(Closed) Telling Your Man You Want to Get Married

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I would say at bare minimum, a year, but that’s just a general guideline. I think this does heavily depend on the couple– my fiance’s parents met and got married within a year and a half, if I remember correctly!

Post # 3
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

missm0392:  Totally depends on the couple.  Some couples get there fast, most a little more slowly.  I didn’t talk about with with my (now) Darling Husband until we were 2 years in…but that’s because we were only 22 when we started dating and marriage was a million miles away.

If I were to start dating a guy now I’d talk marriage after becoming exclusive, exchanging I loves yous, and starting to spend holiday’s with each other’s families, but before talking about moving in together.  But that’s just me!  Each relationship is different.

Post # 4
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

It def needs to be done BEFORE you move in together. My Fiance and I had the marriage talk when we started talking about getting an apartment together. I told him if we were going to live together it would be with an understanding that marriage would be at some point down the road… he proposed within a year of living together.

Post # 5
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Widely depends on so many factors. Do you feel ready for the conversation? 

I feel like you need atleast a year to know someone, good times and trials, and live together for atlast 6 months. But how i feel do not affect anyone else. 

Post # 6
Member
6836 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I don’t think there’s a specific set amount of time for that kind of thing. It’s something that should hopefully should happen naturally. I can’t pinpoint exactly when my Fiance and I started talking marriage. I think around 3-6 months we started joking around about it. But that’s also because we’d already been to several weddings together. So we’d say stuff all the time like “when we get married, we’re not going to do XYZ like these people did.” Stuff like that. We probably didn’t start SERIOUSLY talking about it until closer to a year.

Post # 7
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

missm0392:  I think this is entirely dependent on the couple. There are several factors that play into it. Age is a big factor, if you’re 18 dating someone it’s probably better to wait to discuss marriage longer than if you’re 28. It also kind of depends on the pace of your relationship. Have you been seeing eachother once a week or everyday? That can make a difference. I don’t think there is one acceptable time frame.

Darling Husband and I discussed marriage pretty early on and definitely before we moved in together (after 6 months of dating). We were engaged after a year. But we also saw each other everyday from the point we started dating and we had to go through some tough times early on in our relationship. That’s much different from a couple that goes on a date once a week for 6 months and stays relatively superficial. 

Post # 8
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

 My current man said he wanted to marry me one day in the first 3 months…however, we talked multiple times a day (still do) and got super close really quickly.

I would have to know if he is marriage minded in the first few dates. I would want to know if he saw me as potential in the first 6 months.

Fuck a year.

Post # 9
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We moved quickly!  Kind of moved into his place (squatting basically) after a couple weeks, then rented a house together after a month and a half, married after a year.

Post # 10
Member
46 posts
Newbee

With me it was a year after we started dating and decided to move in together. We had a discussion about marriage and when we think is the right time to get married. He said four years and I was saying two years so we compromised and decided by our three year date anniversary will be when he will propose. Our three year is coming up in June so I am super excited!

Post # 11
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

Fiance and I have both been married before so around the 3-4month mark we had this converstation that implied if you’re not in it for the long haul then move along cause we wanted long term. We both saw it with each other and continued on but didn’t get engaged until about 3 years in. 

Post # 12
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

It absolutely depends on the couple. My husband and I started talking about marriage (lightly, here and there) after about six months. We both knew we were dating with the goal of getting married someday. But we didn’t start having serious conversations about marriage until after a year / a year and a half. In August 2014 we really started talking about timelines, in December 2014 we looked at rings, and we were engaged by May 2015.

For other couples, they might want to wait longer. It depends on age, goals, and personal preference. If it feels like a good time, go for it!

Post # 13
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Agree with PP about it depending on the couple and their situation. One of my BFs got engaged after six months of dating, married after 9 months and had a reception for family and friends around 16 months. They did not live together before getting married and she told me how difficult it was to adjust to living with him. 

For Fiance and I, we talked about marriage around the 6 month mark but did not get engaged until after the 2 year mark and living together for at least 5 months without killing each other. 

Just depends on the couple!

Post # 14
Member
969 posts
Busy bee

If you want to get married, period, then that should be discussed as soon as possible so no one wastes anybody’s time and so that feelings don’t possibly get hurt.

But as far as wanting to marry him specifically?  Well, that’s unique to each person, each couple, each relationship.  If it comes up naturally and isn’t forced, then that’s how you know it’s the right time to have the talk.  There isn’t any foolproof timeline that works for every couple, just do what feels right for the two of you. For one couple it may be the first month of their relationship. For another couple it may not happen until years down the road.  Bottom line is if it’s meant to happen, then you’ll have the talk when it’s right for you.

Post # 15
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My fiance brought it up casually when we’d been together probably 3 or so months.  But we didn’t have many serious discussions about it until a year later when we had to become long distance, and we got engaged 11 months after that.

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