he is graduated and has a full time job we feel that it is a much better time.
I am really excited about this new chapter in our relationship, but I am really nervous to tell my parents! I have been trying to drop hints here and there, but I don’t think they’re really getting it. The main reason that I am nervous is because of how they treated my sister when she moved out. Granted she didn’t do it the “right” way as she took a $10,000 loan out cosigned by her college to live off of since she didn’t have a job, and she gave them about 3 days notice of her moving out, but they still talk about how stupid she was to ever move out today (it was 5 years ago).
I am definitely not taking out a loan to live off of, and the place we are looking at isn’t even available until mid-July, but I know they will freak out because I definitely COULD stay at home for a few more years. I just don’t think anytime is going to be the “right” time for them, but it definitely is the right time for me. I just think no matter what your age you just know. I have this overwhelming feeling like I’ve overstayed my welcome at my parents’ house even though nothing has changed.
How did you bees tell your parents you were moving out of their house?
Post # 3
I was hesitant to tell my mother because she is the definition of a helicopter mom. If she had her way, my umbilical cord would still be attached.
I visited my (then) boyfriend last May for 3 weeks. I was talking to mom in the terminal to fly back home (He lived in Oklahoma, I was in California) that I couldn’t be without him. I told her that when he came back home (to California where he originally lived and where I met him) to get his stuff from his parent’s house, I was going back with him.
She took it better than I thought.
Just flat out tell them. “Mom, Dad, I’m moving in with [name.]”
I assume you’re a big girl and you can speak for yourself and what goes on in your life
Post # 4
I’m 25, I live in one side of a duplex with my boyfriend and my parents live in the other side, and own the house. Any time I remotely mention moving to our own place my mother gets upset and offended for some reason, so I stopped trying for now. Haha.
We pay almost no rent and we’re able to save 600$/month, so living so close to them benifits us for now.
If you think you’re ready to move out, and can cover all of the monthly expenses, it shouldn’t be an issue for them, parents over react, a lot, they just want to know you’re making smart choices. 🙂
I’d just sit them down and show them your plan, as long as you’re prepaired there is no reason for them to be upset over anything.
Post # 5
@Hyperventilate: LOL at the helicopter mom thing. My SO’s mom is just like that, and I actually thought she would be the difficult one to tell. She is “okay” with it, but she does seem to be trying to talk him out of it by telling him there’s no way that he will be able to afford it. We are even going to have a roommate at first to offset some costs, but that’s not good enough for her! haha
I think the only reason I’m afraid to say anything to my parents is because of the whole situation with my sister. Oh well, it has to happen eventually anyway. It’s just difficult with my parents because they talk about how I can stay here forever, live in the house when I’m married and raise my children there while they are still in the house as well. No thanks!
Post # 6
@beetee123: i moved out twice:
after college, i moved in with then BF.
then i had moved back home after that relationship ended to save money and it was closer to my new job. i stayed longer than planned. but when i was ready to buy a house of my own, i asked my mom is she would go house shopping with me.
she was sad for me to leave but i told her i needed to go, it was time.
Post # 7
My parents knew I was going to move out before I told them. They’re parents! Chances are, they’ve already guessed.
Post # 8
@Miss Jackrabbit: I’m hoping they are picking up on the hints, but I really am not so sure that they are!
Post # 9
I may not be the right person to ask. I just kind of hopped on a plane and never came back…
That wasn’t my intention. FI and I were in a long distance relationship, but I was never “allowed” to meet him until I was over 18. They finally relented (“our daughter’s been talking to this guy for four years”) and let me visit him. I was only supposed to stay for two weeks, but I was so heartbroken when it came time to leave that they let me stay for two months. A few months after that, I came back. This time, they got me a one-way ticket so I could come home when I felt like it. I never did. A few months down the road, I told them I was going to live up here and start a life with him.
If they’re those kinds of parents, who just don’t want to see their children go, they might have picked up on your hints but choose to ignore them, haha.
Post # 10
I moved out quite young – I had just turned 17 and I moved in with my ex. I had a pretty crappy home life so I think my parents were ready to kick me out if I hadn’t said I was moving.
You’ve been with your SO a long time and you’re financially stable – chances are your parents have been anticipating this for a while! They will probably be happy for you. They might miss you and be a bit clingy at first, like calling you a lot, but they’ll get used to it.
Post # 11
No time like the present to start setting healthy boundaries with the parents! Good luck, I hope it goes well, and congrats on moving forward :-).
Post # 12
@crayfish: thank you! Hopefully it all works out!