Post # 1
I have a few updates…SO has the ring…he’s had it for a while now. I am happy about that but just not overly happy where things are with us right now. I know that every relationship has its share of ups and downs but the last argument we had made me decide to step back, take a deep breath and listen to what God wants me to do. I’m not 100% sure of what He’s telling me to do so I’m temporarily signing off in an effort not to influence my thoughts…I mean, It’s so easy to think with your heart – do what I want to do mentality, versus deciding if the time is right to do what your heart wants you to do.
It may not make sense to some of you, but I don’t want to “lose myself” in this relationship or resent him and my feelings are so twisted right now, I can’t even make sense of it. I feel like I’m babbling so my apologies about that. If I’m really honest with myself, I believe I was so fixated on getting married that I lost sight on becoming a wife who could maintain a marriage.
Have you ever felt that way? I mean, it’s so easy to look at rings and dresses and plan the wedding, but it’s not always as easy to make sure you’ve taken all things into consideration so the marriage will work – or at least it doesn’t seem that easy.
I know this is a long post, so I’ll end it with these words. I will check the boards through tomorrow for any last minute thoughts from my fellow bees. Once things have gotten clearer for me, I’ll be back. Much love to each of you and I pray that “your day, your way” will happen soon!
Post # 3
Big hugs to you! I know how you feel – it is easy to get caught up in planning the imaginary wedding in our heads and ignore our relationships and obsess over why hasnt it happened, when will it happen, etc.
I think you taking a break for a bit is a great idea, get your thoughts clear and focus on yourself!
Post # 4
Awe, I’m sorry to see you go but I know the feeling. With all of the waiting thoughts, it kind of traps you in your own head. Sometimes you have to seperate for a little bit to get a better look at things! I wish you all the best and hope that soon the ring will HAPPILY and rightly be on your finger and we’ll get updates! All the best!
Post # 5
Hugs, lots of love and prayers. To be perfectly honest, I’m struggling with this too. Our engagement has been kinda rough and I feel like Fiance is focusing on getting this or that done for the wedding, while’s I’m sitting over here going, “um, are we really ready to be married?”
I hope things work out well in both of our relationships… but mostly that we discover and do what it is that God has planned for us. Hope to see you back soon!
Post # 6
You are definitely in my prayers. Sometimes it is difficult to hear the voice of God when we have totally immersed ourselves in our own will. I pray that during this time, you will find the answers that you need and make the decision that is best for your life. Hope you to see you back soon!
Post # 7
Take care of yourself and best wishes for you. 🙂
Post # 8
I think you’re being really smart about this. Prayers and good thoughts to you, while you work this out.
Post # 9
Good luck to you. I think you are doing the difficuly, albeit, smart thing.
Post # 10
@30somethingbee: I know exactly what you mean. Prior to Darling Husband I was engaged for all of the wrong reasons. It just seemed like time and something that I wanted because friends of mine had it. I took a step back from that relationship and realized that it was all wrong. Trust your own thoughts. Good luck to you.
Post # 11
Wishing you all the best, I really hope that you can re-discover yourself in your time away. Be sure that the decision whichever it may be is yours, and that you make yourself happy in the process. It’s really difficult when things cloud your judgement. Stay strong!
Post # 13
I’m in the same boat, just don’t want to leave the site. Take things one step at a time, and take some time away from him to gain perspective. Even three days should help…Trust me..You can do this.
Post # 14
Hugs! I wish you the best of luck.
Post # 15
@30somethingbee: It’s SO wonderful to see a waiting bee who really wants to be certain that she is following God’s will for her life and who wants God’s best for her FI’s life. You are very wise to make sure that you are in the right relationship, for the right reasons, because it is very easy to be swept away in a sea of emotions and hormones. “The Wedding” really does tend to take on a life of its own. All brides want to “get” married, but not all of them really have thought about “being” married. Getting married, for the most part, is fun. Being married, is often very challenging. And, since most people believe marriage at least SHOULD BE forever, it’s short-sighted to fail to carefully consider life beyond the altar.
One of the things that REALLY bothers me about wedding planning in our modern society is that it often involves very long lead times as well as enormous financial commitments to be made far in advance of the wedding date. All of the contracts clearly specify that, if you break the contract for any reason, you’re going to forfeit your deposits, which, in many cases, is 50 percent of the cost of the contracted-for services. This makes breaking an engagement a very difficult thing to do, even for those who have significant doubts.
You are very smart to take a step back and evaluate your relationship in light of God’s plan for your life instead of just taking the bling and racing ahead.
Post # 16
@30somethingbee: I think you’re a very wise woman! I think that many women get caught up in the idea of having and planning a wedding, but are not prepared for the actual marriage. Definitely follow your heart and God’s direction! All the best to you, my dear! Hugs!