(Closed) Telling your best friend their significant other cannot come….acceptable?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
3067 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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jamielynn86:  well, you said you would leave it up to her, and now you are. Either just tell her flat out he isn’t invited, or deal with it.

I think you know that it will hurt your friendship. so decide what is more important to you. You won’t even really notice him there day of anyway, unless you think he will cause a problem. 

Post # 3
1292 posts
Bumble bee

Yes, you are the selfish one here. Your feelings about him don’t matter, sorry. She is in a relationship, she is in your wedding, therefore she gets to bring her SO. The end.

Post # 4
5015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think its pretty standard to allow your bridesmaid to bring a guest.  Unfortunately you don’t get to dictate who that guest is.  If you respect your friend and the choices she makes then you will have to let this go.  

ETA: You already gave her the option to bring him, if you change your mind now you will be the bad guy.  Do you want to risk causing conflict in your friendship?

Post # 6
2759 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Unacceptable Bee. You cannot ask someone to come honor your relationship while simultaneously squashing his/hers/theirs.

She already knows how you feel about him, probably already knows that you wish she wasn’t with him so instead of having the issue divide you, just respect the fact that he will be her guest at the wedding.

Post # 7
5934 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
jamielynn86:  Yeah, she gets to bring him. You can’t exclude every person who’s rude. This is the guy she is dating right now. I know it sucks. My SIL (the first time around) brought her boyfriend (which I was fine with), but I knew they wouldn’t end up together. So we had a bunch of pix with him in it and all. But, oh well. Maybe they’ll break up again…

Post # 9
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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Post # 11
691 posts
Busy bee

Just let her bring him. He’s not going to do anything crazy. Even if he’s rude, people will just say, “What a rude guy,” and not “Wow, that guest is rude so I’m going to assume that the bride sucks too.” You and I both know that’s not how it works.

You can’t use your wedding as a power trip to show her how much you don’t like him. Just let it go. You won’t even know he’s there.

Post # 12
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
jamielynn86:  Your wedding is three months away, so it sounds like there’s a chance they’ll be ‘broken up’ again by that time anyway. 

Your friend already knows how you feel about him and why, and you put the ball in her court by directly telling her it was up to her. You’re just going to fuel all the nasty shit he undoubtedly says about you and the rest of her friends if you try to ban him now. 

That said, feel free not to tolerate his rudeness or his horrible treatment of her whenever he is in your presence from now on. Call him out, and hold her accountable for bringing her shitty boyfriend around when she knows he fucks up the good vibes. 

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