Tempted to change Christmas plans and "tradition"

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
7987 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Do it! It sounds much more relaxed. I dont think anyone should sacrifice their comfort or mental health for the sake of family or holidays. 

My auntie got tired of all the family drama and started going on vacation around xmas and has never been happier. I think finding what works for your family is going to make you so much happier. 

Post # 4
8283 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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kmbumbee190618 :  Christmas day at your Grandparents, whilst wonderful and nostalgic in the day, now sounds horrible and stressful. You are grown adults, if it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy DON’T DO IT. Spend time with the family members you do cherish and start your own traditions. 


It sounds like you have tried to be the bigger people and still attend but it sounds like a horrible way to spend Christmas as far as I am concerned and you deserve better. 

Post # 5
2238 posts
Buzzing bee

With what you are describing, you should skip the big awkward Christmas and make new traditions.

Post # 6
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Definitely skip the big circus.  We don’t do Thanksgiving with my family anymore.  My brother has 4 kids and my mom invites my sister in law’s entire family and I don’t care for her mother at all and it’s just drama and noise.   We go to my mom and dad’s either the week before or after and have dinner with them and spend time with them.  We go for Christmas Eve but Thanksgiving and Christmas Day are for us now.  Sometimes we go out of town for Thanksgiving also.  Call me horrible if you will, but my mom loves having everyone over but usually my Sister in law ruins the night and gets mad if anyone says anything about the kids behaving (they don’t) and fights with her mom or sister.  This year, there was a big blowout that caused my mom to be in tears and my sister in law left my brother at my parents and took the kids home in the middle of dinner.  It’s too much, especially for us that don’t have or desire kids.  I love my niece and nephews but they’re a lot, especially with 18 other people in the house.  

Post # 8
10540 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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kmbumbee190618 :  

Your last sentence says it all OP, do it. So long as the grandparents and aunties know and understand your motives, it will be fine. I’d go further and start going away on a little cruise or stayaway over the actual holiday, given you are cfbc.

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