(Closed) Telling people about the wedding

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You tell them, let them be happy for you, and then mention that you are going to have a very small, intimate wedding.  🙂  They will understand!!!  And if they don’t, that is completely their problem and not yours!!!  I wouldn’t over stress about this – this is a very happy time in your life, enjoy it!

Post # 4
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i agree completely with @teacherbride99. I don’t think everyone expects to be invited either.. don’t sweat it.  🙂

Post # 5
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have the same problem. When I tell some one I’m getting married some of them automatically think they are invited. I always get “Do you have a date for you wedding yet” I say, “Yes June 12, 2010” they say, “Yeah I think that date works for me I’m pretty sure I can make it”. Or one time I got “Invite me to your wedding” but they didn’t give me the address or anything. Then some people ask out of curiosity if it will be a big wedding or a small wedding. I say small so they don’t invite them selves. I think it’s so rude when people assume they will be invited to my wedding. Although I will most likely make the ceremony open to church members if they want to attend.

Post # 6
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I had that problem with a few people.  Fortunately it was all on facebook so I just ignored it.  I’d just tell them you’re engaged and if they ask about any details, tell them you’re having a very small intimate wedding.

Post # 7
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh face book. This guy I had a class with in High School a decade ago assumed he was invited to my wedding. Seriously? I just ignored him, but saying you’re having a small intimate wedding sounds like a better response to rude people who automatically assume they are invited.

Post # 8
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just had to break it to a co-worker the other day that she’s not going to be invited and it was soooo awkward!  I just try to not bring it up or talk about it unless asked and when it does come up, I mention that it’s going to be a small wedding and for the most part it’s going to be family only.  Such an awkward thing!

Post # 10
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Haha Actually facebook took care of this for me! Well, except for people at work. My coworkers would ask me questions about the wedding a lot but I always felt guilty because in the back of my mind I was thinking abut how I wasn’t inviting them so it was a bit awkward.

Post # 11
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

post of facebook “working on wedding plans… man i wish i could invite everyone i know… budget/venue/fi/logistics disagree with me…. off to buy a lottery ticket, wish me luck”

 

Post # 12
Member
1698 posts
Bumble bee

Why do you need to tell people about the wedding, at all?

One of those “everything-I-need-to-know-I-learned-in-Kindergarten” concepts, was not to tell other kids about your birthday party unless they were invited. I realize your own wedding is the most exciting of events but, especially at work, it’s really a good idea to limit spreading the word to ONLY those people who really need to get the word. That would be the HR and admin folk who need to set up your benefits and vacation.

The only other people who need to know are social acquaintances who might be send you invitations to sit-down events — those people need to know that you have a fiance who needs to be included. But everyone else? They can be informed after the fact, with a change of status on your face-book page; and email announcing your change-of-name (if you plan to do that) or an engraved announcement dropped in the mail by your maid of honour on her way home from the reception while you and your new husband head off on your honeymoon.

It takes a lot of self-restraint, but I know many women who handle their wedding plans in just this way. They come across as very professional, and also as very ladylike.

Post # 13
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

May be just mention it to people you speak w ith regularly. In terms of people you are around but might not invite (like coworkers), just avoid mentioning wedding plans. If you get direct questions about the date, try to be as general as possible.

Have you picked a date?

“yes, it’s so exciting.” followed by a change of subject

but when?

“in the fall.” followed by a change of subject

“in October.” followed by a change of subject

Anyone who doesn’t pick up on these cues knows they are trying to push their way to an invite.

The topic ‘Telling people about the wedding’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors