(Closed) Telling the ex about engagement when your’re still friends

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t see the harm in having him call her and give her the good news, if he’s comfortable doing so.  It might seem weird coming from another friend.

Kudos to you guys for having such a great relationship with her.

Post # 4
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I say just post it on FB. Is there any reason you think she migth get upset about it?

Post # 5
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think it’d be fine for her to find out on facebook. But if you really want to give her a heads up, do what I did: text! I sent my ex a “Dude guess what?! I’M GETTING MARRIED!!” excited text the day before we posted the announcement on facebook. Mostly because I was giddy and texting everyone I knew, but still. He was happy for me, and he and his fiance came to the wedding. Good times!

Post # 6
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just post it on FB, unless she is a really close friend – then you would give her a phone call along with your other close friends. My advice, don’t over think it. I did the same thing and had myself in knots over it for days, for no good reason.

Post # 7
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t see why contacting and notifying her is any different from contacting and notifying any of your other friends . . .??

Post # 8
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i called my ex to tell him about my engagement. it was funny because he had just gotten engaged also, so we got to congratulate each other.

Post # 9
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@Sunfire:  Agreed.

If she is a friend like your other friends, just give her a call like you did for your other friends to tell her the news. Otherwise, FB is fine to me too!

Post # 10
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d say have your fiance call or text her like he would any other friend. No reason why she should be upset!

Post # 11
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think posting it on facebook before telling her would not be a very good idea.   My ex boyfriend (who I do not have the most positive relationship with) was extrememly upset about the fact that I announced I was in a new relationship on facebook before telling him.     He mostly felt disappointment in me for not valueing our friendship more and thinking that he wouldn’t be excite for me.

He is not someone i plan on inviting to my wedding or even really maintaining a relationship with, but I still plan on at least emailing him or calling him when I get engaged so he doesn’t have to have the facebook suprise.

 

Post # 12
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If they are very close, it warrants a phone call. If they communicate maybe only once every other month, then facebook is fine. Most of my friends found out that way and were totally cool with it (including an ex).

Post # 13
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am pretty close with my college ex and out of respect for him I called him before we went public on facebook.  There are just some people who should hear it straight from the horses’ mouth.  That being said, I second PP in saying that if he’s really close with her it probably deserves a quick call. 

Post # 14
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Making a special exception to tell her about the engagement is making her a SPECIAL exception, saying that she may be effected differently than others whom will be notified by facebook.  This leads ME to believe you assume she still has feelings for your fiance?

Post # 15
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

@KateByDesign:  That’s what I was wondering! Happy  ia mnot the only suspicious bee out there 🙂

Post # 16
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If he would personally call his other friends whom he is equally close to, then he should call her. If not, post it on FB and let her find out the way his other friends are.

The topic ‘Telling the ex about engagement when your’re still friends’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors